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Backstory ~ Chapter 12
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Bette made sure that her facial expression did not reflect the triumphant gloat to which she felt entitled as she saw Ms. Vonnegut, the school director, approaching.
Less than a week earlier, the Director had invoked the school’s no tolerance policy for violence to expel Angelica when the four year old had pulled Little Red Riding Hood from her teacher’s hands and threw it into the classroom’s garbage can because she felt that the book lied about wolves.
Bette, in her own unique combination of alpha female and mama bear, had overturned the Director’s action in a campaign that had begun even before she and Tina had arrived home from their meeting with the Director.
The elite of L.A. begged admittance for their children, so the Director was immune to threats or bribes. The most successful line of attack had been through Alice, who had gotten LA Magazine to commission an article about the culture at L.A.’s elite private schools. Alice, of course, sought and was granted an interview with Ms. Vonnegut, head of one of most elite of those elite schools.
Alice, surprisingly, was subtle. She waited until 15 minutes into the interview before pouncing.
“Ms. Vonnegut, I can’t write a story about schools without discussing how each school creates a safe environment for learning.”
“I understand. It is important that the children feel secure and it is important to the parents that we do our best to protect their children from harm while they are in our care.”
“What practices and procedures have you put in place to foster that safe environment?”
“We have taken several steps. We have created a secure campus, with rigorous control over who can enter or leave the grounds. We have strived, though, to minimize attention to this system, so that the children are not confronted reminders of the dangers that lurk.”
“Well, I certainly saw nothing.”
“Then it is working.” Director Vonnegut smiled.
“What about inside the school?”
“We have created an environment that is warm and nurturing, where every child is valued. We cherish each child entrusted to us and we make certain that every child understands that. Every child knows that he or she may speak to any of us, faculty or staff, whenever they are troubled. Our school psychologist is actively involved in our learning process. He regularly examines each child’s creative projects to determine his or her happiness or alienation. We speak to the parents immediately and arrange for interventional counseling at the first signs that a child is not appropriately happy.”
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I have to get some sleep, otherwise I’d read this now. So glad to see this. Thanks.
i tried to read every 3rd page, then every 2nd page…but i decided that Tolstoy has nothing on you and I read it all…brilliant, entertaining, hilarious…loved it
Very funny. Love Aunt cranky hunter.
Hahahahaha…Spumoni, where did you get your imagination and humour from…it is unbelievable! As far as I’m concerned, you could have kept on writing cause I would have kept on redaing. Thanks for the update, it was truly precious!
Well, i couldn’t get through War and Peace, so i kinda gave up after a few tries… Your story is always quite an enjoyable read! Thanks for posting!
Ha-ha Spumoni! This is a jewel! I love your humor…I love the scene of Bette realizing that she’s taking all those animals home, trying to grab Tina for help, and keep Angie happy. You have several great one-liners! Too good! Thanks for making my day!
ROFLMAO welcome back , i love this story!!:)PPS
OH man, I love this story. Bette was hilarious but I too would have done the same thing. Maybe a visit from the wolves to the school would set the two women straight, or scare the hell out of them. Where is the jar, I said a bad word.
Now I don´t think Tolstoy´s famous for his wit. Never really felt like laughing reading War and Peace, but Alice, Mrs. Vonnegut, Troubles and a hyperventilating Bette with a burping snake in the back seat….now that´s a classic. Hilarious update. Thanks.
U r just too much!!! U make Bette absolutely lovable. I can totally picture Ange-poor patient strong resolute Tina carrying responsibility for all of them-and vegan Trouble is too cute…That has cheered me up so much.
i’ve never had so much fun … entertaining, hysterically funny, and full of spumoni wit and humor. trouble should get a squirrel for his efforts. with chocolate on top.
Thanks that was great. I don’t know but your pot brownies must be really good. :) Or is there a better explanation for your wonderful hilarious story . I love it and thank God that trouble is as sweet as he is.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! Ah, we certainly enjoyed this hylarious update, sweetie. Hmm It was a bit of a nightmare, at first, for Bette to have all those pets to watch. Hehehe But we think that Trouble did a wonderful sentinel job. *wink* Plus, the distraction was welcomed by the wolfies, although they didn’t understand why all those animals were not delivered as meal. Hehehe Oh, this was a joyful reading, dearest friend. Thanks for the laughs. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I was really proud of Trouble this chapter. Is he a vegetarian? Vonnegut must be crushed. If she thinks she’s going to slight la famille P-K in a years-long campaign, and win, then I think she needs to be brought down in a subtle counter-strike of equal length. Great chapter, Spumoni. Love the humor in this. Thanks! :)
I did a very happy dance when I seen youe post. I love Troubles. Je loves Bette so much that he tool care of her pets. I love aminals and after have 4 boys they did become a part of our lifes. You name it we had it. Goat s.horses.yes a pig.rats snakes lizards. Cant forget the dogs and cats. Now I,m to old the boys are gone so just some dogs and cat. thankyou so much for this wonderful story
LMAO! This whole post was just absolutely hilarious. I’d read Backstory over War and Peace any day. After all, who needs peace when you have Bette Porter freaking out? lol. Trouble is just cuter and cuter every day. I love that he guarded that hamster. I don’t think anyone could manage to read every second or third page. I was eagerly hoping for more pages to magically appear, actually. Ciao, yarrrrr!
Definitely Tolstoy has nothing on you … it was a brilliant chapter and there was really nothing you could do to edit it or change it – was perfect as it is :) And I really couldn’t sip pages – this story is just too excellent :) Thank you :)
Crap, I thought Bette was supposed to be smart! How come she just didn’t invent a whole series of terrible allergies for Tina that would have prevented them housing the menagerie? Thank you for bringing this back.
Can’t imagine skipping one word much less a page or two!! Absolutely hilarious! The thought of Bette with all those cages… and then the wolves waiting for their special dinner… so funny. Made me think back to my son finding me on top of the kitchen table screaming like a lunatic after seeing his snake slither across the floor. Always look forward to the trials and tribulations of Pinky’s Beloved. Thanks, Spumoni!