“Of course not,” Tina smiled. “Okay, it might be a bit unusual, but I guess everyone has different interests. To tell you a secret, I love reading as well. I don’t bother to tell my friends, they wouldn’t understand.”

“They’re your friends. It shouldn’t matter to them.”

“Oh, Bette, please. This is high school, you know what most people are like.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be one of them.”

“I guess that’s why you’re stronger than I am. You don’t care what everybody thinks. I’m stuck in this role. I came here looking all American and everybody had certain expectations of me. Because they had those expectations, they were open to me behaving like that. It was easy for me, too. I was new, scared, didn’t know a soul. I was glad that people clearly wanted me to be a certain person, because I sure as hell didn’t know who I was back then. Over the years, it gets more and more impossible to step out of the role. You know, Bette, you’ll find that your behaviour is always dependent on what people expect you to behave like. Take racism. If black people feel they are discriminated and people only expect them to behave like total scum, they’ll try to show who they are at first, but in the end they’ll give up and behave like scum because nobody cares anyway.”

Admittedly, Bette was very surprised that this point of view was coming from Tina. She hadn’t thought that this gorgeous blonde could surprise her. Finally, she cleared her throat and said: “I don’t care what people think I’ll behave like.”

“So you wouldn’t have a problem to go to school and act as if you’re only interested in boys and booze?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Bette said, a little irritated as she knew that Tina knew she wouldn’t do this.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not me.”

“Would people buy it if you did that?”

“Of course not.”

“Why not?”

“Because they know that’s not who I am.”

Tina faked the sound that comes up when someone gives a wrong answer in a television quiz. “Because you’re not behaving like the person they think you are. But how on Earth would they know? Maybe you really are only interested in boys and booze. Now, imagine that really is the truth. You wake up in the morning and it’s all you care about. What will you do at school? Behave like you always do – because people expect you to. You know people talk about you and you don’t want to draw any more attention to you than there already is.”

“Where does all of this come from, Tina?” Bette asked with raised eyebrows.

Tina sighed and lifted her arms so she fell down on the large towel. “I have been thinking a lot. Through the years, I mean. And reading a lot. I have read so many interesting things, thought them over, written those thoughts down. I have a box full of diaries. But I find that I miss someone to talk to, someone who understands. I think you would understand. I know I only have one more year to go, but I’m sick and tired of being the empty-headed cheerleader. Maybe I was like that when I came from North Carolina – I didn’t know anything. But I’ve changed. I can’t go to my so-called friends with these thoughts, though. They’d declare me mad.”

“Why don’t you just drop them then and make new friends? Why should you behave like they expect you to?”

“Because it’s easy. Because it’s your life as you’re used to it and I’m having enough problems as it is.”

“What do you mean?”

Tina smiled a bitter smile. She looked over at her friends, but turned away quickly. “Maybe I can talk about that later. I just… you have to understand that coming to you now is a big step for me, Bette. It’s what I’ve been planning to do for month. But I wanted to get it right. I didn’t want you to think I was stupid, saying stupid stuff. You might as well think that now, but at least I tried. And to tell you the truth, I was scared. Scared of what people would say. But I’m sick of it and it doesn’t matter as much anymore. I want to talk to you for hours on end. Ever since I arrived, I noticed you. You were different. Quiet, intellectual, beautiful without knowing it. I have always looked up to you.”