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    Beyond My Knowing, chapter 8

    When Kes awoke the next morning, she felt fingers trailing through her hair… She opened her eyes and met Anara’s nearly unseeing pale red eyes looking back into hers. The look in them took her breath away a little. ”Anara…” She spoke.

    Anara shook her head and smiled a little. ”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been…” She started to apologize, laying down beside her.

    ”No, it’s alright…” Kes hastened to reassure her, turning onto her side to face her. ”Only…” She touched her face. ”Why were you…?” She asked softly.

    ”I was trying to imagine… what you looked like.” Anara told her, though Kes had the feeling her sleeping companion wasn’t being completely honest.

    ”Is… is that all?” Kes had to ask, though she wasn’t at all convinced it was smart for her to press on.

    ”…No…” Anara spoke, turning over to lay on her back and gaze sightlessly up at the ceiling.

    ”…Then what?” Kes asked.

    ”I… you… desire me. My sight is… but it’s… it’s obvious to see…” She admitted softly. Left unsaid was that maybe Anara thought that was the reason Kes was doing what she was for her and her children. And… there might be some truth to that, but it wasn’t the main reason… just the main reason why she liked sharing her bed so much. Which maybe was bad enough, now that she was really thinking about it in terms of what Anara might think of her for it.

    ”Oh…” Was all Kes could get herself to say. She felt shame and dread close around her heart like a hand was gripping it…

    ”It’s… for many other races, I know, it’s common enough… Many times, it’s even what’s normal and expected… Not for my people, but…” Anara trailed off.

    ”What… what is it like for your people?” Kes found herself asking, hoping to forestall what she thought might be coming.

    ”It… doesn’t happen. With men, yes, it can – there is no taboo against it and it’s usually accepted. With women… if it does happen, the women who do it would know better than to let anyone know of it.” She told her. ”I… that is to say, I never considered… but…”

    ”It’s alright… and… I should have told you that I felt this way before… before I shared a bed with you like this…” Kes admitted, embarrassed and guilty.

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