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A Little Chat
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“You’ll love it. It’s about chatrooms.”
“Chatrooms.”
“Yeah, you know, Internet chatrooms.”
“So you’re looking for a mawo date?” Tina slurred over the gender-based words, not really sure what
“How so?”
“Well, on the Internet, you can be anyone.”
“And you are?” Tina knew Angelica was getting tired of the spoon, but hoped it would last another few minutes.
“A dude.”
“Yeah. I’m a bored pappy, looking for some desperate housewife to slip in a hot beef injection.”
Tina could feel her heart rate picking up. Surely
“Sorry, I guess I should watch the euphemisms around the impressionable.”
While ‘hot beef injection’ was nothing compared to the language that had recently been used around her daughter, Tina was happy that Alice mistook her reaction for that, rather than realizing what it was really for.
It took a moment before Tina felt she might sound calm. “And this is work?”
“Sure. I’m checking out the online cheating scene. It’ll be a great article. Best chatrooms for cybersex or something.”
Tina wasn’t really sure what to say. Except that as she held her daughter, she suddenly felt very, very exposed.
“I’ve got a great name, too.”
“Really,” Tina responded, her voice flat.
“Yeah. Daddyof2. Housewives really dig the fatherly type.”
“They do.” The words came out, even through the bile Tina could feel rising in her throat.
Leave. Flee. But would
“Al, I’ve got to go, nap time soon.”
“Right.”
“Uh, interesting story.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Funny part?”
“Yeah. Funny part. The woman I was getting the most action from.”
Tina nodded.
“Her name was Foxy. Funny, huh? Very retro.”
Somehow, that was a relief. Tina forced a smile. “Funny, Al.”
“But just as I was going to sign off, this really desperate-type woman was on. She had your name.”
“My name?” Tina squeaked out.
“Your middle name. Lindsey.”
“Yeah, funny. Nap. Gotta go.” At this point, Tina knew nothing was going to keep her from the door. Not even the fully awake and fussy Angelica in her arms.
Back at home, Tina put Angelica in a bouncer. She looked at the laptop, and quickly signed on deleting the account. Erasing all evidence.
She looked at the machine, and knew that this wasn’t the end; that tonight, she would come up with a new name. After all, it was the internet. On the Internet, she could be anyone. Maybe next time, her name would be
(the end.)
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I admit it. I laughed even though last night I was yelling something along the lines of, “WHAT THE HELL?!” at the TV.
now that was just too fucking funny… god i would love to see that on the show… thanks i really needed that after the show last night… keep them coming
Very clever. Glad you wrote for us again.
After watching Tina type Yes…, I wanted to puke. I wanted to swear off the L Word forever. Unfortunately, I would need a patch to take away my addiction to this show, so I will be looking into the price of a new TV, as I am sure I will be putting a f*cking chair through the screen of the present one. Thanks for the spin.
Terrific! Wouldn’t this be funny if true! But I doubt that IC has that kind of sense of humor…..I also liked in your last chapter when you commented on why Tina’s child was not named Angelica. Also terrific.
Very nice twist!! As I think about it, Daddyof2’s macking skills did sound like Al~LOL! This would be an excellent way to get Tina to “WAKE UP!!!”. But, even in your story, she is hardpressed to continue, of course with a new name.
Oh yeah!! This site is SO much better than the actual show. Pseud and Fareast should be hired as the new writers. That way the show could actually stay on the air another year or two. Great job, pseud!
Great Pseud . Funny as heck. Would love to see that on the show. keep up the good work
Great Pseud . Funny as heck. Would love to see that on the show. keep up the good work
i swear, it was so freaking funny and it would be so much better on a show…and i did almost puke at the end of s2 and screamed at my tv as well…this was great, somehow it took nastiness and negativity out of the situation, even though the ending in your story suggested that tina was going to continue her on-line explorations…thanks
I didn’t really want to end it as I did, but it seemed the most true to the story I’d developed. (That’s writer-speak for “I couldn’t think of another ending.) Thanks, all.
Great little one-shot. The one thing I was thinking during that scene besides the obvious was I can’t believe that Tina would go for the somewhat lame and not very exciting pickup lines from the dude.
Oh Thank You. That was priceless.
that was funny. Wish it was really Alice that she was talking to.
Count on you to bring the comic relief to what could become a really desperate situation! Thank you for livening up my day! Would that this were so!
Very clever…Alice being Daddyof2. Actually, I liked that Tina found the internet…it could lead to some very interesting plots and twists. I especially liked how she looked over her shoulder…guilt, guilt, guilt.
That was really funny, sad, but funny none the less. The internet is scary place you never who is out there.
Interesting – wonder where you will go with this next. It will probably be a much better storyline than the one we will watch play out on TLW.
Last night all I could yell was is that Tina doing that.WTF. Loved your story, That should tell Tina its a small world out there/ thanks
Oh, my, gosh. I just laughed my head off; I really thought for sure the one would be Lindsey and not Foxy! Your writing continues to be bright spark in this hideous season. Thank you.
haha good times psued!!
That was pretty fucking funny. You know on the show I didn’t mind Tina sniffing around on the internet so much as her guiltily sneaking around about it. The naughty girl.
Very interesting spin on this one. I really enjoyed this! But Sunday night I sure was not very happy with Tina during the last 30 seconds of the show…. Thank you for writing.
I agree with the others, I sure would love to see this (Alice) end up being the daddyof2. The ending left me with such diappointment. I think you too should submit your version to IC.
it would be my hope that you would do your version after every one of these painful scenes and put the spin on it that you are so good in doing. this was great and thanks!
Pseud,Hallelujah!You had me in tears of laughter.I loved the total irreverancy of this story.Thanks for a lighter moment in all things L.Your Loyal Fan.
Dear pseud, Don’t know how I missed this from last winter. But I do know that I loved your Plan B series and I miss reading your stories. Please come back to us when you get a chance!