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Angels Never Came Down 8
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Eric. What had she done? She had wasted someone’s time and love as she sleep-walked through the motions of being in a relationship. But if she really felt that way, why was it so painful to think of the man? What was she doing? What had she done? And who the hell was she?
Tina didn’t understand at all. She had met Eric right after college. They dated exclusively since then. They moved in together a couple of years before. Eric had proposed. Her life path was set and she was already halfway towards going down it. Her feet were in motion. Then they stopped. She stopped. Why?
She remembered what she had said in her letter to Bette:
"I need to find out who I am. I’ve heard people say that being in a relationship completed them. I don’t want that, Bette. I want to be complete in myself before I get into another relationship. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who is only half a person? Can anyone tell me that? Well, I don’t have to know. I won’t do it again. When I get into a new relationship (hopefully with you but I can’t hold my breath) I want to be a whole person. Capable of love and being loved."
It was all true. She did feel like she was only half a person. She felt like she was still a kid. Despite mourning a broken relationship, she was not heart-broken. She felt strangely detached from it all now.
"Are you whole, Bette?" she had written, "Do you feel that if you were to love someone, you could give her your whole self? I don’t. I never want to short-change anyone ever again, least of all, you. You have been so loving and supportive… I almost want to apologize that I’ve developed these feelings for you. I’m sure you’re laughing now at how this kid is confessing falling on love for you in a letter. So trite, right? I’m sorry. This is all I am capable of right now.
And that’s why I need to go. I need to leave.
I wrote all of these down because I could not ever tell you in person. What can I say? I am a coward. As you read this, I’m probably on my way to the airport. I’m going away for a while. I need to think. I need to experience so much more… We’ve been best friends for so long…."
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I’m actually more worried that Tina’s been seriously ill than that she’s turned into some über butch bad-girl-Casanova and has slept her way through the Pacific Northwest over the last 4 years… And I hope Bette doesn’t need 4 years to make the changes she’s going to need to make in order to stop living a half-life, longing for something that can’t be, and start living fully… maybe even with Tina around. This was so good I needed to read it twice, 7. ;) Thanks again! :)
Wow! Interesting. PPS
This is very intersting and like it!
Interesting… re-growing hair, flat chest… (should I worry?) and Dockers? I think Tina is in for a shocker, once she realises just how long Bette wanted someone back that was never, and is never, going to come. And why does Tina want someone that she admittedly forgot, whether out of selfishness or necessity? Tina’s clearly no longer the person that Bette thought she loved, maybe that’s going to be harder for Bette to take than the 4-year absence. How Tina works Bette into her new life is going to be interesting, to say the least. I *really* want to see where this is going next. Thanks, 7, and happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate! :)
Interesting is an understatement, isn’t it? I find myself intrigued and I wrote this stuff! jp22 I love how you noted that Tina, Bette’s Tina, “was never, and is never, going to come.” Great catch there!
oh gosh.. what’s with the 540 degree change in Tina? =O I hope Bette can see past everything and still see the Tina that she knew and loved. And hopefully she won’t be too hurt that Tina “forgot” about her! Hopefully, Tina will start regretting that she didn’t contact Bette earlier! Thanks for posting and I can’t wait for the next installment! =)
Oh My sounds like Tina really really changed…..I am not sure Bette will see tina at all…the Tina she loved and waited for 4 years
Oh wow! This is a turnabout. I hope Bette sees it’s still her Tina. Thank you for the update. :)
Tina as a stone cold butch? Ha! I’m eager to see how this different slant plays out! Thanks!
OH MY 7, please, please tell us Tina has bandages over a newly remove tat or sunburn or or or something other that breast removal. Is she now Tommy or is she still Tina, you did leave Max, Max and not Moria and did refer to her as “her” not him so if all that we assume is true please at least have someone there for Bette when she has to find this out. Thank you, Md aka Oma
jp22 expressed my sentiments exactly and the whole time while i was reading all i could think of was WOW…interesting, i’m really looking forward to see Bette’s reaction to butch bad girl Tina…you keep surprising me 7PM and it’s a very good thing, and just like Tina, i hope she’ll get the girl
Oh gosh, what has happened to Tina while she was gone? Does the re-growing of hair and a flat chest speak of a very serious illness and chemotherapy treatment. Can hardly wait to see what happens next and how Bette will receive Tinas presence. Thanks for posting.