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Bette — Plan B; pt. 58
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“Not only did they end my employ, but they sought to ensure that I couldn’t find employment at any other local museums.”
“That’s not right.”
“True,” I agreed. “But sometimes, that’s the way business is done.” Especially when it becomes personal; but I’d rather not even try to explain how her mother factors into all of this.
“Anyway, after these things happened, I was off to the east coast to settle my father’s affairs.”
The magnitude of work that that was, yet another concept that becomes difficult to explain to a teenager. “While I was out there, I found temporary positions with museums that were willing to hire me based on my reputation and past work.”
“So, you stayed out there?”
For too long, I now think. “I remained while I needed to, for the work and the personal matters.”
“But mom?”
“When I’d return to
“So why didn’t you stay, then, and work things out with mom?”
It took moments before I could form the words. “I was scared.”
Jess looked at me, and said nothing.
“I was scared of saying the wrong thing to your mother, or bringing up the wrong events. I was scared that you’d be a stranger to me, which drove actions that, to your mother, made me seem overbearing. Perhaps I was overbearing. I had such incredible fears” Damn, where are those tears coming from? “When I was around, it seemed that we could never get along.”
“So, then you weren’t around.”
“That was the one thing your mother and I could agree upon. Perhaps it would be better if we spent time apart, since we weren’t working together.”
The truth is more along the lines that Tina told me if I wasn’t going to put the effort into being her wife, Jess’s mother, then I might as well not even pretend that I’m trying. Thinking my wounded pride was justification for my actions, I agreed and left again for the east coast. But saying it like that makes it sound as if Tina was to blame. Considering all that I wasn’t sharing with Tina at the time, all that I wasn’t doing for her, I can see why she’d give me an ultimatum. Frankly, she was far more tolerant to me than I would have been to anyone – Tina included – who acted as I had.
“I had been wrapped up in myself, Jess. And you can’t do that as a parent.” At this point, I wanted to badly to touch her, to put an arm across her shoulder, but I feared what her response might be.
“So, I remained away, eventually settling in
“And that was it? You just gave up?”
“In a way, I guess I did.” Our half-hearted attempts at reconciliation aside, I did just give up. “Somehow, I convinced myself that I was doing the best thing for you and your mother.”
“Were you?” The words were sharp. Understandably, she’d be angry at hearing this.
“I can’t explain everything that I did, Jess. It was all happening at a time when I’d like to think that I wasn’t acting as myself.”
“But the end result is that you left.”
“Yes. I left.”
“And you left my mother.”
“I provided for your mother.” Damn, did that sound cold. “But yes, emotionally and physically, I left your mother.”
“But”
Jess’s hurt was still there, but some of the edge seemed to be gone. Mingled with the hurt was confusion.
“Why’s she willing to even talk to you again?”
Why indeed? More tears as I say what must, apparently, be the answer. “Because your mother has an enormous capacity for both love and forgiveness. Regardless of anything else, one thing that I have never forgotten is that I do love your mother. Through everything, I believe she loves me, too.”
Jess stood up, and gave me a glare. “Maybe she’s nicer than me.” She started walking, slowly, along the sand.
She’s assuredly nicer than me, Jess. I got up and trailed behind her, giving he time to think through what I’ve told her.
I just hope when she’s done thinking, that she doesn’t regret having asked what happened, or the fact that I’ve told her.
(tbc?)
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A great chapter and a very interesting conversation. Thank you
please let the next chapter be 4 or 5 pages because I just can’t seem to get enough!
You’ve done it once again. Fantastic update. That took alot of courage on Bette’s part to tell Jess, lord knows it could not have been easy. Jess will be okay. I agree with hollabackgirl, please next update a bit longer, I always look so forward to them.
Poor Jess, Poor Bette. It took guts for Bette to share her story with Jess, knowing how damaging it could be to their relationship. It was nice that Bette was able to make herself vulnerable to Jess and that she was honest in her feelings. And it was a nice touch that she tried to protect Tina as much as possible in her retelling of events. It’s shows that she’s trying to accept most of the blame and not try to out a wedge between Jess and Tina. Can’t wait for the next chapter
“My friend Nanc told me I was full of it.” LOL, thanks pseud, I’m honored ;-)
200 Bon Bons for you. These last chapters have been the best. What gaffs? You can eat Bon Bons while you type can’t you?
This story is moving at a blistering pace over the last few days. Lots of potential for a shift in the dynamic between all characters. I really enjoy how this relationship is developing between Bette and Jess, and can see now some of Bette’s reasons for leaving in the first place. Will Jess understand though? You tell me…thanks for writing as always.
oh my i hope Jess could be able to face the truth and move on its hard for a teenager but she has a chance to be with her both parents and be happy i hope she give Bette a chance but i have to say i´m a little desapointed with Bette i didnt knew she was to weak to gave up of her family like this..ok P your are done an incredible job i love your story everyday more..thanks :o)
fantastic chapter, I hope Jess continues to mellow especially now she can see that Bette is hurting because of the way she acted in the past
Beatiful Amazing writing Story WHOA! I Love it Great conversation with Bette and Jess but what if Jess don’t listen to Bette if she really MAD to Bette Thanks pseud Please post soon.
This stuff is so hard but you’re doing a great job of showing that and letting us feel empathy for both Bette and Jess. Having grown up as a kid with a similar gaping hole – I’m struck by how true to life your portrayal is. Thanks for writing.
this was so articulate and thoughtful. i dont think tina ia nicer than jess. i think that jess really wants this. but of course, i bow down before the writer. wow, tina wont know what the hell is going on when she gets home. thanks and you know the drill, soon please.
I am enjoying this so very much. Please keep it going and come back with more.
Been away for almost a month without a computer. Just read all 10+ installments that I missed. Absolutely amazing story. thanks for the entertainment.
Very hard stuff for a kid to hear from the parent who left them. I’m wondering how Tina’s going to feel about all this revealing of the past. Again your dialogue is spot on.
Powerful stuff those two covered. I wonder if Tina is going to feel like she’s been blindsided if Jess either calls Tina and asks her questions about this or confronts her when she gets back, not knowing that Bette has divulge all of this information without her knowledge.
I think it’s good that Bette and Jess are talking, but Jess still needs to know that although Bette played a part in the break-up, it was not entirely Bette’s fault. Jess needs to know that they are both human and capable of mistakes. What’s more important is that she is aware that they are also both capable of exceptionally deep love as well.
I think that Jess is afraid that Bette will leave again. She’s worried for both herself and Tina. So much to still explore with them all.
Excellent chapter. Painful and moving at the same time. Brutally honest where it needs to be.
This is interesting conversation and let see what’s next!
I like how you let Bette be so honest with Jess. You know what they say, Kids are honest to a fault!
Great insight and great maturity of Bette to admit she was scared.
Can’t wait to “hear” Tina’s version of the story.
Thanks and many bon bons for you this week!