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A Deeper Song, post 9
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“I’m not a woose, Tina, Bette was right. I used you to get back at Bette when I first came to town. Peggy loved her and for that I wanted to strip her of everything and I did.”
“So it was all an act?” Tina was hurt now.
“I came to care for you but honestly; it started with wanting to hurt Bette. She saw through me from the first moment we laid eyes on one another and I never forgave her. I used you as a weapon against her.”
Tina was silent for quite some time after Helena’s admission.
“I understand if you don’t want to hang out with me after all.” Helena said breaking the silence that was becoming uncomfortable. “I have one more confession to make before you decide what you want to do.”
“I don’t know how much more I can take.” Tina answered weakly. Suspicion and confirmation were two different things. She knew that from very painful experience.
“Winnie told me a few years ago that she went to Bette trying to enlist her help in the custody battle and that Bette refused to help her. Bette apparently agreed with Winnie that I was slime but that even slime had a right to see their children. She refused to let her feelings about you seeing someone else be used as a weapon to punish me because she was the one who had hurt you. She saw me for what I was just a callous, opportunist who you wouldn’t have given the time of day if she hadn’t hurt you but she wasn’t knowingly going to do you any further damage.”
“‘Fuck!!” The word just popped out of Tina’s mouth. Bette loved her. She really loved her. Tina had no idea. They had never talked those brief months they were back together after Angelica was born.
Enraged at Bette’s infidelity Tina had just lashed out. She had all this hurt pain and anger that she could not express in words. She wanted Bette so badly, loved her so deeply, but pushed her away. Bette had betrayed her. Bette had let another woman touch her. That was her private domain. She put up with her passion for art, her drive to succeed even though it robbed them of precious time together; all those things she could deal with. She could share Bette on every level but sexually? No, that was intolerable.
Secretly, it made her crazy even now to know that Bette was carrying another woman’s child. She was carrying her wife’s child. She had not technically been unfaithful to Tina. Privately, and inspite of her outward display of cordiality to Rosanna, Tina admitted that she never considered Bette belonged to anyone else but her. Bette was hers; first, last and forever even living apart they were joined not just by their shared parentage of Angelica, no by a much deeper union of two souls. After much internal dispute Tina resolved her ambivalence in her usual silent way. She would love this new life because he was Bette’s.
She had replayed the night they had conceived their son over and over in her mind. It was a bittersweet memory that she did not have of Angelica’s conception, which she had carried out behind Bette’s back. The idea of Bette pregnant with her child turned her on like nothing else. Just the thought of making love with Bette carrying their child made her hotter than when she was pregnant with Angelica.
“Tina, I’ll talk to you another time. I hope that sometime really soon you will let me explain further. I’ll cover for you tonight even though I don’t know why I’m covering anything.” Helena ended on a slightly confrontational tone.
Tina instantly responded. “Not only does this confession not get you out of tonight, you will drive and you will be paying for dinner and drinks tonight. Pick me up at seven.” Tina ended the call.
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So good. More, please. PPS. This story is addictive.
interesting…so is the meaningless sex gonna be with Helena or some fresh piece of meat?? PPS!!
Don’t let Tina do it Bette will know they can still read each other. If she was married and happy and still felt that close to Tina to warn Helena off she will know if Tina has sex with anyone else.
This is a first for me AllyE, I had to read this a second time because in some way I missed Tina’s intent. And with Helena’s admission, I was just blown away that Bette would have threatened Helena in that way and Helena understood that she meant every word and Tina finally understood just how much Bette did love her.
Sorry Kelika, i had just finished reading AllyE’s story and put her name in the post instead of yours.
Okay Kelika. First, I love the name Nadine; and pray tell does a place called Nadine’s exist, and if so, where in the world is it.
So, meaningless sex? I hope Tina uses condoms. She doesn’t need to give Bette anything once they get back together. Nice to see Helena being honest. Also glad to see she nobody’s fool and know to stay away from Tina. Don’t know why Tina was offended since she was using Helena as well. Great job, but can we get a little more interaction between Bette and Tina that’s not going to appointments. Now that Bette’s getting Bette and is at least 8 months pregnant, can we get some dialog between these two that hints about what’s on their minds. Thanks K.
Meaningless sex…….mmmmmmmm! Can’t wait to see where this goes!! PPS!
I like this chapter alot..its good seeing a fiesty Tina.
I think the mindless sex, if any, will be with anyone but Helena because Helena (having tangled with Bette before) doesn’t appear to have a death wish.
Oooh, burn! The idea of Bette just giving Helena a look and a shake of the head, to warn her off Tina is hilarious. I also liked the background to Bette and Helena’s “relationship”. Tina does need to find a way to cool off though, but meaningless sex with a stranger (Helena seems to have a healthy dose of self-preservation) probably isn’t the way to do it. Excellent, kelika, loved this chapter. Post more soon.
Wow, this story has made me comment after being a silent reader for years! I look forward to each new post. I’m captured by your approach to your stories. Look forward to your next post.
loving the story K; i like the idea of Tina and mindless sex with Bette!!!!!!! way to go Bette putting the hard word on Helena. look 4ward to next chapter.
You gave a very clear rationale for Tina’s fury. The series gave us an inkling of what made her so furious – she gave up so much ground in their relationship in return for the right to have Bette exclusively. Then, she lost that. The bitterness of the betrayal was tough for her to bear. Absent the goofy clothes and Psycho Jenny, S2 was pretty intense and powerful. Bette and Tina brought it. Thanks for explaining it further.
I think the sex will end up being with Bette. I think Tina is going to try to make Bette jealous, hence the need to stop by Bette’s place first.
Kelika, Thak you so much for this awesome adventure. After all of the misery that Bette and Tina have inflected on each other over the past it was interesting to see Tina’s reaction to Bette’s constant protection of her. Yes, it has angered Tina and this reaction is part of her denial process. I only hope that Helena manages to knock some sense into Tina before Tina oversteps the mark and does something she will regret when her fury subsides. Tina needs to talk to Bette about this relevation and work it through. Please make it so soon. Many thanks for your hard work and effort in bringing this delight tale to the screen and your readers. Your Loyal Fan.
God, I know how Tina feels, unfortunately. Love Bette’s over-protectedness, shows she still really loves Tina.
This is so good!