“The night I met Tina was the night of the opening of one of the shows at my gallery. I was nervous, wanted everything to be right. I spent the whole day working and as I was getting ready I felt my stomach spinning around. I thought it was because of all the stress but there was someting new in that feeling, was really anxious about that night….That night Alice, a friend of mine, well,she is a friend of Tina too ..now, not then thou….
Well, Alice was coming with me to the opening, not as a date as we already were beyond that. We dated for a while but we soon realized that we were not meant for each other, it was too stressful to be with her, and she felt the same, we both wanted to be in control. The ***** was great but it could not work, so before hurting each other we decide to remain friends and thats what we were .She was my closest friend then.
Well, Alice.. “

Bette noticed that she was not getting to the point, she didnt know how to get there, so she looked at the wall in silence for a few seconds…then she stood up and walked back to the window. It was still raining outside and the rain drops on the window were running down. She rose her hand as if to touch them, letting those rain tears to bring her back to that night.

“It was raining that night, not a good thing for an opening so I was not in the best of moods. Alice teased me and tried to cheer me up. I had my business face on, smiling to everybody, chatting with them, just working, trying to make it all over as soon as possible. Tiredness was getting in to me and all I wanted to do was going home, curl in my bed and watched an old movie on tv.
Alice teased me all the way there, she told me I was not being myself. She told me that I was looking great, hot even, she said with a wink. But that didnt mind that much. I was feeling empty and it wasnt for lack of opportunities. I had women all over me, or so Alice said, but I was just tired of getting to try knowing them, feeling bore the second they started talking. They usually all looked hot, they were all beautiful and some of them were even quite interesting but no one got my attention after the quick and great ***** I usually shared with almost all of them.”

Bette moved apart from the window and without even looking at Dan, started pacing the room.

“But then, as I was walking towards the bar I saw her. She was talking with a man, her back to me, leaning on the wall. It was her back. She was wearing a black dress, her shoulders bare. I could tell from the distance how soft her shoulders were, their shape, it was so attractive, I felt so moved by those bare shoulders that I wanted to touch them. Id tell she was talking, she was moving her hands, slowly, taking her time, sweetly touching the mans arm, so caring.
I moved towards her without even knowing what I was doing, but as I was getting closer, Alice called me and taking my arm led me to a friend of hers she wanted me to know.
I was trying to get rid of them but then someone tapped my shoulder. I knew before turning around that she was there, Id feel it. She was walking towards me, smiling lightly, like in slow motion. I knew the man that tapped my shoulder, he was a lawyer I worked with ,sometimes. He introduced us. I didnt hear a word he said, I just nodded, smiling, taking her hand in mines. She was so relax, smiling at me. Her friend walked away to talk with the artist but she stayed. I couldnt take a good look at her, her eyes mesmerized me and I could barely moved my eyes from hers. She didnt talk much, I was nervous, was doing all the talking, she just listened to me. She smiled a few times and even laughed at one of my silly remarks about one of the pieces. I was feeling an urge to get to her, wanted badly for her to show me some interest but she was just standng there, enjoying the moment but not doing any real flirting.
Then, as a cold shower, a thought came to my mind. It was a memory more than a thought. Did her friend said that Tina was his girlfriend? Mg, she was straight!. I felt as my world was becoming apart. As I was realizing all that Tina excused herself and walked towards him. He was waving at her, asking for her. As I saw her walking away I got a good look at her. She wasnt a classic beauty. I thought she was beautiful but even so Id tell she was not the most beautiful woman at the gallery but there was something in her that made me think she was the only woman in the room.
Anyway, I lost truck of her, people was leaving and when they walked to say their goodbyes I heard myself inviting them to the dinner I was having at the gallery. She, again, didnt say anything but he accepted right away.
I spent the rest on the night trying to make eye contact with her, couldnt stop looking at her. For the first time in my life I didnt know what I was doing, she seemed like she didnt care much, she was nice and sweet but I wasnt feeling the adoration and desire I usually got from almost any girl I put my eyes on…. They left early and after that I dont remember much about that night.
I know I went to bed thinking about her, cursing life and fate and those damn straight girls that usually show up in almost every ***** life. I knew about them, all ***** know about them. They play with you and leave you as soon as the excitement is over. But Tina didnt look like a player. She didnt even flirt with me, she looked like she wasnt aware of my interest. I knew she knew I was a *****, everybody knew, I had a reputation you know..”

Bette was getting angry and it was, in part, because she was feeling lost again, as if she was drowning with the memories.She walked back to the couch and sat down, looking at Dan for the first time.

“She didnt care to notice my frontal flirting. I was so frank, so evident, it was shameless. Even Alice told me when she drove me home.
Next morning the gallery was close but I didnt feel like staying at home so I drove there and as I was cleaning some papers from my desk I noticed her earring. The one she almost lost, the one I took from her hair. I stared at the earring for a long time, I was so sure she had put it back on, I was sure I saw her doing it. But the earring was there, in front of me, mocking me. It was a cruel reminder of my failure. I sighed and put it in an envelope.
As I was picking up the phone to call Alice, I heard someone at the door, knocking. I walked there, not feeling very happy or welcoming, the day was getting worst, it was my day off and I wasnt enjoying it. But then I saw her. She was wearing jeans and a white t shirt, it looked so well on her, so natural, so easy…but so *****. I walked faster that I thought Id , and smiling broadly opened the door for her. Very sweetly she explained her visit, she was sure she lost her earring and was wondering if I had seen it. I was speechless, took her hand and walked her to my office. Holding her hand then, even now, is the most exciting thing I have ever done. I know is silly, but it felt so right, so perfect. I know we have hold hands many times after that but thats the best. It was so sweet, so soft. Her hand fitted perfectly in mine… I cant explain it you know…”

Bette wasnt noticing the tears running down, she was lost in her memories.

“…after putting the earring on her hand I kissed her, I didnt intent to but I did . For the first time in my life I felt weak as a leaf. She didnt move, she let me kiss her. I broke the kiss and looked at her and what I saw in her eyes broke my heart. She didnt say a word, she just smiled at me, hold my hand for a few seconds and then left the office leaving me dizzy, empty and broke.”