Fan Fiction
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Backstory ~ Chapter 9
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“You fucking idiot,” she yelled. “Stop that right now.”
Red turned his head to look at her, but he finished his task before trotting back into the house. Bette was right behind.
“What the fuck were you doing?’
He ignored her.
“Don’t you trot away from me,” Bette yelled. “How dare you piss in my yard!”
Red stopped and turned to face his angry sister-in-law. His upper lip began to twitch, though he was making an effort to control his instinctive response.
Tina and her father had awakened at the noise and had rushed to the hallway.
“What’s going on?” Tina asked Bette.
“T, he was pissing against the garden fence,” Bette replied in an angry voice that turned weepy, “Your beautiful garden, T. It never looked the same while you were gone.” Bette looked pleadingly at Tina, “”I tried to keep it up, in case you ever came back, but I couldn’t. You’ve made it beautiful again. I love your garden.”
Tina hid her amusement at Bette’s drunken ramblings. “Baby, it’s a beautiful garden,” she said soothingly as she hugged Bette and rubbed her back.
Tina turned her head to her brother, “Red, what were you doing?”
“She,” he nodded his snout at Bette, “hasn’t marked the house. What kind of pack leader doesn’t mark. I was doing it for her.”
“You did what? Are you an idiot? There are no wild animals in West Hollywood.”
“You think humans aren’t animals?”
“Stop. You are being disrespectful,” the father chastised.
“My family is here, too, and I have to act to protect them if she doesn’t.”
Tina released her grip on Bette and turned to completely face her brother as she howled, “Fuck you, Red. We are all safe here without any territory marking. If you don’t think so, then leave.”
Bette was confused and probably would have been confused even without the impairment from the scotch.
“T?”
Tina was staring at her brother and did not hear her partner.
“T?”
“Yes, baby,” Tina replied without looking at Bette.
T, what’s going on?”
“Nothing to worry about, baby.”
”Why is it a big deal if I mark?”
“Red,” the patriarch snarled, “It’s not our territory and we have to respect her decision.”
“My god, T. He was marking, wasn’t he?”
“Don’t get upset, baby, he doesn’t underst…”
“My god. He was marking. He was marking our yard!”
“Calm down. He won’t again.”
“He thinks I haven’t protected my family.”
“Bette…”
“So, he wants the territory marked,” Bette begun to stomp away with as much determination as a very tipsy woman could manage. As she stormed towards the French doors leading to the yard, she pulled at the drawstrings of her yoga pants, “How dare he! If anyone is going to mark my house, it is going to be me!”
“Bette, no!” Tina ran after Bette, who had managed to pull her pants down to her hips and now was moving forward in odd irregular steps caused by the downward movement of the yoga pants. “Stop!”
As Tina ran to catch Bette, she turned her head towards her brother, “See what you started.”
As the women disappeared from sight, the father shook his head at his son in disappointment, “She is going to mark the fence.”
“Finally!” Red replied triumphantly
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Hmmmmm…well, now I’m wondering what technique Bette will employ. Squat? Leg Lift? Please not a ‘Moira on the road from Skokie’. Oy.
Oh oh. When Bette are sober again she will suffer a bit more. Maybe T can safe her from humiliating herself.
Hahahahahahaha….I just caught up with this…that was hysterical!
This is hilarious. Bette marking the fence had me rolling. I can’t wait to see if she is successful with marking her territory.
the return of the wolves…YESSS!! and it was great…hilarious…loved it…and thank you :)
Fantastic!
I sympathize with Bette, having your house overrun by in-laws isn’t good for short stays, let alone seemingly endless ones. She’s been more than patient, she’s been a saint. I’m shocked Red hasn’t been turfed out to fend for himself. He’s nearly intolerable, the perfect example of the brother-in-law no one ever wants and always seems to get. I hope after Bette’s done marking her territory (if she’s able, with her pants round her knees, ha!), she gets some alone time with her family. She’s more than earned it. Thanks!
I so love this story, My puppy is now just starting to mark my yard,all the trees,flowers and anything else. Love that Red was trying to protect Bette house,now how will Bette mark her yard, The visions I have in my head thanks
Hi there, dear sweet Spumoni! We are doing our happy dance here. Yaaayyy!! The wolfies are back! It is endearing everything that Bette does, for the love of her family. We are wondering what Bette’s technics to mark will be? Hahaha Oh my Gosh! This was just hilarious! We are laughing SO hard here. Thanks for bringing that needed laugh. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I so like this story if I haven’t told you yet. Thank you for positing. I hope T stops Bette from doing something she’ll regret once she’s sober :)
Well now I’m feeling really sorry for Bette. I’ve had my home over run by in-laws taking over and it does become suffocating. Perhaps its time for the wolves to go home and T can always go visit them sometime. In the meantime, she needs to be sleeping with Bette or I need her sleeping with our Bette. Lol.