Alternate ending

The escape

I hadn’t slept that good in a long time. I had such a wonderful dream of us both and as I awoke, I wished that this dream had never come to an end. I can’t remember what it really was about. The only thing I remember is: you were with me, with your inimitable smile, talking to me with your tender voice, I could feel the warmth you were radiating when you held me in your arms… I felt peace, peace in me and with the world, peace in my heart, peace in my being.

So many thoughts went through my mind, with my hand searching on the empty side of the bed. Just a smile, a touch, a soft fleeting touch of your hand on my back, your warm breath on my skin, a hardly audible ‘Good morning, Darling.’, holding you for just a moment that should last an eternity, the smell of fresh coffee, that, thanks to the new programmable machine, was already made; a little sunbeam that danced on the happy colors of our bedclothes under which we moved slowly. I simply laid there, my eyes closed and drew the feelings that inrushed me as long as I could.

I got up, floated to the kitchen, took some coffee and went to the desk. One last time again I had to read the letter I’ve written to you. Yes, I think it’s perfect. So I put it in the envelope and then on the little table next to the door. ‘If I waylaid the postman, I could give it to him right away’, I thought. It was an excellent morning. I sat down on the terrace with my coffee; the sun was shining and I let it warm my face. I fully enjoyed that morning, breathed the fresh warm air, and when I closed my eyes it was like floating in the clouds. Suddenly I felt so light, like I had thrown away all sorrows and pain. Well yes, I know, everything was still there, ever-present, but just in this moment I could shake everything off me for a few seconds. Meanwhile it had turned twelve and I had been dreaming away the last two hours. It got time for a shower, a little walk in the park and maybe buying some groceries until Marina wanted to come over in the evening. What could it be, so important, she had to tell me? ‘Well, I’ll get to know.’ So, I had a shower. Lukewarm water moisten my body, tender and soft it seemed to caress me. Everything seemed to be born from gentleness this morning. There was so much tenderness around, tenderness that stroke me, that intended to cover me in a feeling of concealment. I know you would have sensed it too, if you were here, Tina. I would have so much wanted to give you a few of the feelings that overcame me.