Wait. At this point all I can do is wait. I have to wait for her to figure out who she is, who she wants to be with, and if she loves me. This waiting is like slow torture as you watch someone slowly peel layers of skin off your body. Who is my torturer? Ashley Davies.

She has the most beautiful auburn curly hair and deep brown eyes that absorb your soul. Don’t even get me started on her body.

She’s tortured by her mind. She thinks she’s not worthy of happiness or fulfillment but how wrong she is. I know her past and yet I still love her. Love? Can I love someone? A girl? Yes, and I do. Ashley helped me figure out that I, Spencer Carlin, am gay and I have eyes for one. Ashley.

I haven’t paid attention at all to the history lesson Mrs. Lewis keeps going on and on about. I’m too enthralled by Ashley. My angel. I see her as she concentrates so hard her forehead wrinkles. She’s so beautiful. Her lips curl as she writes down something important. Wait. Why is she leaving?

“Spence? Are you coming?” Spoken by an angel. “Spence? Class is over.”

“Oh. Yea. I’m coming.” Crap. Does she know I was staring at her? Be cool Spence. Just calm down and get yourself together.

Ashley laughs that beautiful laugh as she watches me gather my books and stumble after her.

“Napoleon is so boring. I don’t get how some midget won so many fights.” Those luscious lips move as we walk down the hallway towards the parking lot.

“Earth to Spencer. Are you okay?”

            “What? Yea, I’m fine. Just zoned out. Sorry.” Smooth Spence. Way to make her feel like you don’t care, but her lips are so distracting.

            “Do you want to come to my house? It being Friday and my mother is off with the flavor of the week.”

            “Yea,” Anything to be with the goddess in front of me. “Let me just call my Dad.” I take out my cell phone and scroll through my contacts.

            “Hello.”

            “Hey Dad. Can I go to Ashley’s?”

            “Yea. Are you staying there tonight?”

            “Ash? Are we staying at your house tonight?”

            “If you want to.” Brilliant!

            “Yea, Dad. I’ll be home tomorrow some time.”

            “Okay. Be careful. I love you.” Fatherly Love.

            “Love you too.” I smile as I hang up. A whole night with the woman I’m madly in love with. I can’t wait.

            “Ready?”

            “Yea. Let’s go.” We walk to her car and she opens the door for me. She’s amazing. Why isn’t she my girlfriend? Oh yea. She thinks her past is too much. I know about the drinking and the drugs and the girls. But she’s changed. She’s not that person anymore. I see the pain in her eyes when she looks at me. She puts up her confident act and convinces everyone that she is fine and unfazed by what others say but I know the truth. I see it when she looks at me every time Madison walks by and makes her snide remark like “dyke” or “freak” or “lesbo.”   For a split second you can see how much she hurts then she puts the wall back up again. Only I see the small crack in her hard cover. Maybe one day I can break completely in and she’ll trust me with her deepest feelings. For now I wait.