Bette got into bed and turned towards the wall. The morning would be difficult and embarrassing for Tina. She had to stop thinking of Tina, Jodi would get into bed next to her in a minute, Jodi, Jodi, Jodi. That kiss with Tina. The feeling of her soft, delicate hands against her skin and through her hair, their lips gently reconnecting as they had done so many times before, that explosion of feelings it awakened in her as she realised as she had always known, that she loved Tina, but maybe Tina still loved her too. It was too much, it was too fucking much for her. Jodi climbed into bed next to her.
“Hey. I’m sorry about the Helen thing.”
Jodi rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry because I trust you, I still maintain she was trying to hit on you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous Bette” The condescension in Jodi’s eyes flared Bette’s anger.
“You know what, fuck you! You should apologise to me, you should have left with me when I asked you too, I was upset and you ignored me!”
“Grow up Bette, we’re not attached at the hip, I was having fun and I wasn’t going to leave just because you got in one of your temperamental huffs!”
“Jesus fucking Christ! I’m so supportive of you, I’m battling away for you in work” Jodi then cut Bette off
“I don’t want you to fight my battles for me, let me fight them on my own, stop being so fucking controlling!!!”
“You know what, fuck you!” Bette got up out of bed.
“Great, go sleep on the sofa you immature child!” Jodi throw Bette’s pillow at her, and turned her head away, ending their conversation, and hiding the tears that had started to fall.

Bette marched out into the living room, enraged, only to have her anger dismantled by the sight of Tina lying on the sofa. She stood debating for a second as to what she should do. The couch was L shaped, she could just sleep on the bit Tina wasn’t lying on. As she lay down, her head mere centimetres from Tina’s, she realised that this may not have been the best idea. Tina stirred, moving her head even closer to Bette’s. instinctively, unable to resist, Bette leaned over and brushed her lips against Tina’s. Tina’s hand reached up and swatted Bette away.
“Don’t kiss me, no, not allowed, only want her to kiss me” Tina’s drunken slurs caused Bette to recoil, ashamed and hurt. She lay in the darkness, now ready to burst into tears from her fight with Jodi and that stupid last move, when she noticed Tina’s quiet sobbing.
“What’s wrong?” Bette’s voice, choked with emotion, came out all husky.
“This was my house, I was here, it was me, and now she’s in there with her and I have to be here and she gets to be there.”
“Who?”
“Bette”
“What about Bette?” She could once again feel her heart thumping wildly inside her.
“Bette is mine. Mine, she’s me. She’s my first and forever and last. And that kiss, it was ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmazing, but I cant have her, she loves Jodi, she doesn’t want to break up with Jodi. She doesn’t want me. I love her, but she doesn’t want me. Its my fault cas I hurt her, cas I ran away because I was so angry and so stupid.” Tina lowered her head and began to cry properly, full on tears running down her face.
“T, T, don’t cry” Bette put her hand under Tina’s chin and raised her head so they were again face to face. “I’m right here” She gently wiped Tina’s tears as her crying subsided. Tina moved her hand up and placed it in Bette’s.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so..” Bette interlaced her fingers in Tina’s, squeezed her hand and then brought her index finger to Tina’s lip, hushing her.
“Don’t worry about that, just forget it” As she looked into Tina’s eyes she could see the tears beginning to form again. “T please don’t cry”
“I’m sorry I cant help it, I just I cant.” Bette watched, the pain on Tina’s face too much for her, so she let go of her hand, stood up and lay down next to her. She wrapped her arms around Tina, noticing how cold she was. She felt Tina’s whole body relax, as she nuzzled her head into Bette’s collarbone. Bette lay there, knowing she would have to break the embrace, but feeling physically unable to. She kissed Tina’s forehead and then realised Tina had passed out again, and wondered whether she would remember any of it in the morning.