I got my self up and went to her side; I took hold of one of her hand. “All of this is a burden for you… about me; my background; what I do… and the fact that you love me…isn’t it?” I asked. I secretly know that this is all killing her. She looked up at m and was quiet. I know that it is; I was secretly getting angry at her. I think I’m upsetting her with my words.

“Stop it…” She said slowly.

“Carmen… why don’t you tell me what you really want?” I asked. She stayed quiet and I couldn’t take it.

“Tell me what it is you want… tell me what it is to make you smile…” I asked her.

“I don’t know what I want…” I was disappointed with her answer. I wanted to hear “you…”, “I want you…” but some part of me didn’t want to believe that she didn’t know.

“You don’t know what you want…” I repeated her words.

“I mean… I know what I want; I’m just not sure if what I want is the right thing…” She said.

“So you don’t know if I am the right thing or not…” She looked at me like “How did you know?” I could only smile and held her hand tighter. “What else could it be… you don’t know if I am the right thing for you…? I know that question been running through your head for a while…” I said. I was merely nearly heartbroken to hear that she is unsure about me; I had to laugh at my self… the thing I love so much had such little faith on me.

“I’m just confused…” She said. I nodded at her words and I had to take in her prettiness.

“About what?” I asked.

“About you…. about us…”

“You know everything there is to know about me…” I said; my tone slightly annoyed. She looked at me as if I’m lying. I let go of her hand and got up from the bed.

I didn’t know what this means. Was this the end of us? Simply because she is confused about us… whatever that fucking means.