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    Backstory ~ Chapter 13a

    Story written on November 11, 2009 by Spumoni.
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    Genre(s):
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    Number of Comments: 15
    Words: 2761
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=74513
    Author Notes:

    Tina’s been out of touch

     

    “So, it is better to lose on one of the reality shows,” Tina asked.

     

    “Yeah.  The winners are tied into contracts and stuff.  The losers almost always have the better careers.  Except Kelly Clarkson. She won her year”

     

    “So, they lose, then they get a show based on losing?”

     

    “Well, only if they are a little off.  I mean, they have to be interesting to watch.”

     

    “Interesting?”

     

    “Generating snippets of good stuff out of hours of film. You know, characters.”

     

    “Like you?”

     

    “Let me help.  You are too boring for reality TV.  Level headed.  Normal. Watching an executive execute.  Boring.”

     

    Tina nodded, beginning to understand.

     

    “Bette, though.  She is good TV.”

     

    “Bette!”

     

    “Sure, egocentric professors.  Star-struck students.  Think of those temper tantrums, big and small.  Interactions with James.  Throwing desk objects. Just the bleeps alone would make good TV.  Then she comes home and is this loving pussy-whipped wife.  And you’re lesbians.  Reality TV gold.  Well, maybe silver.  Maybe only on PBS.”

     

    “Bette is not pussy-whipped.”

     

    “I’m not saying that. Well, maybe a little bit.  Alright.  More than a little bit.  But not completely.  And the producers would exaggerate it.  Just because, well, that is what they do,” Alice retreated from her ill-chosen words..  “Why are you asking about this?  Has someone asked her to do a show?  Quirky but loyal and wise friends are regulars, you know.”

     

    “No, no.  I just came out of a pitch meeting and I needed a reality check and, surprisingly, I called you.  Somehow I have lost touch with the current tastes in music and in television and what constitutes celebrity these days.”

     

    “You and Porter have been cocooned too much.  Time to emerge from the honeymoon cottage and join the world. “

     

    “Yeah.  Maybe it’s time.”

     

     

    ~~

     

     

    Tina strategized about her dilemma and developed a battle plan.

     

    ~~

     

    “T, tell me again.  Why are you getting up so early?” Bette called to the woman splashing water all over the bathroom sink.

     

    “Sorry, babe.”  Tina came to the door, her face sudsy.  “I was trying to be quiet.”

     

    Bette knew that Tina was sincere, that she truly thought that she was being quiet.  However, the reality was that a car wash was quieter than Tina was, even when doing simple basic morning grooming.  It wasn’t just that Tina splashed noisily.  She also splashed messily.  Bette had always thought that the bathroom, after an encounter with Tina, looked as if an elephant had been using its trunk to give itself a shower.

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    Comments

    4. Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! *waving* Oh my! So many warnings on your AN! Hehehe Ah, we are so addicted to the wolfies story that an update from you is like a life saver to a hectic and problematic day. We thank profusely your beautiful half, for suggesting you to write another epic of this marvelous story that we love. You left us with a HUGE smile on our lips, dear friend, longing for the next post. This was like having an exquisite dessert, after a delicious meal. Thank you for this joyful installment. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)

    5. Before I read a word of this chapter, please let me say thank you for bringing back this story, it has been missed. I love it as well as Humminger. This one makes me howl with laughter no matter what you write. It is so farfetched and so damned funny. Thanks for writing it. Now on to read, I will be back with a comment.

    6. Before I read a word of this chapter, please let me say thank you for bringing back this story, it has been missed. I love it as well as Humminger. This one makes me howl with laughter no matter what you write. It is so farfetched and so damned funny. Thanks for writing it. Now on to read, I will be back with a comment.

    10. Spumogan!!! You return, and with my favorite (well, no, I love Humminger too… And anything that features Bronwyn… well, never mind. One of my favorite) story! I haven’t read yet – I was going to, I really was, and then you said I needed to watch She Wolf first and I may get kicked out of my house if music blasts out of my computer at 1:30am (never mind laugh rather loudly) – but I wanted to send Mrs. Cadoniz a humongous hug for requesting this. The author notes alone, with their long-winded explanation of the background here, made me ecstatic. I’ll comment properly tomorrow, when I can blast music with impunity and guffaw to my heart’s content :D

    13. I am loving your partner for asking for this story. I started laughing with the author’s note and continued until the end…genius indeed! Empathize completely with Tina’s lack of reality TV interest. I wouldn’t get out of the electric chair to watch most of it. Loved all the one-liners and look forward to the return of the wolves. I’m hoping your partner is also requesting a chapter of Humminger… pretty please!!

    14. “Just the bleeps alone would make good TV.” It’s lines like this one that make it so I cannot read this when everyone else is asleep. I spat on my computer screen. Why are you so freaking awesome? And wow, that video… Wow. I’ve got no words, none at all. Tina’s disconnect from the celebrity world made me laugh. In fact, the whole thing made me laugh (well, except for the peanut butter/spaghetti thing. That just made me a little nauseated). Thanks, Spumogan!!! Oh, and where are the wolves here? Because hot fudge and ice cream would, I imagine, not make very good lupine food.

    15. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you (pause for breath) thank you, thank you, thank you…well, you get the idea. Sucks not having internet. Unlike Tina, I have no professional need to worry what the kids are up to. Even without kids of my own. And since there is no professional need, I can comfortably not give a crap. For one thing, most of what the young folk are into seems highly derivative and unoriginal, dare I say FAMILIAR in an unflattering way. And although I enjoyed seeing how limber Shakira is, the audio portion I found forgettable. I couldn’t help but notice the lack of a lupine presence in this chapter. Will you please have them come sniffing around soon? Can you make us some of your fine Humminger soon as well?

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