Fan Fiction
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Doctor: Hello, I wanted to check how you felt but I see you feel fine.
Bette: Uhm, yeah. I feel good…
Doctor: In about half an hour you should take your pills again with your lunch.
Bette: Okay, I will.
Doctor: Then I’m going again, bye.
Bette: Bye.
The doctor walked out, Tina and Bette looked at each other and busted out laughing.
Tina: Did you see his face?! Oh my God.
Bette: Who was more embarrassed? He or we?
After a while they stopped laughing. Tina smiled sexily at Bette.
Tina: Where were we?
Bette: I guess you were kissing me and your hand was on my breast, if I remember correctly…
They smiled at each other. Tina leaned in and kissed Bette again. Her hand found the way to Bette’s breast again. Bette’s good hand found also a way to Tina’s breast. They were both getting very excited but they also knew that they had to stop soon. Because they had to eat and Bette’s arm was too weak. Tina pulled back but still rested her forehead on Bette’s.
Tina: We have to eat soon, baby.
Bette: I’d rather eat out…
Tina laughed and playfully slapped Tina on her good arm.
Tina: Behave, Porter.
Then a nurse knocked on the door and walked in. She smiled when she saw the smiling couple in the bed.
Nurse: Hello you two. I’ve brought you some lunch.
Tina: Thanks.
Bette: Yeah, I’m hungry.
The nurse placed the trays with food in front of the women.
Nurse: Have a good day.
Bette: Bye!
The nurse walked back out. The two began eating and talking. Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Kit came walking through the door with Tina’s kids.
Kit: These two wanted to see how Bette was doing.
Nathaniel: Hello!
Patricia: Hi!
First the two children hugged their Mom.
Tina: You can’t hug Bette right now because you will maybe hurt her.
Nathaniel: Can I kiss your cheek then, Bette?
Bette smiled. He was so cute.
Bette: Yes.
Nathaniel moved closer and placed a wet kiss on Bette’s cheek.
Patricia: Me to!
Patricia did the same. Kit was looking with a smile on her face. The kids were so adorable.
Kit: So, sis, how are you?
Bette: I’m good. I don’t feel any discomfort except from my arm and that is only a little.
Kit: Wow, that’s good.
Tina: She is so strong…
Tina and Bette looked in each other’s eyes and smiled. Tina kissed Bette on her cheek.
Kit: Yeah, my sister is a real fighter.
Tina: She is.
Nathaniel: Fighting is bad.
Tina looked at her son and smiled.
Tina: Sometimes it’s good.
Nathaniel: You said we had to go to school today but we didn’t.
Tina: That’s because of what happened yesterday.
Patricia: Will Dad try to hurt us again, Mommy?
Tina: No, baby.
Tina saw the fear in Patricia’s eyes disappear.
Nathaniel: Can I see Dad?
Tina: If you want to you can see him in a couple of weeks.
They talked for a few more minutes but then Kit, Patricia and Nathaniel had to leave.
Bette: You have the sweetest kids ever.
Tina beamed with pride.
Tina: Thanks. Your son is not bad either.
Bette: Oh, I can’t wait to go home!
Tina smiled at Bette and placed her hand on her face.
Tina: Yes, but know you will have to take it easy for a while.
Bette: Yeah, my arm has to heal. I know.
Tina: Bette?
Bette: Yeah?
Tina: How do you see… uhm… you know… our future?
Bette smiled and took Tina’s hand.
Bette: First, I think we have to go to a trail and I have to heal. When Eric’s in jail, we have to try and find a routine. If you want to live with me, that’s okay. If you want to live alone with your kids for a while, then that’s okay to. Maybe, if everything works out, we could get married? I’m just thing about the far future so don’t get scared.
Tina smiled.
Tina: That sounds amazing… But I have a question for you…
Bette: Okay.
Tina: Don’t freak out. I know we are together for a very short time and what I’m talking about is for in about 5 years or more so not right now. Okay?
Bette smiled.
Bette: Sure.
Tina: Would you ever want to have another child?
Bette’s eyes grew big.
—-
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Oh, drama rama, never boring in this story;)) Wonder how will they make it. Post soon;)
JBL: Yeah, I know that can be annoying, but when you read it in books and stuff it doesn’t disturb you does it?^^ You just have to figure out to find a way to make it sound natural and I’d really like it if you’d try :D :D
From the medical point of view, an HIV test is more dependable after the patient do an RNA test after 10 days of the day he/she had contact with an infective source (blood, body fluids etc.). Although this method is more costly and it is used rarely in specialized units only. The most secure way to find about if someone is HIV+ is the special test of antibodies for HIV (ELISA, Western Blot), and it has to be 2 months after the contact with the infective source. I don’t know if this helps your story’s plan. What’s bothered me more though, is how your fictional doctor announced the news about the AIDS. There is something called “medical privacy” or “medical secret” (I don’t know the right term in english) and doctors can’t say anything about a patient’s situation. I know the problems that this causes to the family and friends of the patient, but it’s forbiden by law to share the patient’s condition with anyone. Especially patients who are examined for AIDS, doctors can only announce the results with the patient, not with parents, not with spouses and definately not with sisters or girlfriends!About the ratings, you really can’t help how people see your story. You just have to do your best. If it is bothering you, you have the choice to remove them. Just choose “no” at the available option when you log in. Putting the AIDS thing asside, the story is intriguing
5 stars! Loved it!
why do i have the feeling that Tina is already expecting. or mayb that is just me jumping the gun!
The ratings likely have to do with the plausibility of Bette being HIV +ve so soon… there’s suspension of disbelief for the sake of enjoying the story and then there are “WTH?” moments. There have been a few so far, but as Tina said, “[she] married the wrong guy. Shit happens.” I’m not trying to stifle your creativity, JBL… I’m just trying to explain how the ratings may have come about. I’m still reading to see how it goes, though, so I’ll try not to be silent in future. You have a lot of imagination so it’ll be interesting, no doubt. Cheers!
Yikes…I meant JP 22! Sorry about that.
I like the story and know it is plausable; keep going you are talented
JPss said it best. I love your stories too…but the HIV thing so fast was a head snapper for me…and I suppose others. It’s fanfic…creativity is always best…but a little grounding in reality always helps the reader stay emotionally invested. At least that’s the case in my view. I’m very interested in your story and look forward to more. Thank you
I have an idea to stop this HIV-thing. So you all don’t need to nag anymore LOL. So, I promise, this nonsense about HIV will stop. ;)
Thanks lizmar, I don’t really know how it goes in the US but here in Belgium it can be announced where family is present maybe not girlfriends but I have heared that it can if the patient is okay with it… Thanks for your comment and the HIV stuff will go away in the next part… The rating is better this time so I’m happy again :D
Maybe your right JBtlw90 but then I will have to use a lot of ‘she said’ and stuff so I think that it will get boring that way but maybe I can try it in my next part? ;) Thanks for your comment. And jp22 I didn’t say that only to you. It was also a joke, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I didn’t appreciate your comment or that I wanted to offend you. Sorry if I did.
i agre with the others… the ratings is probably due to the HIV part of this story… maybe at her next blood test she will have no trace of the HIV… just because the knife had it doesn’t mean bette will have it… lets hope the doc’s were able to clean the areas and she will test HIV free… and if the ratings contiue to bother you… turn them off… its on the page you post… pps
Well, I wasn’t nagging… but okay. ciao
Hey, before anything else,I’m enjoying this story :) but I agree with what the others said about the ratings (even though I didn’t say it was deserved^^), and also (it’s just an advice, please don’t get offended), I think your writing would take a whole new level if the dialogues weren’t presented that way. You know: “Tina: xxxxxxxxxxxxxBette: xxxxxxxxxxxx ” That kind of presentation is only used for screenplays or theater plays, not for novels or other stuff. You should try to present it in a more natural way, like: Bette then said, “xxx”. Just my opinion, I think it would improve your already great stories. Anyway, thank you and please post soon :)