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The Wedding… – (Chapter: Something Blue…)
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“Can you feel that?”
Silence.
“Spence…”
“Yeah…yeah, I can definitely feel that.”
Her words only spurred me forth on an already decreed pilgrimage.
“Good.”
Of course my fingers longed to traverse the landscape that was Spencer Carlin. It was an odyssey whose muse was the actual course. But I couldn’t. Not just yet.
“Ashley?”
“Hmm?”
She didn’t respond, forcing me to abstract my lips from her shoulders and meet her eyes, “Spence…what is it?”
“I have to tell you something.”
And there they were. The six little words that could ruin anything. That often did just that.
“What is it?”
I braced myself, bordering between hyperventilation and emotional incarceration.
“I mean, it’s practically nothing. It shouldn’t even be a big deal, really. I don’t even know why I’m telling you.”
“Spence…don’t do that. Just…”
“It’s about Carmen.”
“Ok…”
“You know how I told you that she sort of forced me into a relationship with her? Like, basically made me feel like I was going to lose her from my life if I didn’t…”
”Yeah, yeah…I know. What about it?”
“That may not be the complete truth.”
“It may not be or it isn’t?”
“It’s not. I mean, it isn’t.”
“So what does that mean exactly?”
“We were in love. I was in love with her. And she didn’t force me into anything. I wanted to be there…with her. But one day we weren’t…careful, and my mother walked in on us. A week later we were in L.A.”
“And then…”
“She made me feel like I was nothing, Ashley. She made me ashamed of who I was…who I am. I was in complete denial after that.”
“And you started dating Aiden?”
“Yeah, a few months later. And my mother was ecstatic. It was like she finally loved me again, you know? I was her daughter again.”
I took a deep breath, knowing there was more. Hoping I was wrong.
“Is there something else? You know, while you’re at it.”
She exhaled while I suffocated, her voice quieter now, “Aiden and I…we broke up because I told him that I was attracted…that I was attracted to other women. That I might be a lesbian.”
I laughed indifferently, realizing that I had fallen for someone who had done nothing but lie to me. Again.
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whoa! spencer .. lied to her. whoa! great post! i really like this! PMS!!
NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! What’s wrong with spencer? she like a patholigical liar, what’s up with that? I hope ashley can trust her again and they can be together, but not as a scam, but if it were me, it’d be REALLY hard for me to trust spencer again. But I just hope ashley can. PMASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm…I think a lot of people understand Spencer’s situation. Sometime’s people wander into our lives right as we are trying to get our truths sorted out, and they step right into the mess, even though we really are trying to be honest. If I were Ash, I’d be pissed too. Yet, I feel its more disappointment and hurt instigating most of her emotions. You can’t start off with someone you really like, when the first few things out of their mouth are lies. I’m sure ashley “gets” spencer’s situation, yet she can’t see past her own emotions to really be objective at this point. I’d want a hotel too, lol.Awesome dialogue, as always, GoAsk…
When it comes to our identity, especially sexual identity, the fear of coming out of the closet sometimes prevents us from being honest with ourselves and especially too others. I can totally relate to Spencer’s dilemma and truly understand the confusion that had infiltrated her heart, soul and mind…fear ultimately drove her too lie, unfortunately, the one woman that she had totally fallen in love with happened to be the one she lied too. I hope Ashley and Spencer can work out this trust issue. You are an amazing and talented writer and I love every story you write, so don’t worry about missing a chapter, no harm done…your fans will always remain faithful no matter what you do. PMS
Great Update. Keep up the good work. I can’t wait for the next chapter. PMS real soon.
So close yet so far, can’t wait to see what happens.
whoa! spencer .. lied to her. whoa! great post! i really like this! PMS!!
NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! What’s wrong with spencer? she like a patholigical liar, what’s up with that? I hope ashley can trust her again and they can be together, but not as a scam, but if it were me, it’d be REALLY hard for me to trust spencer again. But I just hope ashley can. PMASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm…I think a lot of people understand Spencer’s situation. Sometime’s people wander into our lives right as we are trying to get our truths sorted out, and they step right into the mess, even though we really are trying to be honest. If I were Ash, I’d be pissed too. Yet, I feel its more disappointment and hurt instigating most of her emotions. You can’t start off with someone you really like, when the first few things out of their mouth are lies. I’m sure ashley “gets” spencer’s situation, yet she can’t see past her own emotions to really be objective at this point. I’d want a hotel too, lol.Awesome dialogue, as always, GoAsk…
When it comes to our identity, especially sexual identity, the fear of coming out of the closet sometimes prevents us from being honest with ourselves and especially too others. I can totally relate to Spencer’s dilemma and truly understand the confusion that had infiltrated her heart, soul and mind…fear ultimately drove her too lie, unfortunately, the one woman that she had totally fallen in love with happened to be the one she lied too. I hope Ashley and Spencer can work out this trust issue. You are an amazing and talented writer and I love every story you write, so don’t worry about missing a chapter, no harm done…your fans will always remain faithful no matter what you do. PMS
Great Update. Keep up the good work. I can’t wait for the next chapter. PMS real soon.
So close yet so far, can’t wait to see what happens.
Ahhh spencer needs to be honest, but i get what she is dealing with. I think Ashley over reacted a tad, yes of course specher shouldnt of been lying to her, but at least she cared enough to tell her. I hope they can work it out cause i think i have fallen in love with both of them in this story..PMS!
Ahhh spencer needs to be honest, but i get what she is dealing with. I think Ashley over reacted a tad, yes of course specher shouldnt of been lying to her, but at least she cared enough to tell her. I hope they can work it out cause i think i have fallen in love with both of them in this story..PMS!