Bette lunged for the gun. Paxton whipped his head up but his reflexes were too slow, Bette grabbed his gun arm with both hands, wrenching it from him. Pax transformed. With a cry he grabbed her hair and pulled her down. He put a leg up and pinned her down. He grabbed the gun away from her; it slipped and was now a good 2 feet away. He punched her. Hard. White light took over her sight; she let out a cry and felt blood run from her nose down her neck. Paxton hit her again, backhanding her and whipping her head around. He was on her chest, and Bette couldn’t breathe. “Pax…..fuck”. He put his hands around her neck and started to squeeze. Bette saw lights…felt her gurgling. The world was going black. But he had no control over her hands, she remembered them through the fog over hew own coming death. She reached down in one last attempt and almost ripped his balls off. With an animal scream Pax let go and rolled limp on Bette, whimpering. She pushed him off and coughed, coughing and coughing and coughing. She felt drool pouring out, mixing with the blood. She couldn’t move, Pax was still rolling around. Bette regained her last bit of consciousness and grabbed the gun. Then she turned around. And shot Pax with every last bullet that was left. Then the world went black.

            The police found them a few minutes later. Bette was passed out. Pax riddled with holes and his hands still holding his genitals. They took her to the emergency, and she woke up from the lights. Bandages were around her neck, Pax apparently tore a tendon in her neck but Bette did not feel the pain that much, they filled her with pain medication. No one was allowed in until the police interviewed her. She hardly remembered what happened….she was so blurry and sore. But she gave them a full statement and was left alone with her thoughts.

            They were horrible, those thoughts. She had killed someone, killed ex. He would have killed her if she didn’t…but still. The full impact was beginning to dawn on her. She felt numb though, her brain and body were numb. She hardly noticed Tina coming in to visit. She must have convinced the doctors, it was only family that was allowed. Bette didn’t acknowledge her presence; she lay still and ignored Tina who was holding her hand. Bette couldn’t talk, didn’t want to. She tuned out Tina. She just couldn’t do anything anymore it seemed. She could feel herself shutting down, shutting Tina out. She was withdrawing fast into herself. Nothing was going to make her feel better it seemed. She was in her own private hell. Nothing could be worse than this. She was caught in the double hook; she read that sheila Watson book…what was the quote?  ‘He doesn’t know you can’t catch the glory on a hook and hold onto it. That when you fish for the glory you catch the darkness too. That if you hook twice the glory you hook twice thee fear.’ Tina was her glory…and this shit was the fear. She was in fear, of everything and especially of herself. She didn’t trust herself anymore. She didn’t trust the world. She was spinning down so hard she couldn’t catch the dge, that edge that holds a human upright.

TBC