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    Beyond My Knowing, chapter 34

    Story written on July 22, 2016 by Jess.
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    Number of Comments: 1
    Words: 3279
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=93634
    Author Notes:

    ”You didn’t hurt me…” Kes replied, gazing up into her wife’s eyes with a complete devotion that she could easily see mirrored in Anara’s gaze. ”You protected me, defended me… You… You avenged me.” Kes told her. It was a strange feeling, that she felt the concept so alien and so altogether familiar all at

    ”You didn’t hurt me…” Kes replied, gazing up into her wife’s eyes with a complete devotion that she could easily see mirrored in Anara’s gaze. ”You protected me, defended me… You… You avenged me.” Kes told her. It was a strange feeling, that she felt the concept so alien and so altogether familiar all at once. From her time as… as being her wife, she felt she understood her more now, understood this part of her more now than she had before. She was glad of that, even though she was… still not entirely comfortable with it. She knew that Anara had done what she had because of love. That she, in fact, was driven to it because of that, and because something about the essential nature of being Kazon meant that she all but had to act that way under circumstances like that. She felt the echoes of that bone- and blood-deep need to kill… and, she considered, would she really act so very differently if someone had tried to do what Cagen had tried to do to her to Anara? No… Not so different. She wouldn’t find joy it doing it as Anara had, or feel the need and hate so very deeply, but… She’d do it anyway, even if it disgusted her. She’d kill. For that, she’d kill.

    Anara smiled serenely down at her, and Kes wouldn’t have needed their mental link to tell that her words had taken a weight from her wife’s shoulders that had still been there. ”I love you… More than I think I could ever explain, I love you, Kes…” Anara told her, laying down against her and kissing her skin gently, closing her eyes and taking in her scent again.

    Kes looked up upon the dreamland sky. ”It seemed so far away, impossibly far sometimes…”

    ”The sky, you mean?” Anara replied, not bothering to open her eyes or move away from her wife. Anara could still see just as easily though her wife’s eyes as she could her own, it had become second nature for her.

    ”Mm, yes…” Kes answered. ”Now… Now though, it’s the other way around, isn’t it? And what used to be home for me… now seems as far away to me as the sky did back then. I can hardly imagine what it will… feel like, to go back there. To see my parents again, to see my friends…”

    ”I met them, I think… in a memory of yours, while you were away…” Anara said. ”I liked them… Even… Even Tae…” Kes could tell it was somewhat disquieting for her wife to admit to that. ”I should want you to have nothing to do with her, I know that I should.”

    ”Maybe.” Kes allowed, closing her eyes and snuggling up closer with her wife, kissing her skin. She wondered how much of what she was doing, what they were doing, they were also doing in the waking world in Miteza’s bed. If she concentrated, she might be able to sense the waking world as she had before, but she didn’t really want to…

    ”I don’t though… Because it feels almost as if I loved her once upon a time too. She’s… She’s a part of you, and I love you, so… I think I want to meet her. And Lona, and the rest. Do you… Do you think they’ll like me? Accept me? Our family?” She asked, opening her eyes as Kes turned her over onto her back and looked down into her trusting eyes.

    ”I hope they will. I’m almost completely sure Lona will, at least, if no one else.” Kes said. ”I… I don’t think I ever completely knew who Tae truly was, let alone who she might be now, presumably married with a home of her own, perhaps even a family of her own… It was… I don’t think I could ever quite see past my hopes, my feelings for her… The future I imagined we could have together…” Kes considered. ”I know I see you truly though, I feel you deep in my heart…”

    Happy tears fell from Anara’s eyes and gently wiped them away, Anara pulling her down into a kiss. They rolled over onto their sides and just enjoyed being together again, after having been torn apart as much as they had.

    ———————

    to be continued

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    Comments

    1. They have love for each other but will ANARA be able to keep the green -eyed monster at bay when she faces KES’ first love? KES realized that ANARA killed out of love for her.Tomorrow is a new day but what comes with it remains to be seen.Where is THALLA?

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