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Ashes, ashes… Chapter 11
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She pressed her eyes tightly shut and silently counted to 10, forcing thoughts of Tina and Angelica back into the darkest recesses of her mind and heart. It was too much. All of it. The pain, the loss, the shock, the anger. Bette hadn’t yet found a way to sit with her grief without having it totally and completely overwhelm her. Which meant that she couldn’t sit with it at all. When the desperate sadness crept in around the edges, threatening to fill every moment of every day, she shook it off fiercely, and locked it away out of sight and out of mind.
Yet, as much as she resisted her memories, Bette couldn’t stand the thought of completely giving up the past and walking away. And that ambivalence had just cost her an easy escape.
Bette turned the key in the ignition and the Saab purred to life. There was nothing she could do for Tina, and nothing she could do to bring Angelica back. That existence, that family, that world, were gone now. For a brief moment, Bette considered going back inside the restaurant to tell her real estate agent that she’d changed her mind and would accept the offer on the house after all. But before she could turn off the engine, her cell phone rang.
“Hello
“So,”
“Apparently not because I just refused it.”
“That’s great. I mean. You know. You should wait until you get what you’re asking for,”
“That’s essentially what I said to my agent, but I get the sense that she wanted me to take the money and run,” Bette admitted.
“Hey. It’s not her decision. She works for you, on your behalf.”
“That makes one of us,” Bette muttered, putting her car in gear.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
“Does that mean you’re not moving?”
“It means I’m delayed. But as soon as I have a serious buyer, I’m heading to
“Oh.”
She sighed at the disappointment in
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Absolutely heart-breaking…but still beautifully written.
That was so short, I want more. Please get bette and Tina together, they need to talk. Maybe Alice will tell Bette that Helena is getting close to Tina??? lol Please post soon
Bette is lost but she could be lost by Tinas side, not runing..together they can be strong…this is beyong sad..post soon :o(
Geez, they both need to get into therapy!!! I think if Alice said something about Helena, Bette’s jealousy would kick in and she would go over and at the very least, see Tina.
I’ve been following this story since you started posting it, it’s truly heartbreaking. I am overwhelmed by the emotions. I want to not read it kinda like not looking at an accident as you go by, but I can’t help myself. Your writing is beautiful as always just hard to digest.
please, make B&T talk, i’m so heart breaking, this story is beautifully written but it’s slowly killing me, and the worst thing is, you don’t talk to us, you don’t make comments and i don’t know what is your thinking process is…but i know that you are a TiBette shipper, so hopefully after some deliberation, Bette will go and face Tina, they have to, they can’t be without each other…thanks
very tough chapter…wondering what Bette is really going to do…Thanks for posting !
Really don’t have anything to sayabout the story except “get Tina and Bette together” please. They seriously need to talk and understand how they each feel about the baby and their lives together. Thanks for the post.
Ok,here’s a thought…Maybe Helena could really be some kind of saint in this and work to get them thru this…really pls don’t let her swoop in..I wouldn’t know how to get thru something like this, pretty much all behaviour we are reading rings true…God help them!!!
Thanks.
Please enter the fan fic competition runs by showtime for a chance to win a writing part for one ep in S4. Here is the info http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/01/business/01adco.htmlYour talent deserves recognition
that was way too short..can you give us another post real soon…pretty please? they just need to get together and talk
Once again so sad, but powerful and moving as well… Tragically, I sense that Bette is so close to beginning her journey through her grief, but at the same time, is so far away..miles at that..love your writing ffc!!
FFC, you are killing me here. Thanks.
This is just heartbreaking these two so need to sit down and talk and help each other through this pain
Down Low – save some valium for me. This is heartbreaking yet exquisitely written. Feels like the blood is slowly draining out. Please help them soon.
Damn heart breaking!
Beautiful. Thanks for showing us Bette’s side. I knew she couldn’t let go that easily. It’s pretty obvious that she’s grasping for straws. Unfortunately, she’s still got that superhero “I must be perfect” complex going on. *Sigh* You capture B&T so well, ffc. Thank you.
You have such a gift with words. Absolutely amazing.
Bette is just as lost as Tina but she seems to have put a lid on her emotions…your story is so sad but it is written beautifully. Thanks FFC.
my heart is ripped out. this is hard and you do it well. thanks.
FFC I am happy for a change. Heck, at least she is thinking about wanting to see Tina, at least she isn’t willing to sell the house yet….I call this stuff hope. Hope is a good thing. You’ve got to hang onto every thin thread you can find. I’m putting the caps back on the Jack Daniels and the Valium. Thanks.
finally Bette made an appearance. argh..heart wrenching!