Chapter 1: Witless Protection Programme

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since my Good Friday killing spree, that's what BBC News calls it.  I was actually in Liverpool for five days visiting old friends then I went to Halifax for a day because well, I have to visit any place that calls itself 'Halifax'  After that I went to Ireland for a short while.  I didn't last too long there because I started my queer hunting there and they paid me to leave their country since I was affecting tourism and business there.  Who said that hunting those people doesn't pay?  Now I'm back in London, trying to figure out what should be my next move.  I was thinking of going to Larkhall and killing off Sheena Williams and Pat Kerrigan, then I though of taking care of Samantha Fox and her lover.  I know that the Queen would probably knight me on that one since no one in the UK likes her anymore.  However in the back of my mind I knew that something was missing.  I didn't know what it was until Jim told me some potentially good news.

"Hey mate, I got some good news for you."

"What could it be Jim?"

"Well someone that I know in the Witness Protection Programme knows where Nikki Wade and Helen Stewart located.  They went into the programme after the police found the hit list you accidentally left in the hotel the last time you were here, they saw their names on it.  Nikki and Helen also know that you were good friends with DC Gossard, the bloke that Nikki killed when he was trying to rape Trisha."

That was a very stupid and careless mistake that I made, leaving my hit list.  For that point on, I always have my hit list in my PDA.  Then it hit me, that's what's missing!  Those two Fanny Fluffers. (Fanny = Pussy here in England)

"Yes I remember my pal Gossard, I wanted to get revenge for that incident, So you mean they are in the Witless Protection Program?"

"No, it's the Witness Protection Programme, why are you calling it 'Witless'?

"Because you gotta be witless to think it would actually help protect you from me."

We just laughed.

"However since this information is crucial, he is asking for 8,000 pounds."

"8,000 POUNDS!  How the hell can we come up with that money?"

"I don't know mate, I just don't know."  Jim said while trying to think of something.

For a while we were both quiet trying to think of ways to get that type of money, and then it finally hit me.

"I got it!  I know how we can make that money and have fun at the same time."

"You do?  Please tell me!"

So I told him the plan and then told him to get all the weapons and equipment ready for tomorrow night.

"Ok the Raging Bulldagger has been sharpend and the Solution has been cleaned.  Both are ready."  Jim said.

"Good, then we are all set then."

For those who haven't read the first three other parts of this series (you should).  The Raging Bulldagger is a is a strong and sturdy dagger with a bull's head at the bottom and decorated with sapphires on one side and black triangles on another.  The Solution is a modified cricket bat with titanium in the centre and the colors of the rainbow flag at the tip of the bat (just so I can rub it on those people when I beat the shit out of them.)  The Sapphire Sisters were a group of super-large, man-hating, Amazonian dyke bitches that I battled with for a long time.  They wore a big and elaborate sapphire ring, even more fancier than the ring that Fenner gave to Betts.

END OF PART 4, CHAPTER 1