Carmen P.O.V.

The plane lands and a wave of anxiety comes over me.  I have to do my best not to run into her. It’s sad that after all these years I still can’t even bring myself to say her name.  I didn’t tell my mom that I was coming back tonight so I catch a cab to her house. I use my key to enter the house, go to my room, and lay on my bed.

Mercedes: Carmen mija wake up

I roll over and I look at the clock first. I didn’t even realized that I went to sleep.

Carmen: Hola mami

Mercedes: When did you get back? You hungry? Are you coming back for good. Dígame?

Carmen: Mami quite with the questions I just woke up please.

Mercedes: Come downstairs for breakfast and to see your family. We have missed you Carmencita.

She got up and left. I was happy for that because I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet. I just wanted to visit my family to keep them happy and to meet my niece or nephew. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to stay yet. I went downstairs and was greeted by family with hugs, kisses, food, and more questions. I managed to answer every question without promising anything or giving to much away.

Carmen: What hospital is abuela in?

Mercedes: She isn’t in a hospital mija she is in her room.

Carmen: You told me she was really sick mami.

Mercedes: She is you know there is this bug going around.

Carmen: Did you trick me into coming here?

Mercedes: It isn’t a trick to be around family carmencita. You have been gone enough. Don’t let Chane keep you from your family?

Carmen: Do not mention her name to me ok. I’m going for a walk.

I leave the kitchen in a hurry and I just walk. I don’t know exactly where I am going but when I stop I look up and I’m in front of the planet. All of these memories come fading back to me and I start to walk away really fast. In the process I bump into somebody.

Fuck do you walk much?