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    Beyond My Knowing, chapter 32

    Miteza’s gaze drifted over to Artem who was chopping loka root and she lost her train of thought. She felt proud of him, and worried for him. Familiar feelings. It was somehow always startling to her just how much she felt for them, for her children. She felt this pull to protect them that came from somewhere deep inside her that she’d tried to explain to herself several times, failing every time. Had Tulk ever felt that? He’d always seemed so… disinterested in them, in their children. How could he not feel it? Did males simply not? Or did some females not feel it either? If it was a common trait for males, would Artem not feel it for his own children either? She looked over to Kes who was setting the water to boil. She’d seen how Kes had been with Vastu, and even how she looked at Artem …like a mother. They weren’t even of her blood, and she could look at them like that so easily. It was definitely an appealing quality, now that she considered it.

    ”Miteza?” Anara asked.

    ”Yes?” She asked. ”Oh, I’m sorry… I… Should you go to Garlis’s bakery then, to ask after Thalla?” She offered, looking over to Kes and Artem again.

    Anara smiled to herself. Miteza was so used to being ignored, she could sense it was a strange and new feeling for her to be looked to for answers. Slowly, she and Kes could tell, she was coming to feel more confidence in herself. Kes nodded. ”That sounds like it’s probably our best chance.” She agreed.

    ———————

    Only feeling slightly nervous, Kes brought the spoon to her lips. She took a sip of the broth and then brought the spoon between her lips and took in her first spoonful of stew. She smiled as she chewed and smiled even more when Anara took her hand and their eyes met. ”I like it.” Kes told her wife softly.

    Anara brought her hand up and kissed Kes’s fingers, then brushed her cheek against her knuckles. Kes’s breath caught and her heart sped up. She swallowed. Their eyes met again. ”Thank you, zaraya.” Anara told her softly. ”For the stew… and… for other things.”

    Kes closed her eyes and felt a heady warmth travel all throughout her body in slow waves. She loved Anara’s voice, so very much. ”You’re welcome.” Kes told her just as softly. Sensing something, she turned her head then and saw Artem looking at them strangely. Just looking at him was enough for his thoughts to be clear to her. He found what and Anara were doing alien. He was imagining doing that with another boy and wondering what that would be like. It was so outside of his context though. He’d seen two men in an ally together once, kissing and growling in a low, rumbling sort of way. He’d turned away, embarrassed. Kes wanted to tell him that it was alright to question things, to wonder what was right for himself, but she somehow didn’t think he’d appreciate it if she tried to give him advice about it. Kes also found herself suddenly wishing again that she could stop sensing Miteza, Artem, and Vastu’s thoughts as much as she was. She knew Anara was feeling it too. The attention it took to stay grounded to each other was… daunting.

    Comments

    1. MITEZA has trouble showing affection and watching the interaction between KES/ANARA is puzzling to her since she only knew her husband but yet she ponders if being with a woman is expected of her or THALLA. ARTEM/KES need to find his sister and leave not wait until its too late and all is lost.

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