"Hey baby girl, the usual?" asked Kit as Bette made her way to the counter.

"Please" said Bette, deep in thought. "How long has Helena been here?" she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"An hour or so" Kit replied "been nursing that same coffee the whole time"

"Then let me get her another" Bette smiled

Bette walked over to Helena, her back facing her as she placed both coffees on the table. "Mind if I join you?" she asked

"Huh? Oh, hi Bette. Yeah, okay, although I’m probably not the best company right now"

"What’s up?"

"Oh the usual – no job, no home, no prospects" said Helena glumly. Bette’s stomach tightened, she so desperately wanted to reach out to Helena, make all her troubles go away, make her feel better about herself again.  "Drama queen abilities still in tact though" Helena added with a small smile.

They sat in silence for a few moments; both lost in their own very different thoughts.

"So what’s really the matter?" asked Bette

"I may be a drama queen, but I’ve already told you what’s really the matter" Helena replied, a little more brusquely than she would have liked, but why couldn’t anyone understand what she was going through. Bette had become incredibly supportive of her over recent months, a close friend and confidante and she appreciated it, but sometimes she felt nobody really understood just how much her life had changed and just how much she’d lost.

Bette was used to this kind of response from Helena lately. It hurt her, but she knew it would pass. Always the same whenever they met up, awkward for a few moments, Helena being aloof, then as quickly as it started, Helena would relax in her company and they would enjoy their time together.

"You have a home" Bette said quietly "I thought you liked living with Alice"

"Its not my home though, is it?" asked Helena, her voice almost breaking "I love Alice, I really do. She’s the one thing that I can take out of this mess my mother has left me in; I wouldn’t be without her. But, I’m sleeping on her sofa, living in her front room, I don’t have any privacy….nowhere to feel sorry for myself" Helena added with a small smile as she realised she was getting herself in a state. "I’ve been thinking maybe its time I went back to New York. My mother might not want to help me out, but I have old colleagues and some people who owe me a few favours, I’m sure I’d be able to get a job sorted pretty quickly. And I’d be near to the kids. And other than Alice, what’s really keeping me here?" On seeing Bette’s face fall, Helena quickly added "and you and my other friends of course, but its not like I have any real ties here. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, today has probably just cemented my thoughts a bit"

Bette felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach. She knew her relationship with Helena would probably never get beyond friendship, but whilst they could spend time together, whilst they became closer, whilst Helena was only a phone call away, she had hope.

"Oh, right" said Bette, still reeling from Helena’s admission "have you spoken to Alice about it?"

"Not yet. Its just, I, well, I got another rejection letter today and its made me think about things a bit more clearly. I seem to be lurching from one crisis to the next – like I said, no job, no home, no prospects. I have to do something radical to change that or I’ll be living off pity for the rest of my life. And although I might have nothing right now, I still have my pride" said Helena with confidence.

Bette wanted desperately to wrap her arms round Helena, tell her that together they could do something radical to make Helena feel wanted, needed and useful again. She wanted to tell her that whilst she may no longer have material things, she had something money couldn’t buy. How when she was feeling low, one smile form Helena would make the day worthwhile. How when she was missing her old life, thoughts of Helena would give her hope for the future. How Helena made her certain she was ready to love again. How she had made her see the world differently, make new priorities and become a better person. How she had fallen madly in love with her.

Instead Bette nodded.