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    A Night in the D — Chapter 20

    Story written on December 22, 2005 by luvrgirl.
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    69 votes, average: 3.51 out of 569 votes, average: 3.51 out of 569 votes, average: 3.51 out of 569 votes, average: 3.51 out of 569 votes, average: 3.51 out of 5 (69 votes, average: 3.51 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 13
    Words: 1963
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=58509
    Author Notes:

    Landscaping.

     

    Bette knew Tina was younger than her, certainly not as professionally accomplished (that’s an understatement, she frowned), and clearly her life was the opposite of Bette’s in pace, in sophistication, in aesthetic appeal. Bette wanted to chastise herself for even having these categories, but in truth they had been effective over the years as a filter. The aesthetic landscape was everything to her, and somehow she couldn’t see Tina fitting into hers. Except awkwardly. She also wondered about the nature of a landscape so essential to her, and yet unaccommodating of Tina, who she kept accommodating. What did it mean if Tina, who’d given her the idea of essence in the first place, by oozing some heady mix of it, couldn’t truly appeal? Was the appeal, then, just the delicious breaking of a personal taboo-against working class hookups?

     

    Alice was fond of the phrase, fond of describing the wish-fulfillment fantasies of accomplished professional women who prefer to remain unattached but elicit an especial thrill from tweaking the nipples of working stiffs. “Love of the proletariat,” Alice had smirked, sarcastically. Alice is such a bullshitter, Bette thought. But she was always feeling for the pulse of the collective body around her, an instinct Bette both marveled and scoffed at. “You’re a virtual fount of half-formed observations,” she’d once half-observed. But some part of me is a bullshitter too, Bette thought. Just like Alice.

     

    And something about Tina was like Alice too. She wasn’t “out there” like Alice, bubbling up at you constantly (in a not undelightful, if sometimes overbearing, way, Bette noted), but Tina was out there nonetheless. Quietly, compellingly, by way of a certain unmasked authenticity. Someone who wore masks (another appeal, Bette thought), but not the kind that hid her completely. Tina was, basically, a completely unintended tease. Bette had seen it at once. The fragility behind the solid glass exterior that she, Bette, kept walking into as if to confirm it was actually there. And each time it was. She hit against it like relief, this cute, flirty, warm thing she could take to her room and love, for hours even, the two of them, together, bearing powerless witness.

     

    Hmmmpowerful, Bette thought, rolling her eyes. And then I would leave, somewhat inspired by the idea but with imperative intact-to return to my life and what? Start doing that more often? Manifesting love for the proletariat? A new convert to the religious experience of ***** girls who are beneath you? Having them beneath you, just to feel the rough edges of difficult experience, of ambition undone? Bette felt the urge to go on and on, even as she shuddered at the thought. Feeling pained. And guilty. And confused.

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    Comments

    3. You know, it never even dawned on me that class could be an issue here. Bette is used to being pretty high class and desiring intimate contact with someone not on the same level is probably a first for her. Is it fair? No, but it’s a part of some people’s reality. Ugh I think I’ll have to read this again when I get home because it took me like 5 tries to get through it while here at work. Too many distractions. Oh by the way, I’m flattered that you ganked my “sensual and loving…” thought. ;)

    4. bette is thinking too much…can it just be that it’s her and tina and there’s undeniable attraction between them and something more and just go from there? i would like a sweeter story myself for B&T…thanks, this chapter was great

    9. The musings of Bette’s mind is like a maze. It’s like she’s attempting to talk herself out of this desired moment. She wants to want Tina and all that comes with her, but she’s trying to talk herself out of wanting her. It’s quite amusing how you will fight yourself for what you know in your heart you really want or need. Love the multi-layers both Tina and Bette are revealing…please continue.

    11. I love this story. It really is thought provoking. I love the complexity you’ve added by guiding us through the minds of these two women. I really hate there is this “class” issue for Bette. It makes her seem somewhat shallow….I understand it or rather how it might be an issue for someone of her “stature” but it is bothersome nonetheless that there are people in this world that will let something so petty as economic backgrounds deprive them of happiness. Perhaps I am just naive and wish to believe all things are perfect in this world when they aren’t or maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, but I believe love comes in all different packages and I hope Bette can see that before it’s too late.

    12. absolutely loved this line: “to not despair at the thought that much of her life was less meaningful than she’d intended”. I think we can all relate to that on some level or at various points in our lives. Your writing and writing style are extremelly thought provoking. Thanks

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