Part 30

The escape…in the mirror

Yes, I had decided. So I went to my laptop, dialed in through me on the Internet and booked for Monday morning, 10:53am a non-stop-flight to Seattle. No, I did not know what expected me, but I was sure that I wanted to come now to you. I thought if I wait yet longer, my courage will leave me. And so much a lot of fear I also had, I knew certainly: I will wait no day longer than urgently. I called my boss and asked, under flimsy grounds, around immediate vacation. Because were like anyhow just in the so-called summer hole and my presence was not necessary compelling, she agreed and gave a holiday to me one week. I began to pack my things, a small pocket with only some things. In the end, I do not want to attack you also immediately and maybe you are not also at all at home. However, it was a venture, I knew this, however, and I was more than decided in addition.

I have too done no eye at this night. So a lot what I wanted to say to you. Sometime I have got up and began to write a letter to you. However, after a few lines I tore him again, I could not simply find the right words. Time the sentences sounded too profane, sometimes too philosophically, sometimes too emotional, sometimes too dull, sometimes I wrote a novel and sometimes one completely certain word did not occur to me. It was crazy in such a way. So against 4 I went to bed again, I was dog-tired and, nevertheless was brightly awake. I got up again, drank a glass of wine, read a newspaper, went to bed again, stared in the dark space to the cover, for several minutes to itself everything started to turn. So I have got up again, cleared up in the kitchen, went again to the bedroom and unpacked my pocket once more. Had I wrapped up the right thing? I exchanged two shirts, wrapped up additional trousers and rummaged around forever in my toilet bag to me perfectly found. Then everything came again to the pocket. Maybe I could take for the flight one more book? So I went to the sitting room. Crime film, lesbian novel, thriller, history, guide, drama, comedy, at the end of my search lay 14 books beside me on the table. Hmmm, this was exaggerated then probably, nevertheless, a little, good so, better this is a guide away, comedy away, hmmm, thriller away, drama away, lesbian novel?, maybe also not the right thing, well. Now this limits itself to three books of the categories Crime film and History, hmmm, Napoleon or Sissi? War or heart pain? Fight or devotion? France or Austria? Sissi, yes, I believe, Sissi is good. So I put fast both books in my pocket, only not to come to the embarrassment, to think once more about it. I have hunger, smear to me a Bagel and bolted down him, a cup of coffee in addition, so that whole was not too dry.