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Uncivil Union – (Chapter: All In the Timing…)
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ASHLEY:
“Vagina.”
“Ash…”
“You have a vagina.”
“What if I did?”
“Dude, you do. What the fuck do you mean, ‘what if I did?’ You totally do. It’s sitting pretty in those Diesel jeans. And you know what? It got wet like the vagina it is the second you decided to have a dinner party. Super wet when you pulled out the fresh basil to make this dip we’re eating right now. And dangerously wet…like caution sign wet the second you brought out these art-deco plates you bought at Target last year. Try to deny that shit, because I was with you when you squealed like a girl and bought the fifty-piece set.”
“You bought an Old Spice Christmas gift basket that you kept for yourself. Does that mean you have a penis?”
“No, that means I had an active sex life and a desire to smell like the sweet, natural spices of God’s nature. Is that so wrong?”
“Is it so wrong that I enjoy planning dinner parties?”
I thought about it for at least three or four seconds.
“Yes…yes it is, actually.”
“Ashley’s just jealous because the only thing she can make in the kitchen is…”
“Love. Sweet, married love,” I say, sliding my right arm around her waist.
“Spencer, I appreciate the effort but Ash has been railing on me since the second we met,” Aiden said with a shrug.
“It’s true, lady. The second I met the infamous Vagina Man…it was like magic. I knew I was born to make fun of this kid for the rest of my life. He’s a lucky man, and I…a lucky lass. It’s a beautiful thing.”
“And when you met me?” she asked, eyebrow raised as usual.
“I thought to myself, ‘this is a girl who one day is going to trust me enough to let me go off to L.A. for a month and believe me when I tell her I’m not sleeping with every actress I meet at the Kabbalah center.’”
She grinned, nodding knowingly.
People, what I love most about my perfect, gorgeous, intelligent, yoga-bodied wife is that she lets me be myself. Yeah, there were declarations of love, hours spent talking over coffee brewed at midnight, merging Netflix accounts, and soft, gentle sex with tears and whatnot. But that didn’t mean the playful banter came to an abrupt halt. It didn’t mean the end to our differences. It simply meant we had learned to appreciate them.
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Nice. Cute. I totally dug your comedic attempt via this story, it almost inspires me to do the same. I feel all mushy and happy inside from the adorableness that is Spashley.
wow! I have to thank u, so thank u thank u thank u THANK U! I enjoyed reading this story. this just proves how an amazing writer u are! I mean… u can do funny, light, joke filling, hilarious stories. u are “flexible”, daring and with an imagination that amazes me. I wish ur ink wouldn’t stop with “the assassination of trust” which is great, by the way! ur growth, as a writer, shows on every update! I’m a big fan! if u decide to venture into writing something new, please let me know. and oh… keep the ink running ;)
i’m sad to hear that you wont’t be doing any more stories after assasination of trust, but at least you’re finishing it. I loved this update. it was really cute and a nice ending to an awesome story. I hope to see more of your works in the future! XD crazycraze
great ending i too am sad that your last spashley story well be assination of trust but well at least you’ll finish that one if anything else. i’ve greatly enjoyed reading your stories and i must say that it well be a great loss of a great author when your last story is at an end. again great ending. :D
loved it. started with the sweat shirt ended with it. bravo
Perfect, full-circle perfectness. You’re my favorite and I’m going to miss your writer a great deal. You really made these two come together in a grea way. You’re an amazing writer and again I’m so bummed. But at least you ended the story so well…and I still have the assassination of trust to look forward to!
This story was amazing, one of my favourites!.. sad to see it end.. :)
fantastic end to an awesome story. I loved it so much, it made me laugh harder than I thought possible. I truly love your writing, it’s fantastic. I look forward to the rest of ‘the assassination of trust’ but I must say thank you for writing ‘uncivil union’! bravo!
wow, that was so awesome! i cant believe its over though! that was one of my favourite fanfics iv ever read, and you are seriously one of the best authors of ANY fanfic iv ever read anywhere!!! that was such a great story and im so glad i could be there chapter by chapter to experience it with all your other loyal fans.. i really hope you reconsider and do some more spashley!!! thanks for the amazing story!
truly amazing!!! it sucks to see it end here but thanks for all the great late night laughs, at least there is still your other story..maybe u should reconsider the whole not writing anymore spashley!!!
your so fucking good at the funny stuff like mann. to funny!
Aw, perfect ending. I am going to miss this story so much. Although to your credit I will probably save a lot of time going on this site so often to see if you’ve updated… (crap I still have AoT to anticipate, damn you). I really truly loved this story. You captured the essence of both character so effortlessly and at a level way beyond that explored on the show. It flowed perfectly and their witty dialogue had me cracking up because not only was it hilarious, but I could just picture Ashley or Spencer saying something like that. You aren’t Tom L are you? You seem to write the characters better than he does actually lol. Seriously though, it was beautiful. I look forward to re-reading it a couple dozen times a year just like all the other stories in your archive. Maybe I should have you email them to me in case you delete them off of here and I lose them forever… ponder ponder ponder…
loved it!
aww man so cute i already commented on another site like i always do lol but its the end you know and i wanted to comment on it again lol i loved it you did a great job “your my bitch” still my fav line lol :) love you your awsome :)