Bette watched Angelica from afar. Her daughter was on the playground and she was sitting on the bench with Tina. Bette was painfully aware of her former-wifes presence. But not like before, she was just a little hurt each time they faced each other. What hurt her the most was that Tina had so fucking moved on.

So Bette…meet anyone yet?

Bette turned to look at her, searching her eyes for clues. Sort of but Im not sure if its the real deal. Tina sighed, they had this conversation every time. But then Tina did something that blew Bettes socks off…Tina leaned close and kissed Bettes cheek. The shock of feeling that made Bettes heart stop, she stiffened…could hardly breathe. The world stopped. Bette turned to her, looking for more. Yet Tina leaned back away….Bette, I think we should stop having these monthly meetings, the time we spent together was precious, when we were a…couple. But I think seeing each other is detrimental to you, it feels like your hanging on you know, it hurts me to see like this. You seem to be doing so well, so well and it feels like seeing me makes you hold on that there might be hope. Bette we are over. Im never going to go back to go….it hurts me to say it, but I have to. Your hurting, youre hanging on. But let go Bette…let go…..I love you, that will never change. We shared something wonderful and it was great, it nourished us both…but it changed, and now we move on. I respect you…. Tina touched Bettes knee, and stood up…called to Angel and left. Bette was too weak to say goodbye to her daughter.

            Later it was raining and Bette was still at the park. The rain hid her tears. She walked around in circles, and then in a fit of sadness anger and pain…she screamed. And screamed. And screamed. That night she aborted Tina from her body…through an hour of silent yells.

Hello?

Hey…..are you ok?

I need you

Where are you?

Home…can you give me a ride? To anywhere, I just need to feel a car moving

Yea..Ill be there in twenty minutes

Bye

            Bette wiped the dried-out salt from her tear-streamed face and got the fuck up. Walked the fuck around. Then puked her entire fantasy out. The Tina Fantasy. She wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, she felt sick. It was Tina was ripping away….they were truly over. She had held hope for so long…so fucking long. Bette washed her hands and her mouth, spitting out the water. Looked herself in the mirror. She could see herself getting older, of course she still attracted people, people still turned around. But she couldnt keep doing this. Was she a masochist? An emotional masochist? Could she forget about Tina after Tina was in Bettes life for fifteen years? Tina had said in a phone call later that they would still talk on the phone if they had to, and that they wont have to meet because of the school arrangement. Bette could hear the pain in Tinas voice; it wasnt easy for her either. If it was Henrys doing Bette would personally cut his balls off, stick them on a toothpick, and plop them in someones Gin & Tonic. But Bette didnt think it was his doing, it was a very Tina thing to do. She really cared about her. Bette smiled; looking down….Tina cared about her so much she would do this awful thing. It was good. Was it? The one sure thing Bette knew was that Angelica was her daughter and no one was gonna fuck with that. Next weekend was when she got her. Bette couldn’t wait.

            Carols car was nice and clean, cleaner than Bettes. Bette leaned against the passenger inside door, feeling the breeze and breathing softly, smoking a cigarette. Carol didnt say anything about the cigarette, she didnt smoke but she let Bette be. Bette liked that. Carol didnt put up with bullshit but she kept it real when her lover was having a shitty fucking day. Where do you want to go?  Anywhere So Carol drove on and on, weaving through the hell that is LA traffic, it was late but it never stopped. Carol parked in some high school lovers leap type lot. Bette threw her cig out, rolled up the window, leaned back, breathed, and looked at Carol who was looking closely at her. Carol reached over and took Bettes hand, squeezed. Bette leaned forward for a kiss but Carol shook her head…Brush your teeth first, I dont want to taste that nasty cancer stick That made Bette smile, she leaned back again and instead kissed Carols hand. She thought about Lena for some reason. Bette wouldnt go there….would she? No, though she would have hard time SAYING no. So unethical though it happened all the time, Bette saw the way student and professor looked at each other sometimes, then that student gets a great fucking grade. Yea Bette was attracted to Lena, Bette could admit that. But she was such an arrogant little bitch that Lena. Bette looked at Carol more, no she couldnt sleep with a student….dont think about that. Think about yourself…and C. She kissed Carols hand again and leaned forward with one hand holding Carols shoulder she kissed her. This time Carol didnt protest. Bette moved a bit and kissed Carols jaw, her neck, her ear…her lips…and whispered…Stay with me.

TBC