Hes still asleephere you go, babe, Bette said, walking into the bedroom. She held out the mug of decaf green tea she had fixed up for Tina. Tina finished tugging a t-shirt over her head and gratefully accepted the mug. Mmmthis is greatwhered you Tinas voice trailed as she noticed Bette was staring at her, well…at the words Shes My ***** stretched across her swollen bosom. Close your mouth, theyre not for you, she said in a clipped tone walking past Bette to the bathroom. Bette followed her, still dumb-struck, God, T, theyre so big, she paused, taking a quick smack in the gut, then continued through a chuckle, Im just saying, you knowits nicetheyre nice. Tina looked at herself in the mirror, standing this way and that, finally sighing, They hurt a little actuallyI hope he wakes up soon.

Just then the doorbell rang, and Elijahs soft wails signaled the official beginning of their day. While Tina finished getting herself ready in the bathroom, Bette made her way to the nursery. Elijah ceased crying the minute he was in Bettes arms, gawping like a fish. The trio could be heard letting themselves in, and Bette chuckled to herself as her little bundle suckled away on her index finger for the time being. Showtime, my little man, she whispered, gently nuzzling her nose into his rosy cheek, lets go see your crazy aunts. Bette rolled her eyes; on cue Alice, Dana and Shane started cooing and bubbling over with baby talk as she walked toward them with Elijah nestled in her arms. They huddled around her, gushing over his big brown eyes, the tuft of wispy, light brown hair adorning his otherwise bald little head, and his beautiful tan-hued complexion.

Dana: Oh, god, he is so cute!

Alice: He is a lookerdo you remember me? Im your Auntie Alice and the crazy brunettes your Auntie Dane-Dane.

Dana: (putting an arm around Shane) And this is your Uncle Shane!

Shane: Hey little guy

Alice: I think youre gonna have some serious competition, Shane.

Bette: What are you all doing here?

Alice gave Bette an exasperated look as she pulled Elijah into her own arms, We needed to deliver birthday presents. Bette looked to the other two for clarification, to which Shane pointed to the driveway, It’s in the car. She and Dana hurried out the front door, so Bette turned to Alice, Hes only a week and a half old. Alice was about to launch in to how Bette was going to suck as a mother if she didnt think that a 1.5 week commemoration of their sons birth was not in order when she saw Tina. Instead she shouted, Holy MOTHER! Tina crossed her arms over her chest, a little more than self-conscious at this point as Shane and Dana struggled to squeeze Elijahs one-and-a-half-week birthday present through the front door.

Tina: Youve got to be kidding me!

Bette: He cant even crawl!

Alice: Even more of a reason!

Dana and Shane stood beaming and showing off the miniature Jeep Cherokee like mirror images of Vanna White. Tina walked over to stand next to Bette and join in the motherly, disapproving scowl that Alice joked they were getting so good at it was scary. Dana pleaded for a chance to hold Elijah, and as she and Alice began arguing over the issue Shane explained to the bewildered mothers how to operate Elijahs new wheels. And when youre big enough Auntie Danas gonna teach you how to play tennis! Dana cooed, rocking him gently from side to side. Shane finally got to her feet, offering to take the kiddy vehicle to the backyard, when she came eye level with Tinaswell you know. Her eyes widened, and coughing, she excused herself and dragged the little jeep with her. Bette chuckled at Tina blushing and trying desperately to stretch her shirt out so it wouldnt cling so tightly.

Dana, Tina has to feed the baby, Bette said, smiling and giving Tina a teasing wink. Where are you going, Alice asked as Tina gathered Elijah in her arms and began walking to the nursery. Theres a little too much activity out here for him, Tina explained quickly. Bette led the way to the kitchen where the rest of them gathered to share some coffee.

Dana: Since when is Tina so nipple-shy?

Bette: Hes very observant…when theres a lot going on, he tends to get distracted.

Alice: Speaking of distractionshow are you dealing with it?

Bette: Are you calling my son a distraction

Alice: No! (whispering) Im calling Tinas hoo-has a distraction.

Dana: I didnt want say anything, butphew! Youre a lucky woman Ms. Porter!

Shane: Guysjeez, cmon already

Bette: Thank you, Shane.

Alice: Yeah, Shanelike you didnt have your eyes glued to them the minute you walked in the door.

Shane: Are they going to stay like thatlike permanently?

Only as long as Im lactating, came Tinas voice. She strode into the kitchen with Elijah perched on her shoulder, I need the pump, hes not taking my nipple. Alice raised her cup to her lips, Thats probably never a problem with Bette. Bette shot Alice a warning glare, to which she raised her hands defensively, Oh, cmonshe practically set me up for that one! A few moments later, Tina retired to the bedroom toretrieveElijahs breakfast, leaving him snuggled in Bettes arms to once again suck on her index finger. Tina insisted it was the only thing that soothed him when he was feeling irritable or had to wait for his meal. That is so cute! Dana squealed, and all four women nodded in unison, taking in the sight of the wrinkled little person Bette was holding.

Dana: I wonder what it tastes like to him

Shane: Probably the same as a finger would taste to you

Alice: Well, if he doesnt like Tinas nipple, maybe hes thinking of a wee-wee

Dana: Oh, god, Alice!

Tina: Whats going on now?

Bette: Alice just implied that our son might be *****.

Shane: Well, that wouldnt be so bad

Alice: Yeah, these dykes can actually teach HIM about fashion.

Dana: (chuckling) Oh, that was goodthat was pretty funny.

Tina and Bette exchanged knowing glances, then turned to the three, now expectant aunts. Tina smiled, So who wants to feed him? she asked brightly, brandishing the baby bottle brimming with fresh milk. Definitely NOT Alice, not after that comment, Bette said, switching Elijah from her left to her right shoulder. Tina nodded her agreement, then shook her head at Dana, Im sorry, but if you laugh with her, you go down with her. Danas smile collapsed. Shane will you do the honors? Tina asked, offering her the bottle. Shane smirked at Dana and Alice and gladly accepted her first chance to feed Elijah Kennard-Porter. He fussed a little when Bette plucked her finger away, but with a little cooing from Shane and both moms, he settled down and began happily gulping down his first meal of the day.

(i went with the hyphenated name because i think combo’s are kinda silly, and Kennard is first because i love Tina/Laurel Holloman more…cheerio!)