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    Beyond My Knowing, chapter 33

    Story written on July 13, 2016 by Jess.
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    Number of Comments: 1
    Words: 5003
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=93606
    Author Notes:

    Anara blinked her eyes open groggily. She felt tired, so tired… They had only been memories, not real, not even shared with the person she most wanted to share them with. Kes felt so far away. She’d reached for her while she’d been remembering, Anara realized, but it hadn’t worked, it had only further tired

    Anara blinked her eyes open groggily. She felt tired, so tired… They had only been memories, not real, not even shared with the person she most wanted to share them with. Kes felt so far away. She’d reached for her while she’d been remembering, Anara realized, but it hadn’t worked, it had only further tired her out… She felt a weight against her shoulder. She turned and realized her sister had fallen asleep against her shoulder, a blissful smile on her lips. Anara sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, looking up at the gloomy ceiling above her. She felt… miserable. Tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away. She missed her wife, she missed her children… without Kes, she couldn’t even pick up the vaguest sense of Lanam, as far away as she was, and that was an absence that was taking a lot out of her too… Lanam and Tresit were completely safe though, she told herself and tried to force herself to believe it unwaveringly. It only marginally eased her worries. To love, she’d long since bitterly learned, was the greatest joy, but could also bring you the most pain. It’s what being a mother was, and, she knew now, it was also what being a wife was. She wanted that happy life back, the one she’d shown her sister just now. She wanted the life that was waiting for them across the desert and under the ground. She wanted this to be over.

    …It couldn’t be though, could it? Not yet. She was tired, weary, and Kes was more so and needed her rest. The men would be back from the mines before long. She and her family would never have enough time to flee before then, not unless Kes woke up very soon, and Anara knew somehow that that would not happen. She knew also that it wouldn’t be safe to try to wake her either. Her wife needed time. Maybe they both needed time.

    It wasn’t even close to ideal, but, she decided, they’d just have to stay here in Miteza’s home overnight. She could take Kes with her to one of the beds and try to reach her in dreams, try to help her heal that way… Would Cagen be missed though? He’d lived alone, but he was important. He had Jabin’s favor. No, he’d be missed. Or he likely would be. But would anyone have known where he’d gone? Would anyone come looking for him? …No, she decided. Probably not tonight. The next day, the next evening perhaps. If he’d told anyone what he was about, they’d assume he’d been successful and was spending time with Miteza, wooing her, or comforting her in her loss, which would have undoubtedly amounted to the same thing in his eyes. She found her eyes trained on the corpse again, those feelings of hate towards him coming back. She kept a reign on them though, with effort.

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    Comments

    1. LOVE,a powerful weapon when looking into the face that you fear the most .ANARA never hesitated to protect KES ,her wife from the face of danger .MITEZA realized what she thought she knew about love was not what she had .KES when pushed met the old woman head-on and won but not without punishing herself in the process.They need to go and quickly.One helluva post,thoroughly enjoyed reading this but keep them safe please.THANKS,ps.

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