Chapter 28

Angelica sat at the kitchen table with her hand propping her tired head up while she stared at the homework in front of her. She sighed and began to tap her pencil in frustration before slamming the book shut and allowing her head to fall onto the table.

“I hate this,” Angelica mumbled.

“It can’t be that bad,” Megan said looking up from her own project she was deeply engrossed in. “What’s the subject?”

“Art history,” Angelica smiled when a shocked look crossed Megan’s face.

“The daughter of Bette Porter struggles with art history?” Megan chuckled, but quickly controlled her laughter as it spurred a coughing fit.

Megan tried to hide the sadness that flashed in her eyes as she adjusted the oxygen line that always rested between her nose and upper lip. It was a fight Megan was sad to lose, but the fact remained that constant use of oxygen was essential now.

“What’s the assignment?” Megan asked struggling to abandon the project in front of her and wheel her chair to the other side of the table where Angelica sat.

“Matching these stupid artists to their work or why they’re famous.”

“I’d hope to be on a high school worksheet one day,” Megan smiled as she picked up the paper and looked at it. “Maybe that’s the true test that you’ve arrived as an artist.”

“I doubt Lincoln High School really is a good judge of these things,” Angelica said causing Megan to laugh once more. “Why did I think it’d be a good idea to take this stupid class?”

“Because everyone tells you you’re like your Mama B, but in reality your interests are far more progressive like your Mom’s. Have you looked at any of Bette’s books?”

“I hate those,” Angelica admitted. “I’d much prefer Mama B give me the answers since she already knows this junk.”

Angelica’s eyes lit up as her mind processed what she had admitted to Megan. She looked in Megan’s direction, hopeful for an offer that wasn’t being made. She arched her eyebrow, which brought a smile to Megan’s face, and smiled back as dazzling as she could.

“Oh no,” Megan shook her head. “If the art work isn’t mine then I have no clue.”

“You’re an artist!”

“That doesn’t mean that I know the history of my profession,” Megan said shaking her head back and forth. “I have a good eye for art and know my own very well, that’s as far as you’ll get with me.”

“Begging Megan to do your art homework are you?” Tina asked as she entered the house and threw her keys down on the table near the door.

“Begging is a strong word,” Angelica defended herself.

Tina bent down and kissed Angelica on the head and then walked past Megan, touching her arm that was resting on the arm of the wheelchair briefly, before passing through to the kitchen and placing her briefcase down against a wall.

“Where’s Sarah?”

“Uncle Angus and Aunt Kit took her to the park for some play group thing,” Angelica answered as Tina opened a bottle of Pellegrino and took a long sip.

Tina brought her bottle of water to the table and joined Angelica and Megan thankful to rest her tired feet.

“Mom,” Angelica moved the homework sheet over to the other side of the table where Tina was sitting, but was already met with her mother’s shaking head.

“No, I know anything about that stuff, and I’m too tired to help you search through your book. You need to do the work.”

“They aren’t in this book,” Angelica whined.

“Then look in Mama B’s collection.”

“I hate those books, and there are so many of them that it’s overwhelming.”

“Mama B will be home in a half hour, I suggest you go over there and attempt to look through some of them before she gets here so when she does, she can at least see the well rehearsed show before you pounce on her for the answers.”

“I could just call Cathy and ask her if she has the answers,” Angelica mumbled not realizing she was vocal with her thoughts.

“Cheating?” Tina arched her eyebrow over her bottle of water. “You’ll never learn it if you don’t do the work.”

“I’ll never use it, so all I have to worry about is memorizing it the day before and then I can forget it after the test.”

“Sounds like such a well thought out plan,” Tina said sarcastically as Megan wheeled herself back to her own project. “Go and start looking before Mama B comes home.”

“How was your day?” Megan asked as she flipped the page before her and picked up a pair of scissors to begin to cut pieces of paper.

“Exhausting with the prima donnas of this industry,” Tina finished her water and placed the empty bottle in front of her. “I’m getting too old for this type of work.”

“You’re not too old,” Megan laughed as she pasted a picture into the book in front of her.

“What is that you’re working on?”

“A scrapbook for Sarah,” Megan scooted it over for Tina to look at. “It has some pictures of Janet and I, some news articles about my work, I’ve written some things to her that I want her to know when she’s older.”

“That’s amazing,” Tina let her fingers trace the patterns that were perfectly placed on the page of the book in front of her. “This is the best idea to do something like this.”

“I wanted to get it done earlier, but the show exhausted me for so long I just couldn’t. I’ll show it to you and Bette so you can explain some of the photos I chose if she asks.”

Angelica looked up from one of Bette’s books with tears in her eyes. She knew it was hard for everyone, seemingly waiting for the metaphorical other shoe to drop, yet it was essential that everyone be prepared. Angelica wiped a stray tear and looked down, burying her head once again in Bette’s books.

“I’d be honored,” Tina said swallowing the lump in her throat. “Do you need any help with it?”

“No, but thanks, I think it’s something I need to do for myself.”

“Then you leave me no choice but to read boring scripts,” Tina teased to lighten the mood. “I asked Bette to pick up a pizza on her way home. After the day I’ve had I refuse to cook.”

“I thought we were having chicken again?” Angelica piped up from the living room.

“Oh now you like chicken?” Tina teased causing Angelica to blush. “We could but I’m not cooking which would leave it up to Mama B. This is why I asked her to bring home a pizza.”

“I can cook,” Bette opened the door balancing two pizzas in one hand, her keys in the other, and her purse and briefcase on her shoulder. “I can’t believe you still all assume I can’t make a decent meal.”

“I didn’t assume that,” Megan said hiding her smile.

“And because of that vote of confidence,” Bette smiled in Megan’s direction. “You and I get to share the pieces with the most cheese.”

“I saw her smile,” Angelica tattled on Megan earning her a wink from the artist.

“Come abandon what you’re doing Boo and set the table,” Bette set the pizzas down in the middle as Megan worked to clean up her scrapbook supplies. “How was your day?”

Bette leaned down and kissed Tina gently on the lips.

“It sucked.”

“Oh no, again?”

“I’m demanding a raise from Helena,” Tina smiled as she opened the top pizza box and picked a pepperoni off of the piece nearest her. “On top of my miserable day, I have a ton of scripts to read through.”

“Why can’t you hire someone to do that?”

Bette opened the refrigerator, dodging Angelica who was carrying a stack of plates to the table, and took out a bottle of wine. She found two glasses, knowing Megan wouldn’t partake in the simple occasion of celebrating the day’s end, and poured her and Tina a glass.

“It’s not like you aren’t successful enough, that’s why all these scripts are coming to you.”

“I have final say in what gets made,” Tina quickly placed a piece of pizza on a plate for Megan and handed it to her. “These are ones that a staff of people went through already.”

“That’s so cool,” Angelica sat down with a slice of pizza and a smile.

“Please, not another movie junky,” Bette teased as she began to eat.

“It’s better than this art stuff,” Angelica shot back. “Which reminds me, I need some help in my art class again. I don’t know why I ever took this class.”

“Because the difference between a civilized and uncivilized society is simply art,” Bette said with passion. “God those words, I can still remember the professor that said that in my class.”

“Well I disagree,” Angelica took a sip of water. “So I guess it’s a good thing I don’t want to go to Yale.”

“Even if you wanted to, I won’t pay for it.”

“I could scholarship,” Angelica shot back.

“I don’t think anyone does that unless you’re a 9 year old biochemist, astrophysics, world wonder,” Tina said making Bette and Megan laugh. “Clearly you’re too cool for that so you’ll be stuck at my alma mater.”

“What?” Angelica’s eyes shot up thinking Tina had already made her college decision for her years in advance. “Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely,” Tina smiled grabbing another piece. “Out of state tuition is brutal.”

Angelica rolled her eyes and focused her energy on the slice of pizza before her. Megan seemed a bit quiet, prompting Bette to get Tina’s attention from across the table. She looked at Megan and then arched an eyebrow, as if to ask if Tina knew what was bothering Megan. Tina shrugged and nodded her head in Megan’s direction encouraging Bette to ask her if she were ok.

“You ok?” Bette asked breaking into Megan’s thoughts.

“As ok as I suppose I can be,” Megan offered a weak smile.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Sure,” Megan sat her fork down and met Bette’s gaze. “Let’s see, I’ve spent the entire day engulfed in sad memories putting together a scrapbook for my child of Janet and I so she can remember us. I received my monthly Art World magazine to find an article in there mentioning the sad fact that the wealth of people’s work goes up when they die. It was strange to see my name in print as an up and coming artist to watch since I’m sick.”

“They didn’t?” Bette asked in anger.

“You obviously haven’t seen your copy yet.”

“It’s at the gallery still,” Bette placed her hand over Megan’s in comfort. “I’m so sorry.”

“No I am,” Megan squeezed Bette’s hand to offer her apology. “It just gets to me at times and I didn’t mean to take it out on you just now.”

“You’re entitled,” Tina interjected. “You’re entitled to feel how you feel.”

“Being angry doesn’t change the facts, being sad doesn’t make things any easier,” Megan blinked back tears. “It was my decision not to prolong this and I need to own that.”

“Doesn’t mean you won’t feel all of those things.”

“Most of all I’m afraid,” Megan said quietly.

Angelica stopped mid-bite and stayed still, afraid of the direction the conversation was headed. Tina placed her hand over Megan’s other one, gently caressing it, hoping to reassure Megan as much as possible.

“My mom said that when it’s time, she believes that people that go before you come to get you so it isn’t so frightening. God I hope that’s true.”

“We should get ready for Sarah to come home,” Bette picked her plate up and went into the kitchen, extremely uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. “When Kit called me earlier she said she’d bring Sarah home after they ate dinner at The Planet and if we’re going to get your homework done Boo, we better get to it.”

Tina and Megan held hands staring at one another when Bette walked by, still unable to discuss the future in any way relative to Megan. Tina offered a weak, apologetic smile to Megan, who shrugged knowing Bette would avoid facing reality until she couldn’t anymore.

“She’ll get better,” Tina said rubbing Megan’s hand.

“Not until she has to,” Megan said as she watched Bette and Angelica sit on the floor in the living room surrounded by piles of art books to finish her homework.

That scene, hours later, still played continuously in Megan’s head as she struggled to sleep. The dark of night had permeated the house, the only light coming from the lights that illuminated the swimming pool. No matter how hard Megan tried, she could not turn her mind off long enough to fall into a slumber.

Instead of remaining in bed frustrated, she opted for going outside to enjoy the cool night by the pool. She looked at her wheelchair, determined to simply walk on her own the few steps it would take to make it outside. She swung her feet off to the side of the bed, and slowly rose to stand. Her oxygen tank was securely attached to a cart with wheels, allowing her to push it and use it to somewhat offer the small support she needed to keep her balance.

Megan opened the door and slowly walked out onto the patio, happy to see a chair close by. Her breathing was heavy, sweat began to form on her upper lip as she struggled to make it the short distance to the chair. Once she sat down, she smiled in triumph and wiped the perspiration off her face. She closed her eyes, thankful for the cool breeze, feeling content and secure for the first time in days.

Bette walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water to take back to her bedroom, having woken up from a coughing fit. It wasn’t until she shut the refrigerator that the figure sitting poolside caught her attention. It was obvious it was Megan due to the oxygen tank that stood beside her, however it wasn’t obvious to Bette what she was doing outside in the cool night air.

“Megan?” Bette stepped out trying to be quiet as to not startle her friend.

“What are you doing up?”

“I can ask you the same thing,” Bette said. “Aren’t you cold sitting out here?”

“No, I was hot inside and came out for some fresh air.”

Bette stood momentarily next to Megan’s seat, the bottle of water in her hand, unable to think of anything to say.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Bette said as she turned around to head back inside.

“Please,” Megan called out to her. “Sit with me.”

“I’d hate to bother you,” Bette stammered nervously tapping against her bottle of water.

“You’d rather avoid me,” Megan said bluntly. “Sit and tell me why.”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“You’re avoiding the huge pink elephant that’s going to trample you if you don’t watch it.”

“What elephant is that?” Bette asked as she reluctantly sat down.

“I’m dying Bette, and no matter how much you try to avoid it or any discussion surrounding it, you can’t pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“But I also don’t need to obsess about it and I’ve made no claims to agree with you not accepting treatment.”

“I think it’s because it reminds you of your father and you’ve never dealt with it.”

“That’s absurd,” Bette scoffed. “My father has been dead a long time Megan and I’ve put those ghosts to rest long ago.”

Megan sat in silence for a moment before choosing her words carefully to express her own thoughts.

“Do you agree with me that you’ve really bonded with Sarah?”

“If you’re trying to call me a softie I never claimed not to be a pushover with kids.”

“I have to ask you to do one more thing for me and it’s because I think you identify with Sarah the most on this,” Megan hesitated seeing the worried look cloud over Bette’s face. “I don’t want Sarah to grow up thinking I abandoned her like you think Melvin abandoned you because he refused treatment.”

Bette sat in silence pondering the words and tone Megan used to convey her feelings. Bette cringed as she realized that recently, she had more than a few fleeting thoughts of Melvin and had to admit it was getting harder, when faced with Megan, to handle her feelings toward Melvin.

“She won’t think that,” Bette said softly.

“I’m counting on you to make that so,” Megan said closing her eyes. “Can you help me inside?”

Bette set her water down on the patio, helped Megan to her feet, and walked her inside slowly tucking her in for the night. She stopped and looked around, flashes of Melvin lying in a similar bed in the same house years prior. Bette shook her head as she blinked back tears, hurrying to get her water and return to her own bed.

She took another sip of water, her heart racing as she remembered Megan’s words, and then set the water bottle down on the night stand. She sat on the corner of the bed, still fighting tears, before she turned and looked at Tina sleeping next to her.

Tina was laying on her stomach, her arms spread out, and her hair hiding part of her face. Her rhythmic breathing signaled to Bette that she was sound asleep, enjoying the peace of a quiet night. Bette squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to push memories of Melvin out of her head.

Bette’s fingers curled tightly around the sheets on her side of the bed. Her tears fell quickly now, trailing down her cheeks as she replayed Megan’s wish over and over again.

“I don’t want Sarah to think I abandoned her.”

Bette turned back and looked at Tina for a few moments before she felt she couldn’t contain her emotions anymore. She touched Tina’s arm, shaking her softly, causing her to stir in her sleep.

“Please,” Bette said breathless, shaking Tina once more.

Tina’s head popped up with a dazed look on her face. She blinked trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dark and the woman that just woke her up looking sad and beaten.

“Babe?” Tina sat up afraid of the potential of Megan having passed.

“She’s fine.”

“What is it then?” Tina reached out and wiped a stream of tears off of Bette’s cheek. “What’s going on?”

“I need you,” Bette fell into Tina’s strong arms.

Tina rubbed her back, holding her tight, ensuring her head was pressed against Tina’s chest as Bette listened to her heart beating.

“You have me,” Tina reassured. “Tell me what’s going on Babe.”

“He left me, and I have to deal with it before it swallows me whole. Help me.”

Bette held onto Tina tighter as Tina allowed Bette to fall apart in her arms.