Her voice grew louder and full of rage, “it was your choice to be with another woman!” She pounded her chest and screamed out loud! “When I needed you the most you were not there for me, I could feel it Bette! I felt you slipping away from me emotionally, physically.” She collapsed on the couch, crying uncontrollability she tried to control her breathing, as she continued. “I want to believe you, I want to trust you again Bette.”  Her eyes swollen and blood shot she wiped her tears away. “I thought being with another woman would help ease my pain.” Tina’s voice was raspy she cleared her throat, “I wanted so badly to get even with you, but I realized I was wrong.”

A death of quiet fell over the room, Bette stood still her body shaking and cold. She opened her mouth trying to speak, but the words would not come out. She was paralyzed by truth.  Finally she gathered enough strength and said, “you’re right,” she sighed, her voice rattled as she spoke. “I was weak in a time of crisis. I should have found refuge with you. I.I.”  Bette swallowed and fought the lump building in her throat. “I allowed myself to find it with a stranger. When we loss of our son, the battle going on between Kit and I, everything that was happening at the CAC brought me to a halt Tina. I wanted it all to go away, instead I went away.” Bette stared out the window holding her self trying to fight the chill. “None of that was excuse enough to commit infidelity,” she continued. “I know that now, I know and it’s to ***** late!” She turned once again and looked over at Tina. “It wasn’t worth losing you.” Her words were like fuel once again building a fire of anger. “How could a woman of my stature fall prey to such behavior, how do we lose ourselves knowing deep inside what the out come will be. I lied to you and I lied to myself. I never expected our life together to turn out this way.  I’ve been ashamed of myself. I haven’t been able to forgive myself, but I expect you to forgive me. Isn’t that funny?” She laughed then began to cry even harder than before. Bette now felt an emptiness she couldn’t wish away. She keep looking out into the darkness, one thought ringing true in her head, she had failed the woman she loved more than life it’s self.  She could keep on trying to fight it, but her fight was over. Somehow she had to get her brain around it. She walked towards the door, her body in a tangled knot of pain. As she reached for her bag and the keys to the truck, Tina stood up from the sofa. Bette put her hand on the door ***** then stood there momentarily.