“Shhh,” I whisper, rubbing my hand over your back, feeling your lean muscles and fragile shoulders give in to the comforting pressure of my touch.  “Shhhh.  Don’t cry.  Don’t cry, Shane.  It’s all right.”

Your grip on me tightens by increments until it feels like you could break me.  So strong, but always so careful.  You let go of me and take half a step back, sniffling and wiping at your face with the sleeve of your jacket, embarrassed.  I catch your arm by the elbow and gently pull it away from your face.  Another weak sniffle and I see another tear slide down your cheek.  You avoid my eyes, but I don’t mind.  I know how much something like this has cost you and I’m so grateful to you for it. 

“I take it back,” I say, clasping your hand in both of my own.  “It’s okay if you want to cry.”  You squeeze my hand, hard, but don’t look up.  “Cry your ***** eyes out if you want, okay?  You’re allowed.”  You chuckle and it’s a thick, choked sound in your throat.  “Okay?  I’m serious.”

“God, I’m gonna miss you.” You laugh and hook your free arm around my neck, pulling me in for another hug.  “I’m gonna miss you so ***** much, Jen.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” I whisper.  I hold your right hand in my own and slip my left arm around your shoulders, holding you back.  “But that’s why you’re gonna write to me and call me.  I’ll take your calls and answer all of your letters and that way, we won’t miss each other as much.  Okay?”  I lean back and look up at you and you’re nodding.  “Does that sound good?”

“Yeah.” You nod.  Fresh tears well in your eyes, but don’t fall, this time.  “It sounds good.”

“I’m gonna write you every day,” I say as I reach up and gently wipe the tears from your cheeks, “and you can just call me whenever.  I know you and Carmen are gonna try to work things out, though, so you just call me when you find the time.  You and Carmen come first.”  You look up at me and I can see your mouth opening to protest.  “No arguing with me about this,” I say.  “This thing with Carmen is important for you, okay?  So you take care of you and her, first.  I’ll have people to take care of me where I’m going.  So don’t worry about that.”  I reach down and carefully smooth the lapels and the silhouette of your jacket.  “Okay?”