“Hey Spencer.” Toni greets me when I show up Thursday night to watch Grays Anatomy.

“How’s it going?” I give her a quick hug before moving onto the living room. I really like Toni. She’s great to talk to, funny, and a really great friend to Ashley. I’ve been thinking a lot about the advice she gave me and hopefully tonight I can figure out what’s going on with Ashley.

“Hey…” Ashley grabs my hand when I try to walk past her. “Come here.” Next thing I know, I’m sitting in her lap. “I missed you.” She says planting a kiss on my closed lips. We haven’t talked much in the last two days since I’ve seen her at Toni’s desk.

“We’ll talk later.” I promise her. I get off of her lap and sit on the couch next to her.

I could feel Ashley’s eyes on me the whole time the show was on. When it went off, Toni said she was calling it a night and kissed Ashley and I on the forehead before walking to her room.

“I’m sor…”

“Don’t.” I stop her before she can finish. “I don’t want you to tell me you’re sorry Ashley.” I move over to sit in the chair across from her wheel chair. “I want you to tell me why you did what you did, and what’s bothering you.”

“I just wasn’t thinking. I said I was sorry. Let’s move on.” She says looking at everything else but me. I guess she’s trying to avoid looking at the hurt that I’m not hiding at the way she’s acting.

“If you want to break up with me, then just do it.” I stand. “You don’t have to be a jackass about it.”

“Whoa… who said anything about breaking up? I said I was sorr…”

“Don’t you fucking say those words again!” Ashley looks at me shocked.

“Calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ashley grabs my hand and holds it between hers. I sit back down and we sit in silence holding hands.

“Look,” I wait until Ashley eyes are on me before I continue. “I know we haven’t had sex…”

“Its not…”

“Let me finish.” She sighs and nods her head. “We’ve been together for four months and have yet to have sex. And maybe that’s bothering you. I can understand that. I can.” I squeeze her hand. “But I don’t want to rush into anything.” Ashley rolls her eyes. “And this relationship won’t work if you can’t respect that.” I tell her while pulling my hand away.

“I have no problem with you wanting to move slowly.”

“So what’s the problem? You’ve had a nasty attitude all week.”

“I…you…”

“It’s okay.” I assure her that I’ll listen to whatever she has to say.

“You make me so…I find myself getting so caught up in you.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask hesitantly.

“It’s a new thing.” Ashley smiles shyly at me. “I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about any girl I’ve been with.”

“Okay…”

“You’ve been so great to me. I use to feel so limited with other girls, but with you it’s different. I don’t think you would ditch me because my wheelchair doesn’t fit into your plans.”

“I won’t.” I agree.

“I don’t know what to say…I’m a girl.” She says taking my hand once again. “You’ve made me into this emotional girl with all these feelings that I don’t know how to share,” We stare at each other for a minute before she pulls on my hand. I know she wants me to sit in her lap, so I do. “I never meant to hurt you.” She says while placing little kisses to my neck.

“I know.” I turn my face towards her and gently move my lips against hers. “Just talk to me. Tell me how you’re feeling…”

“I want you.” She says tightening her hold around me. “Not just in a sexual way, but…Spencer?”

“Yeah?” Our eyes are locked in this intense stare down.

“I want all of you.”

TBC