Do I like Tina? Yes, as a friend. Or more? FUCK. Why does she even confuse me? Focus on Carmen! Right.

I get out of my bed when my cellphone rings. To my surprise, I see it’s Gary. I gave him my number the other night, I don’t even remember why.

“Hello?” I ask carefully. For some weird reason, it feels like I’ve done something wrong. It’s like I expect him to be mad at me and I expect me to care about that.

“Hi!” He says in a cheerful tone. I’m surprised, Tina and him seemed really close the other day and I kinda had figured she would tell him. But then again, why would it make him mad? They’re not a couple, not as far as I know. They can be now, you haven’t seen Tina since the kiss. You’ve been avoiding her. But they weren’t a couple at the moment of the kiss, so he has nothing to be mad about.

Maybe he wants to warn me or something, he wants to tell me to keep away from Tina. But then why does he sound cheerful?

I’m so busy thinking all of this I don’t notice he has continued talking.

“Bette? Bette, are you there?” he sounds worried now.

“Yeah,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you asked me?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, wait, you sure?”

“Yes!” He sounds like my mother – if I would have a mother, that is.

“Okay. Listen, Tina tells me you’re a really good guitar player. Why didn’t you tell me the other night? Anyway, as you know, I’m forming a band and I only need a guitar player now. We have a name already. I would write the songs, but I’m not that good with words and it would be great to have someone who is. And I could use some help on the music as well, you know, to keep things fresh. So, Tina tells me you played her a song and it was really wonderful. So I would ask you if you like to join the band?”

I am startled by his question. It’s been a really good time since I have been asked anything like this – in fact, I never have been asked anything like this. People don’t like me. People think I’m this weird kid who is so antisocial.