“Tee, you’re bringin’ me down. Really,” Alice huffed. “How do you even know you don’t like women? Answer me that.”

            Tina paused, locking eyes with one of her best friends. “I just don’t, Alice. I don’t like women. I don’t get hot thinking about other women, I get hot thinking about dick. It’s that simple. Not everyone is so curious, alright?”

            “Suit yourself! But believe me, Tee. There’s a lot of perks to being with a woman,” Alice continued, looking to the others for support.

            Catching the harsh look from Alice, Dana offered, “Well, with women you don’t have to deal with all the hair!”

            “And they definitely aren’t boring,” Shane added, quirking an eyebrow.

            Tina sighed heavily, focused on aligning the silverware on her napkin, “You guys really aren’t going to let this go are you?”

            All three of them answered at the same time, “Nope.”

            “What will it take for you guys to drop this then?” Tina asked, finally taking a gulp of water and setting the glass back down on the table. She already knew what answer to expect.

            “One night at Milk,” Alice demanded. “All three of us will take you. Play along, and if nothing comes of the night, then we’ll all agree you’re straight as a line and protest no longer.”

            Tina played with her fingers under the table as she mulled it over in her head. Dana, Alice, and Shane sat silently watching Tina, eagerly waiting for the green light. “Fine,” Tina croaked. “But just this one time, okay? After I put up with this for one night, you guys seriously need to back off.”

            The three of them smiled at each other mischievously. “Oh my god this is going to be so fun you guys! Let’s help Tina catch a fine lady for her one night of experimentation!” Alice shouted, raising her glass of lemonade in salute and taking a sip.  

            “Wow, wow,” Shane interjected, lecturing her audience as she leaned forward, “Tina doesn’t need help finding a woman, she just needs guidance as to what to look for in a woman.”

            “Don’t you worry about a thing, Tee! We’ll help you get dressed and make this night worth it!” Alice beamed.

            “Al, I’m not entirely incapable, you know. I can at least dress myself!” Tina cried, growing a little nervous at the prospect of picking up a woman at a club. She wasn’t so sure this was a good idea.

            “Fine, you can dress yourself. But we’ll be there to help you pick what you wear!” Alice retorted. “Tomorrow night, shit’s gonna hit the fan guys!”

            “Al! Please never say that again. It’s disturbing,” Dana quipped.

            “Is not! It’s a common expression, Dana."

            “Well it shouldn’t be,” Dana teased. She reached over and put her hand on Tina’s, “Don’t worry. We’ll make sure you have fun!”

            “Yeah, yeah,” Tina nodded. Just one night.