“Did you listen to her message?” Helena asked sharply.

“Her picture popped up. You don’t want me to listen to your messages?” Bette asked coolly.

“I have nothing to hide,” Helena snapped defensively.

Did Helena realize they’d fallen into old patterns? Would she wonder why? Ask herself how that could be? Would she bring it up so Bette wouldn’t have to?

“Hmm. Are all thirty-five of your saved messages from me?” Bette found herself asking. Those messages were a surprise. Because mostly she didn’t have any memory of leaving some of the ones she’d listened to.

Which wasn’t surprising since she’d sounded pretty drunk on most of them.

The fact that Helena had kept them made her uneasy. Made her hope and feel sick at the same time.

Their time had come and gone and all she could do was pick up the pieces.

Helena was silent.

Patterns. Habits. She had to break them.

“I have to go, Bette.”

She’s running again and I don’t blame her.

I should let her go, Bette told herself.

I will let her go but in my own time and in my own way.

“Does that scare you? Me remembering you?” she asked genuinely curious.

“Bette I have to go,” Helena repeated sounding slightly panicked.

“You haven’t answered me,” was all Bette said.

“I really need to–“

“Why not? We’re friends aren’t we?” Bette couldn’t help but ask sarcastically.

Helena had lied to her. Taken advantage of her and then run off afraid to face the consequences. What kind of fucking friends were they? Had Helena ever been a friend?

There were only a few occasions that Bette had felt friendly towards her in the proper sense of the word. Other than that her thoughts about Helena had been decidedly unfriend like. Illegal even.

“Because I’m trying to move on, Bette,” Helena said tiredly sighing.

“So we can never be friends? Because I hurt you?” She really wanted to know the answer to this. Wanted to know what Helena would say to her.

Let it be the truth.

“Let’s not–“

“Because I hurt you, right?” Bette pressed. Tell me the truth and I’ll set you free, Helena.

“You didn’t hurt me,” the words fell stiltedly from Helena’s mouth.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” Bette whispered and meant every word. But knew that she wasn’t done hurting Helena, because Helena hadn’t told the truth.

Helena was still holding back with her and running scared.

Perhaps their roles were reversed now.

Bette chasing. Helena running.

Bette had to get to the bottom of this. Had to know why she’d hurt Helena, why Helena had let her, and why she couldn’t let Helena go.

She knew Helena wanted this to end and that she was halfway out the door but Bette could still feel Helena clinging to her.

They weren’t done yet.

“Let’s just forget about it.”

“I remembered something last night. I thought I would remember something about you. But it was about Kit,” Bette said conversationally. Not the truth but close enough as far as she was concerned.

There was no easy way to do this. By understanding herself she was going to have to hurt Helena again. But that was the only way that she could fix what was broken inside of her. And it was the only way to completely free herself from Helena.

“I have to go. Really. Keep the phone. Goodbye.”

She listened to sound of silence for a moment before she closed the phone.

She’d had the chance to tell Helena and she hadn’t.

In fact she hadn’t told anyone.

And she wouldn’t tell anyone.

At least not yet.

She’d been given a second chance and there was no way she’d squander it.