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    A Night in the D — Chapter 11

    Story written on December 15, 2005 by luvrgirl.
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    76 votes, average: 3.00 out of 576 votes, average: 3.00 out of 576 votes, average: 3.00 out of 576 votes, average: 3.00 out of 576 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5 (76 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 20
    Words: 1752
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=58309
    Author Notes:

    Little girl lost.

     

    A countenance that is sleepless, and anxious, and distressed. And so filled with desire that you could barely recognize it in the mirror the night before.

     

    This thought, so deeply symbolic, kicked the rote one out of line. Bette closed her eyes and convulsed in a way she never did. “No ***** way,” she whined softly, knowing the tears were going to fall and she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t bear self-pity, literally, and she couldn’t bear this picture of herself, sitting alone in the dark, crying inexplicably for all that was lost to her. She felt like a small child and hated the feeling. Hated the feeling that Philly was outside her window, that perhaps her mother was down the hall outside her door, that she would, at any minute, hear her father’s car break the silence of early morning.

     

    Hated that none of it was true and that all of it was. That absence was so fully present as to feel and be, in all ways that mattered, real.

     

    Bette exhaled loudly, wiping away tears, and the gesture alone brought fresh ones. I’m pathetic, she thought to herself. She wiped her eyes again, holding her head up now, willing herself to be calm. She breathed in deeply but the tears were in the way, and when she heard herself sniffle, the sound was so profoundly small and childlike that it took her breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping sightlesslessness would block sound. But it didn’t.

     

    Self-hate wanted to enter, and would. She knew she couldn’t keep it out. But she also couldn’t deny an odd feeling of self-preservation that wanted to slip in sideways, to comfort her. In that moment where the strength of her I abandoned her, another I, standing off to the side, whispered softly, as if to a child. “You’re so sad.”

     

    And that sound was the last one. She convulsed again and slid back under the covers, easing onto her stomach against cold sheets and burying her face in the pillow. She lay motionless for minutes, accompanied by nothing but the sound of her own breathing and the steady wish that the dark block out all reality. And thus it was with a certain sense of wonder that she finally raised her head to the chill air and noted, as if for the first time, that in fact there was no darkness.

     

    The pink sky was bright. It lit the room. It was a sky unlike any she’d ever seen except while growing up, lying in her bedroom at home, with her mother down the hall, and her father in the driveway, preparing to leave for work. It was a sky she associated with the safety of childhood, before one knew anything of abandonment, before a car starting could mean anything other than a return later in the day.

     

    And that pink sky, that bright light splayed across her room, that particular memory of childhood, of warmth and cold all at once, only came in winter. Because it only meant one thing.

     

    Snow.

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    Comments

    12. Have just started reading this story and now have to go catch up with earlier chapters! Love your writing – thought your final para was poetical- can almost smell the snow.

    13. Tks for the update…Now…let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Just to mention a line from the song…a happy song and let’s get them happy together…maybe blizzard would be better and everyone stuck in the hotel…after Tina’s replacement came of course!!! Post soon pls

    15. I am so grateful that you are directing your enormous writing talents to this fan fiction. We all – every single reader here – must have collectively done a lot of good to see writing and storytelling of this caliber in the context of our beloved tv characters. Many thanks. Take us where you will, how you will. We may be heartbroken but we won’t be disappointed by any story that you choose to tell.

    18. Snowwwww!! Yeeeahhhhh! No flights are coming or going, right? Delayed and deliriously happy to be stuck in the D with T! =) Great writing. I am simply ravenous for more! Post soon, please. Thanks for writing for our enjoyment!

    20. Dang. This is the first time in awhile I’ve wished for snow. As a kid I loved it because DUHHHHHHHH big snow = no school. But as an adult it means sweeping and shoveling porches and driveways and sliding on ice on the road. But this is fanfiction world so bring it on! Maybe they can go outside and build a snowman named, oh gee I don’t know, Parson Brown? ;)

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