Bette couldn’t hold her tears back any more, she let them run like the river of water as they came down her cheeks. She knew she had just hurt the love of her life, by telling her, that she needed some time to get her thought back together – and especially now with Tina moving to Italy eighter for good or just for a period of time.

As Bette was standing at the door in her own thought her phone starting ringing. Bette heard it, closed the door and went to answer. “Hallo…..”

“Hey Bette…………I just called to remind you of your appointment with me today”, Carmen said. “Ohh yes of course – I didn’t forget it……..don’t worry”, Bette managed to say but Carmen could hear there was something in Bette’s voice that didn’t add up. “Bette are you okey?”, Carmen asked concerned. “Yes – I’m fine………………….no, I’m not”, Bette startet to cry. “Bette do you want me to come over so we can talk privately?”, Carmen asked. “Yes – I guess that might be a good idea”, Bette managed to say.

“Okey – I’ll be there in a hour…….”, Carmen said before hanging up.

Bette went inside, but she felt like a failure inside for kicking Tina out. She knew deep down inside, that Tina was the only person she would ever let in and yet she told her to go away and she felt terrible about it – but she had to. She needed to find herself before letting Tina back in. It was not fair to Tina, Tina needed her own space with Charlott since they were moving to Italy.

 After spending a few hours with Carmen, Bette startet to feel better and more relaxed. “So Bette…..do you feel any better about yourself after spending a few hours in my company”, Carmen asked.

Bette was sitting in her own thoughts when Carmen asked her the question. “Hallo!!!!…..any one home?”, Carmen asked. “Ohh sorry……I was somewhere else Carmen…..sorry”, Bette said silently.

“Ohh I see…..you only have one thing on your mind…..let me see….it must be TINA”, Carmen joked.

“I fucked up”, Bette said while closing her eyes. “What did you do now?”, Carmen asked concerned.

“I ended it with Tina……I’m so in over my head Carmen”, Bette said. “And why is that?”, Carmen asked. “Jesus Carmen………..I just ended it with Tina….and I don’t know what to do……I love her to much”, Bette cried.

“Did you tell her that?”, Carmen asked.

“Yes – sort of……but I also told her that I need to get my mind straight, before I could go on with my life…………and I want her in my life, Carmen…………….she makes me feel whole….she is my heart and I can’t breathe with out her”, Bette sobbed.

“Okey…….now we have come this far – why don’t you tell me what else is bothering you Bette?”, Carmen asked very carmly. “I have these nightsmares again…..from the assignment. It is like a movie in slow motion running through my head and I can’t get rid of them. They just showed up when I was in the shower this morning”, Bette said with her eyes closed.

“And you couldn’t tell Tina about this?”, Carmen asked carefully. “There is no reason for Tina to get involved in my nightmares, Carmen……you knows how it is, when you get your love ones involved”, Bette said. “Yes, tell me about it”, Carmen mumbled.