Ashley interrupts again, but this time she’s happy.

“Good!”

“Yeah, he told her off, I was very proud of him, but that’s when the rumors started…they didn’t know, but I was ‘round the corner at my locker, and I heard everythin’. The truth is Madison couldn’t wrap her little brain ‘round the fact that someone would dare reject her…she still wanted to hook up with him again, when he turned her down she accused him of bein’ gay. The weird part is he didn’t respond. He just stood there…I wanted to check on him, but the bell rang.” Spencer continued once more.

“Whoa, that’s crazy!”

Spencer nods.

“Doesn’t mean he’s gay though. I know what its like to be distracted from somethin’ important by that bell. Ashley says thinking back to the first day of school.

“Maybe…I’m not sure…he’s my bro and I’ll always love ‘em no matter what…, but what ‘bout you? Would you think differently ‘bout him or me and my family if he is gay?” Spencer worries.

“Of course not Spence, the only way my feelin’s could change ‘bout you or your family is for the better!”

She flashes him her trademark reassuring smile making him wonder.

Spencer’s Inner Monologue

“How does she do that? I could be the saddest I’ve ever been, and all she’d have to do is smile, it works better than my meds!”

Spencer is snapped out of his inner monologue by an enquiring Ashley.

“So…did your parents ask why I wasn’t my usual awesome self when I dropped ya off?” Ashley asks lightheartedly.

“Yeah, that’s another thing that’s buggin’ me…” Spencer stops mid answer.

“What is?” Ashley asks out of confusion.

“I’m not as strong as ya think I am…” Spencer begins to confess before pausing again.

“Um…okay?” Ashley replies.

“I know ya think that I don’t let the shit people say get to me… most of the time it doesn’t, ’cause I don’t want it to…I sure as hell don’t want anyone I care ‘bout to see what it does to me sometimes… sometimes I’m just pretendin’…but one thing is always true… all of the time…I’m constantly in fear of what might happen if I can’t pretend anymore or if I’m not doin’ a good ‘nough job…” Spencer says almost all in one breath trying to get it over with.