“And I don’t?”

“Yeah, but it’s a different kind of safety.”

“Oh, I understand,” Bette says, her voice sounding bitter. “He gives you the safety of a heterosexual lifestyle, acceptance by society, less facing foolish bigotry. I can’t believe this – all of your friends are gay!”

“Please don’t take it personal, Bette.”

“Then how am I supposed to take it?” I hate to see her so hurt, but I can’t break up with Gary. It’s too scary and it’s not fair to him.

“Please don’t do this. I have to think about what happened between us last night.”

“Well, if I am not mistaken, you were kind of the one who came onto me!”

“You offered the massage.” I know it’s weak and unfair.

“As a friend, to relax you. And I mean… face it, Tina, you’re hot as hell and I’m only human, but I didn’t touch you in explicit places because I wasn’t sure. And you didn’t protest either. And then the not wearing pj’s thing, what did you expect?”

“I know – you’re right, Bette, I provoked it. But I don’t know for sure if this is what I want.”

“Why can’t you break up with him.”

“I really care for him! He’s been treating me well and -”

“Oh fuck it, Tina! It’s because he’s a guy and I’m a girl. It’s so fucking unfair, how can you do this to me? You know how I feel!” The tears are now streaming down her face. I lean closer to hug her, only half realizing I’m still naked.

“Don’t touch me!” She shouts out.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door and it slightly opens. Kirsten heads appears.

“Bette, are you – oh shit I’m so sorry!” She closes the door again after seeing me with her, without any clothes. I feel embarrassed. I’ve met Kirsten, and she seems so nice, and I always wanted her to like me.

“Tina,” Bette says. She swallows. “I want you to leave now. Get your shit together and let me know when you’ve decided what you’re going to do. I don’t want you to touch me, I don’t want you near me, not even as a friend, as long as you don’t know what you want.”

“But Bette-“

“Get out!”

She’s really cross with me and let’s face it, she has the right to. I am crying, I want to hold her so much, but at the same time I want to get out of here.

I pull my clothes on without having washed myself – I’ll do that later. I go down the stairs, glad that I don’t run into Kirsten or Melvin on my way. Once outside, I dial Shanes number. I want to call Gary, but he thinks I’m with Shane. And besides, she’s the only one who won’t be at school yet, skipping homeroom as usual.

“Hey – are you at school?”

“No, why? Aren’t you?”

“Can you please pick me up? I’m at Bette’s, I’ll explain things later.”

“Tina, are you okay?”

“Just pick me up, please.”