I took her hand slowly and placed the gun firmly in her hands. I placed the right hand on the holder and the left hand at the bottom; supporting the weight and stability of the gun. She was shaking a little. “Now listen carefully… you see this switch here; just push it forward and then place a finger on the trigger and just pull…” I said; she looked at me and nodded. She was really quiet nervous. I wasn’t sure if she was taking in what I was saying.

“Can you repeat what I just said….?” I said softly.

“Uhm… Uhh…” She started. The gun were shaking in her hand

“Sshhh… It’s okay… slowly…” I said.

She licked her bottom lip and nodded vigorously and tried to remember what I said. “Uhm; the switches there… push it forward…. finger on the trigger; pull…” She said to me.

I nodded as she finished. “Good girl…” I said. “Do you know where to aim?” I asked her. She shakes her head ‘no’ and I could tell that she didn’t want to do any of this. I hated my self for this; corrupting this innocent soul in front of me. “Okay… when you hold it out; try and aim here…” I did an invincible line with my right hand; from the top of my forehead to my belly button and from the left of my chest to the right; like a cross sign.

“Any of these areas… and they’re gone…” I said coldly.

“O-okay…” She held her arms down and looked at me.

“I have to go… Jenny’s waiting in her car…”

The look in her eyes didn’t want me to go; the look in her eyes didn’t want me to do any of this… but she knows she can’t stop me.

“Shane… can I change your mind about any of this….” She said desperately.

“No… I’m sorry….” I said.

“You don’t have to do this you know… you don’t have to do what your dad says…” She tried again to convince me.

“Carmen… you words are not going to stop me; this is who I am and this is what I do…” I said. We were so close that I felt like making love to her right then and there.