“Thank you for helping her.”

“Oh I didn’t do it for you, Shane if I had my way she wouldn’t have her eyes or her tongue. Wherever she has been, it’s been with them. She has answers as to what we are up against, after that she has to leave, I won’t spend the rest of my lifetime with her around me.”

Tell me that I should be surprised by this outburst. Tell me that I’d be blind to see this coming. Tell me to be shocked when Helena shoots either me or Carmen or both in a fit of semi blind rage. Tell me….go on…..The thing is; I should feel bad or something close to it about Helena. But I can’t. I can’t feel anything other than Carmen. Is that a bad thing? Who in the fucking hell am I kidding, and who in the fucking hell am I talking to?

Ok.

“I think we are both becoming deadly serious with this whole Carmen being here business. We need to take a deep breath, calm down and not say or do anything that will jeopardize the stability of those around us. I will admit to using you and I am sure you will admit to using me. But that doesn’t mean that I want Carmen or that she even wants me.”

Ah yes, the lie of mature stability. Yes this makes perfect sense. Perfect mature sense. This is what everyone is always preaching me to be; mature, strong, capable, and honest. Real. Yes that’s what this is. This is in no the dumbest thing I have ever said to a woman I’ve slept with.

“That’s got to the goddamned stupidest thing you have ever said to me Shane. I know it’s just a matter of time before you are back with her. You can’t possibly make me for a moron can you?”

Shit.

“Why are you putting words into my mouth?”

“Why are you lying to me and to yourself? I was just a lapse of reason for you. It only now hit me. You never loved me……….I was so stupid…..and blind…..god! Look when she is on the mend all good and proper and we have the information that is required to maintain the stability of OUR shores I will expect the BOTH of you out of my city or I’ll have more to feed the rocky waters…..”

This is not going the way it should. My mind drifts; there was a crash a heavy sound I can only imagine is that idiot Jenny dropping her toolbox yet again. Sometimes I think she does it to be recognized. Helena was still talking.

“………..I would see you out there on that mountain weeping for her…..I took pity on you and I confused it with love. There is no way I could fallen so helplessly in love with something so lacking as yourself…..I see you now Shane….I see exactly who you are and moreover who you pretend to be.”

“Don’t you think you are being a little crazy about this?”

“I don’t have to answer any of your questions. You love your precious. And she…..she loves you. and I think that is the most distressing part of this……..I hate her with my whole being, I have hated her for her inability to feel anything toward me, the way she spat me out into the world……that…..dying moment of light…….she and you…….are so perfect……I ramble on. I won’t. I knew that feeling for you was a mistake……..I broke my code for you…..for some miscreant love sick, un-loyal child…….and you said it……if it didn’t bother you that this woman that you so love…..that she murdered your own father…….love is blinding……..but I can see……on the mend then get the hell out of my life…….find yourself another version of paradise.”

No, not at all how I wanted this go. Helena yells at me as she walks away. The whole town can hear us.

“Your fucking miserable universe surrounds the pathetic both of you……..”

Those leather boots if they could they would stomp my brains to death. She is that mad. And everything she said is true. And everything we had was a lie.

Tbc……