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Another Left Turn – Chapter 14
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Not really sure what she was going to do, she sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, looking at the bare wall opposite. She smiled. Tina had chosen the wallpaper design and was excited about seeing it when she got back on Saturday. She seemed excited about a lot of things these days. Simple things, like coming into Bette’s study with a cup of coffee and sitting on the couch, cross-legged, talking about stuff, the news, weather, what’s for dinner, why the Tivo box is misbehaving. There was a sparkle about her that was new – or rather, old – or rather, hadn’t been around for a long time.
Bette rubbed her eyes, got off the bed and went into the en suite, again not sure why, but then found herself looking at Tina’s things. Hair clips. Her best Chanel lipstick (too good for work). Tampax. Weird, having that back . . .
She slipped on her robe and went down to the kitchen. The house was not as tidy as it usually was. But as with the baby Angelica’s endless apparatus when she appeared, it was, she told herself, the joyous flotsam of a life shared with others, if also, at times, really fucking annoying.
She filled the kettle and then stood leaning on the counter, wondering about her mood. They’d barely spoken about adoption the last week or so, but in truth she didn’t want to, and dreaded the moment she’d have to decide. She’d also argued with Angie just as she was going to bed. Some crackpot idea about labouring for Helena all summer . . .
She took down the box of camomile tea bags and saw, on the shelf above, a bottle of saffron-infused balsamic vinegar: Waddy’s. Suddenly, Bette’s throat tightened with emotion. She stared at it, covering her mouth to stifle a sob.
Why?
Shaken, she looked down until the moment passed, then wiped the tears away and tried to exhaled the tension. Strange times. And she knew she was rattled. The sex problem a big part of it . . .
She looked around the kitchen. She’d made love with Tina in here a few times. Could look at these worktops and know they were cold and clammy, not to say squeaky, against a bare ass. She rolled her eyes thinking how Angie would react if she knew. Burn the kitchen, burn it aaaaaalllll! Maybe one day they’d tell her about that time when she was much younger, and Kit had her away somewhere, and Mama T came over to the WeHo house and seduced Mama B. Bette smiled, remembering how pleased she was that day with her newfound cooking skills, even though she’d made the noodles way too soon and Angie actually ended up with McDonald’s that night . . .
The kettle boiled. She made the tea and took it into the living room. Her ankle was almost okay now. Doctor on Friday, when she expected to be allowed to drive again. So, that was a positive. And we got Neilsen! She chuckled, remembering how happy Dani was. And then – again – tears. More, this time.
She put her hand over her mouth. How could she be unhappy? The feeling of disloyalty, of profound betrayal, was agony. Tina had been through so much, suffered so long, been so brave.
She wiped her face, her throat aching, head pounding with stress and lack of sleep. The tea was cool now and she took a big swallow. She looked around, a little dazed, and noticed a thin white cord running from behind one of the sofas and going towards the dining room . . .
Is this getting used?
What d’you want it for?
I could use it for my MacBook, in the dining room.
Oh. Okay.
So it’s not getting used?
Where was it?
In the closet.
In the closet, just . . . not being used? Well, then I guess it’s not being used, honey.
Great.
Tears formed again, but they were grateful. It was hard for all of them, this refitting together, and she was impatient by nature, but having Tina back was unspeakably sweet.
She got up, lifted the blind and looked at the sky. Nowhere near daylight. Maybe if she went back to bed she could get an hour or so before Angie was up?
In the hallway, on the way past her study, she had an idea. She went into the room, switched on the light and went to her desk.
Kit’s face, joyful, looked at her.
She looked back for a moment, then picked up her Post-its and wrote the name of someone she wanted to call tomorrow. Then she kissed her fingertip, placed it on Kit’s lips, and went back to bed.
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Ok Largo. I was just off to the office to print some things and see you posted this. Not fair as now I am torn between that important errand and reading your chapter. Unfortunately, I will have to read this later once I have the time to savor it. Stay tuned for comments. Thanks
BK
haha, thank you BK! x
Every other weekend> Really!
Really enjoy how you write each of their thoughts guiding us to an ending which I hope is going to be a good TiBette one!
Thank you for posting enjoyed as usual and look forward to more
SG
Hiya SG! I was very happy to see you back online. I wondered where you were but glad you’re back :-)
Thanks for keeping up with my story and for the encouragement. Tibette countdown 10, 9…
Take care x
I would be super worried right now with Carrie showing up if you had not reassured us that you are true blue TiBette and there are only a few chapters left. Hopefully this is the closure to that relationship.?!?! Wondering what Bette needs in order to trust Tina enough to be intimate again. It’s clearly something she is thinking and dreaming about. Call me a hopeless romantic but I wish they would remarry especially if adopting a child. Sad that Tina is carrying the rings. Really enjoying your story.
Hi Billy! Yeah, I know the Carrie thing was a bit YIKES so I thought I’d better put a reminder in the notes. I also felt sad when I was writing the part about the rings. They symbolise a lot at this point.
Thank you very much for keeping on reading this – I really appreciate your comments and the encouragement. Now approaching the endgame…. Exciting for me!
Take care x
I wonder what is going on with Bette….she wants and loves the fact that Tina is back in her life. But she cannot give her self physically at moment. Its not like they haven’t been intimate thousands of times in the past. Nor is it that she hasn’t thought about it and even on some level deeply desires it. Could it be that she cannot reconcile herself that Tina dumped her and made a commitment to Carrie after she had made a life time commitment to her? The fact that she was intimate with Carrie and made that commitment to her and could end with Carrie so easily to return to her? Or is it that Tina has been intimate with Carrie and she simply cannot overcome that fact to allow herself to be intimate with Tina? I don’t know that this is going to remedy itself naturally. Bette needs counseling about this reconciliation. Its a major adjustment and decision in her life and she needs to believe that she is making the best decision for her life. She needs to go into this with no reservations. She is not there yet.
Its obvious that Bette and Tina love one another, but they still need to get to that understanding and trust with each other and believe that the future will not be a repeat of the past. They can do it, they may just need a little more help getting there…
Thanks for the this chapter. Look forward to the next….
Bette liked Wendy. Maybe a few sessions with her?
I would love to do that! :-)
Hiya Martha! great to see you here and thank you for reading this chapter. :-)
As I said in the notes, Bette is all over the place. And I do wonder if withholding is a subconscious power rebalancing? Bette FEELS powerless (she isn’t). But you’re right, maybe she needs a little help.
Thank you for all your great comments during this long story. They have been truly invaluable. Take care x
Great how Tina gently brought Bette to cut the crap and answer honestly without underlying verbal manipulation. Tina’s session with Wendy did wonders, I’d say. I second Billy’s idea: another visit with Wendy could be good for Bette.
Hopefully Bette will get to the bottom of her anxiety to get physically too close to Tina. Wonder what she’ll find out about herself. Tina and Carrie? Well, a chance for a final goodbye and an explanation.
Thanks for posting!
Hi kiwipit! Thank you for reading this chapter and for commenting :-)
I’m so happy that you liked that dialogue with B&T. I rewrote that a lot! And it was really fun writing a line for Bette and then closing my eyes and thinking ‘ok, how would JB deliver this?’ and then rewriting it to look and sound like her. I don’t know if it works but it’s fun for me.
And yes, Carrie was treated badly – very badly – so she’s due a scene!
Thank you again for commenting and take care x
Largo
Great chapter. I love the progress. I totally get why Bette is not able to give herself physically. Intimacy is about trust at the end of the day and Tina needs to earn that step by painful step. In my opinion, this is not Bette’s problem to fix, it’s Tina’s. Everything she does should be geared to showing Bette she is now here, fully here, not going anywhere, no more surprises. The back and forth to Toronto is a hindrance to this achievement, I think. Everytime they make any progress she is off again for work. That puts their relationship building at a severe disadvantage.
Tina needs to be present, know that Bette needs slow, gradual intimacy. Let Bette take the lead in that area and be a constant source of nearness, available and stability. I call this the “ministry of presence” and it works because words are just words but actions – showing someone you holding space for them – are so powerful when reconciling. Once Bette gives in physically the rest will follow like dominoes but I think she is right to hold out.
I am sad to hear this story is ending. I love it but know you were never really planning on going past that first brilliant chapter. I look forward to the next installment and any new stories you have coming along the way
BK
This is a beautiful post. Ministry of presence. So true. Tina does need to stay put.
Agree – a great comment and a beautiful phrase :-)
Hiya BK! Great comment here, thank you very much :-)
‘Not Bette’s problem to fix’ is a VERY interesting way to look at it. And you’re right, with Tina’s work schedule there’s always a sense of ‘do this before she goes’ or ‘do this when she’s back’. The whole family is on her schedule, admittedly only for a few weeks, but these are fragile weeks.
I agree with Billy – ‘ministry of presence’ is a lovely phrase. And being present is also work, in the Wendy sense, in that you have to deal with your feelings in the presence of the people those feelings are about.
I’m sad the story is almost over as well! I’ve had so much fun. And I’m so grateful to all the lovely people here for encouraging me to keep at it.
Im also looking forward to doing some reading on LesFan!
Thank you so much and take care x
. . . . And they were moving together . . . . That sums up the whole of Tibette for me. This is Y we be so crazy when someone, anyone . . . messes with our girls!!! This is y we’ve had to slap aside anyone that comes or tries to come between them.
Seriously tho, the ladies have some serious talking/crying to do at this point, so they best get on with it! They can really teach Angie some precious lessons in what it means to reconcile and love more fully. They can really. bless her heart by showing what it’s like to love your soul mate even after having made extrememly hurtful and reckless choices.
Hope they all keep making “left-hand turns+ if that’s what it takes to love each other unconditionally.
Hiya DumplinT! is your name about Tina??? I do wonder where people’s names come from :-)
I am so glad you’re such a staunch Tibetter – I am too and it’s really hard sometimes not to just write ‘and then they decided not to bother being upset and now they’re happy, the end’ lol
I love what you said about teaching Angie. That has been in my mind pretty much from the beginning: what is it like to have these two as your parents??? I have mentioned occasionally Bette’s worries about the example they’re setting – that’s rooted in canon of course.
Thank you very much for keeping on reading and for commenting. It means a lot to me and I hope I can write a Tibette ending that makes you happy!
Take care x
Yes Largo, Dumplin comes from one of the fab stories! Tina’s Grammy called her “Dumplin”.
I’m not an Author like U and the others who write so well and make us hang on your every word, so OFTEN leaving us saying, “What?!! You cant stop there!!! But at this point, I figure, two can play this game . . . .
When will I reveal from which story my pin. name arose ????
haha! I love it. I’m pretty sure I have read the story you’re referring to but I used to read on the site as a guest for many years before I registered, so I had no way of marking my favourites and used to forget the authors’ names…
Love the cliffhanger, though. Don’t forget to tell me later! x
Well, I’m not totally cruel, but I wont tell ya which chapter . . . . You’ll have to start with Chapter one of “You Found Me” ????????
Largo-
Unsurprisingly, another great chapter. I am so torn. A two week wait for the next chapter will feel interminable. Yet, with only 3 remaining installments, it means your great story will end in early August. If I had any willpower, I would delay reading each new future chapter so that I could extend my reading pleasure. Alas, I have no willpower. Maybe I can get Jacky to block me from the site for a few weeks at a time?
Poor Bette. She is so close to having forever what her heart has longed for and a believable explanation to Tina’s past behavior, but trust is so hard. Tina’s impatience was ill-advised (Tina’s mistake, not the author’s ????) but she is a smart girl and won’t make that mistake again. (Unless she is a dumb girl, and the epilogue will all be about how they didn’t work out and Tibette is no more—sorry, I got carried away for a moment. I now repeat my mantra (in your head, hear these word as if spoken in a grouchy voice): “I love Bette and I want Bette to be happy. Bette will never be happy without Tibette. Ergo, I must be a Tibetter.” Lather, rinse, repeat.
I sure can understand why you are assuring every one of your Tibette heart—“Tina knew her heart, and its moods, the slipperiness of affection. It is possible to love more than one person at the same time, she was quite convinced of that, but in her life, after a certain point, one of those people would always be Bette.” YIKES!!!!!! This gave even me heart palpitations. “[T]he slipperiness of affection”—EGADS. Bette could banter with Peggy P about the Surrealists (was it the Surrealists?) and their sick, obsessive love poems but I’m thinking that Tina should keep her views on this issue to herself.
I love Angie’s geekiness and her comfort with it. I love even more that Bette is OK with a daughter that is unlike the “designer baby” she had tried to create. Letting go of the imagined child and embracing and supporting the flesh and blood human that is—that is tough for many parents and I think it would have been difficult for a while for OG Bette. Brava for your Bette (Tina too, I grumble reluctantly).
I really liked hearing Angelica’s observations about the ongoing reconciliation. It is so hard to tell a story when you want to convey what is going on in the thoughts of the principals. The outside narrator, via their
daughter, was really comforting to me as a reader because the on-scene observer was confirming the conclusions I was drawing but uncertain about because the principals might be unreliable narrators. This paragraph probably makes no sense or else is a big “duh”.
I do feel somewhat bamboozled, however. Early on, you got my hopes up that Bette would abandon that awful house—so filled with tastefully expensive but boring furnishings ( I blame Tina (but of course I would) ) and ridiculous spaces. So they are staying there. Sigh. However, I do feel that, intentionally or not, you have extended an olive branch. Although Largo taketh away my dreams of a home as worthy as that of Seasons 1-5 (EVERYONE agrees that the Season 6 house was an ABOMINATION reminiscent of small suites at moderately-priced extended stay hotel chains), Largo giveth an appearance by Maya. IknowIknowIknowIknow—not for Bette and I have mixed feeling about subjecting Maya to potential Shane-induced heartbreak, but I have pushed any concerns aside and remember that MAYA inspired that determined BP strut in the GQ finale. So, SHOUT OUT TO MAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spu
Hiya Spu! Honestly, you make me laugh so much with how stoical you are, lol No one said being a reluctant Tibetter was easy, right? I am not-so-secretly very proud of making you root for them (it’s okay, I *know* it’s really Bette you’re rooting for).
Tina was a bit impatient! It’s been interesting to me that I’ve found Tina the more sexual character when I’ve been writing them. I’m not sure why that is??? But yeah, she’s on a ‘learning curve’ too.
That line about the slipperiness of affection: that’s part of a deep paradox that I think lives in the Tibette relationship. Bette is ‘the intellectual’ but actually Tina does nuance better. And even as I write that I realise that what I’ve enjoyed most about writing this story is pushing into how COMPLICATED they are. Of course, some of that ‘complexity’ arises out of TV writers not being able to remember what they said about themselves or did, but I find it interesting anyway, haha
Bless you too for commenting on Angie! Y’know, I rewrote that scene with her in the lab about four times, completely rewrote it, and every time I did it I got a bit closer to who I think she is, so it was worth it. And yes, it took me a long time to get into her head but she is – brilliant of you observe this – the third viewpoint that we need on Tibette! She’s the witness that isn’t either of them.
The house??? I hate it. That’s all I can say at this point. I mean, it’s almost as if the GenQ creators hadn’t seen TLW and didn’t know that Bette Porter would never, ever,…. oh. Right.
And I really liked Maya so Maya came back – literally just popped out of the keyboard when I was writing Shane and Angie on the bench. (Isn’t writing the weirdest thing sometimes??) I don’t know if I can face teaming her up with Shane, haha. She’s much too nice :p
Thanks, Spu. It’s always so nice to see your comments. Take care x
Largo. I have a wild idea. What if Jodie returns? Now that Bette is still single., maybe Jodie comes back as a part time sculpturing instructor for Angie’s school? That would definitely throw in an added incentive for Tina to get her act together. I was hoping that Marlee might make a return in season 2 to make things more interesting. What do you and other readers on the board think? There are many that want the return of Helena Peabody as well and I think Rachel Shelley might just do that if asked
Hi Jane! Yes, I think that RS could be persuaded to come back if GenQ could find space for her. I would love to see Helena again. She had real complexity by the time she’d been in prison, lol
I’d love to see MM back as well. :-) I’m not sure that Bette would be into Jodie again but it’s true that seeing Bette with other people has always woken Tina up when she’s been drifting away. But mainly I’m just hoping we still get a S2 of GenQ! x
Largo,
So many things going through my mind, so if I become to tangential sorry.
Here it goes, love that Carrie made an appearance. I didn’t think complete closure happened there, I am interested to see what you do with that next.
Maya, hmmm, that could be interesting.
In my humble opinion Bette has a piece in the problem with their intimacy and I don’t think it is all about trusting Tina to stay put. What Shane said was point on about the head getting in the way of sex. Bette has stuff and I think as Tina works on her stuff, Bette’s stuff is surfacing.
I so like Tina being the more assertive one when it comes to initiating sex. I have always felt that Tina was really in control in that area. She may be on the receiving end, but she plays Bette well to get what she needs.
Angie is very interesting. I do like how you had her interests lay outside of the arts. It is very common for children to choose a different path than their parents. I agree with her, she needs a car. LOL
Anyway, I look forward to seeing how you resolve all these interesting issues that are in play as you move towards their complete reconciliation.
Kelly
Hiya Kelly! Thank you very much for reading this latest chapter and for commenting. :-)
You’re right about Carrie – she kept coming into my mind when I thought about how unpredictable Tina was and how that must look to Angie in particular, so I thought ‘Must deal with that loose end….’ Uncomfortable thought it might be.
I agree with you 100% that Bette needs to address more than ‘just’ the sex issue AS a sex issue. And again, I agree that the work Tina is doing is influencing Bette. It’s a shame that professional ethics prohibit Wendy from being Bette’s therapist at the moment. She’d be perfect for her. But yeah, Bette is slowly turning to face herself (and there’s nothing quite like not being able to function in bed to make Bette pay attention :-) )
I’m glad you liked Maya reappearing. Y’know, if GenQ doesn’t get its Tibette on, I’d be okay with Bette and Maya. She’s beautiful and smart and caring. (Note to self: keep Maya away from Shane….)
Angie will get her car! And yes, I gave her an interest in science and space because I like it – writer’s prerogative, right? haha But also, as Spumoni has said, and it’s a very interesting point, Angie was kind of a designer baby – designed to be an artist – and it hasn’t worked! (Throwing shade at Virginia Woolf, though – tut tut – I love To The Lighthouse…)
Thank s again for the comments. I’m so grateful for the time and attention to this story as I near its end. t keeps me motivated and encouraged and I appreciate it. Take care & keep writing – I will be a better reader when I’m finished ALT! x