It’s my mother or can I even still call her that. She looks just like I remembered her but her age is showing. I feel as if I can’t breathe. Get a hold of yourself Shane. I still can’t breathe and then it all fades to black.

Lily: Shaney come on honey wake up.

I can feel somebody gently rocking me.

Carmen: Baby come on wake up.

I can smell Carmen and I wake up to see her over me touching my head. I look around and there are people huddled over me. What the hell happened?

Lily: Ok, this isn’t a side show attraction give her some room.

At least she still has the same temper. I look around and Shay is in the corner crying. I try to get up but the room spins and I fall back.

Carmen: Shane you have to take it easy ok. You fainted.

I can’t believe I fainted.

Shane: Shay come here.

He comes running over to me. I pull him into a hug and wipe his tears away.

Shane: Don’t cry I’m fine.

Lily: Here is some water.

She hands me the glass and I study her over the glass. She sees me studying her and she studies me back. All these emotions are rushing at me.  I want to hug her, yell at her, tell her what has happened to me, but most of all I want know why. Why did she leave me at the shelter when I was 9? Why couldn’t she just stay with me? I would have loved her flaws and all.

Shane: Why did you leave me?

It comes out harsher than I intended it to but it’s too late now to take it back.

Carmen: Shane

Carmen taps my side and gives me a stern look. I look over to Lily and she is shuffling her foot on the ground as if kicking something invisible. Carmen looks at me.

Shane: She’s nervous. I got that from her.

Lily looks at me and smiles.

Lily: Shane I want to tell you everything so much but I only asked my boss for 15 minutes. That’s not enough time to explain but I will give you some answers now.