“Not long.”

“Bad dream?”

“No.  No dreams at all.  Justawake.”

 Tina rested her head on Helena‘s chest, listening to her steady heartbeat.  She twined a lock of Helena‘s thick, dark hair through her fingers and closed her eyes. 

“Are you all right, Darling?  Can I get you anything?” Helena asked softly.

The only sound in the room was their quiet breathing, and Tina remained silent, considering the many things that she had lost and would have asked for, if she’d thought asking would bring them back to her.  But instead, she merely shook her head and settled in closer to Helena‘s body.

–

Helena instinctively drew Tina closer, placing a tender kiss on top of her head, much as she would have if one of her children had crawled into bed with her after a nightmare.  She ran her palm slowly up and down the length of Tina’s back, frowning slightly at the sharp angle of shoulder blade that pressed through the skin.  Tina was still too thin, even though Helena knew that she’d put on some weight in the past few weeks.  Helena had begun adding soy protein to everything she could-smoothies, shakes, lattes-and while Tina complained that Helena was going to turn her into a sumo wrestler, she was eating.  Not much, but every day.  Which was a huge improvement.

Tina’s breathing slowed and evened out, and her arm grew slack against Helena‘s shoulder.  That was an improvement, too-Tina was sleeping.  Rarely through the night, but usually for an hour or two.  And even when she couldn’t sleep, she would come to bed with Helena and rest next to her.  Sometimes, the two of them would talk, about everything and nothing, until the wee hours or until Helena drifted off, only to be pulled into wakefulness when her alarm summoned her to begin her day.

It was most definitely an unconventional arrangement the two of them had.  Certainly not lovers, but more than roommates.  Helena hadn’t shared the details of their relationship with anyone, and, though they never discussed it, she was fairly sure that Tina had opted for the same lack of disclosure.  There just didn’t seem to be a way to explain their connection without an extraordinary amount of expository detail, and with everything else they were dealing with, justifying their behavior was hardly worth the effort.  Tina had been through enough without needing to run the gauntlet of public opinion.  And ultimately, Helena didn’t really care if anyone else understood it or not.  She knew that her presence was helping Tina.  If nothing else, her dogged persistence and tenacity had gotten Tina to start seeing Ronnie, which may have been the most important thing she could have done. 

But Helena also knew that having Tina in her life again, even under such tragic circumstances, was healing and nurturing.  The two of them had ended their relationship so abruptly, with loose threads and jagged ends, and Helena‘s own behavior-including her ridiculous dalliance with that child, Leigh Austin-in the aftermath of their breakup had been a huge source of shame and regret for her.  Now, though, she found that she was able to move beyond their unsettled past as she concentrated on building a strong and real friendship with Tina. And that was something that she greatly valued.  In addition, having Tina back in her life was drawing Helena out of what had become a nearly ascetic existence, and Helena was grateful for having a place of warmth and a sense of home to return to every night.  A place where it wasn’t merely her title or her position that mattered, but her heart and soul.  A place where she was missed in her absence, and welcomed for her presence.

Tina murmured in her dreams, and Helena gently shushed her.  “Sleep, Darling.  You just rest.  I’ll be right here.”