CHAPTER 9

You could think that Shane and Carmen fixed it all up, that day.
You’re wrong.
It wasn’t a matter of love anymore.
It was a matter of pride.
A who-gives-up-first matter.
Of course, if you give up, the unvoiced truth is that you’re the one to blame.
If you give up, the other one wins.
And Shane and Carmen both claimed to be in the right.
Shane and Carmen both wanted to raise the World Champion cup.
Carmen felt underestimated, Shane felt eccessively punished for her brief, meaningless défaillance.
Looking the other straight in the eyes and say “I am sorry, let’s start again”, was becoming the most difficult thing for them.
So, my dear ladies and gentlemen, I so would like to tell you: don’t let this bother you.
It’s all gonna work out.
But I can’t.
Because a couple of days later, and despite that sexual encounter, Shane came to me with a map.

Flashback – Shane

I unroll the map right in front of Alice’s eyes, who is sitting at her desk with her eyebrows arched and – I am starting to suspect it – thinking about how crazy I am going about this whole matter.
“Alright…”, I start, pointing my fingers on the bi-dimensional rooms of my house, “…The red areas are hers”.
I tap my finger on half of the kitchen, the main bedroom, the first floor bathroom, the living room.
“The yellow areas are mine”.
And I point at my studio, the guest bedroom, the second floor bathroom, the breakfast nook in the basement where my adored steam room is, and my tiny photographic studio at the first floor.
“Green is neutral”, I state, glancing at Alice who is still sitting wordless.
I lean my back against the chair.
“The kitchen was difficult, but Carmen came up with the idea of time allotment”.
Alice tilts her head, doubtful, and then clasps her hands on the desk.
“This seems rational to you both?”.
I sigh, rubbing my tired eyes.
“Yeah…”.
Alice sighs back and gets up. She turns around the desk and sits on a corner of it, swaying her feet in front of me.
“Shane, my father used to say that you could never outdo a woman when it came to love or revenge”.
“I am a woman”, I interrupt her, chuckling.
Alice closes her eyes.
“You know exactly what I mean, Shane, my friend…”.
She stares at me with seriousness glimmering in her blue eyes.
Seriousness and concerning.
“Why don’t you let her have the house?”, she asks, quietly.
I don’t reply. I just clench my jaw.
“There are other houses. And other women”.
I move on my seat, uncomfortably.
“No, no, no. I am going to win because I’ve got her to accept the ground rules”.
Al jumps off the desk and starts pacing the room.
“Fuck, Shane! Are you really losing your mind or what? You and Carmen fucked, and that’s an undeniable fact. But that doesn’t mean that you’re going to get what you want! And you’re still divorcing!”.
I lick my lips, lighting a cigarette.
I blow the smoke towards her with a sonorous puff.
“I am gonna win this fucking war, Alice. I know I will. She can attract me physically, but she can’t play games with me anymore”, I murmur, seriously.
Alice blinks her eyelids and shakes her head, grimacing.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Shane? Playing games with you? Carmen never played games with you! She’s not that kind of girl and you know that!”.
“You don’t know her as I do”, I mutter.
Alice sighs, resting her hands on the armrests of my chair and looking at me straight in the eyes.
“Shane, you gotta listen to me”, she states, determined.
“There is no winning in this. It’s only degrees of losing!”.
I pat my hand on the map.
“I got more square footage”.
I dare her to break eye-contact with me.