Bette remained preoccupied. 

* * * * *

It was a bit after 3:00 on Friday.  Gail and Bette sat at the coffee shop at what had become their table sipping espressos and sharing a large muffin as they often did now.

“I don’t think you’ve been studying the way you should,” Gail commented almost maternally.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re spending way too much time with me.”

“That’s when I’m studying.”

“Again, I have to tell you that you’re easy to read.  I’m surprised I don’t have laser burns in my skin the way you look at me.  Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

Bette stared down at the miniature cup filled with the rich, black brew.  “Gail, Ash is about to ask me to marry him.  I know that.”  She paused.  “I don’t want to marry.  We had this plan, but I don’t want it any longer.  I’m not ready to be a wife and the thought of being a mother…”  She blew out a breath of air and sighed.  “Not anywhere near my radar screen.  I know what everyone expects of me and I do love him.”

“So tell him what you’re thinking”

“I don’t want to hurt him and Daddy would be devastated.”

“What does your father have to do with it?”

Bette looked up, gazing at Gail, imploring her to understand her predicament.  “He wants this marriage.  He thinks that Ash is the perfect man for me.  Daddy’ll go ballistic and I just don’t want to deal with that.”

Gail frowned.  “So you’d rather saddle yourself down in a marriage you already know isn’t for you?  That’s stupid.”

Wincing, Bette felt like she had been slammed against a wall.  Gail couldn’t possibly understand her issues.  Angering Melvin was something she didn’t want to do.  She had always lived a life outside of Melvin Porter’s wrath and she wanted to keep it that way.  Not marrying Ash, taking time to figure out what she wanted would cause him to blow a gasket.  Bette sucked in her lips as she thought about expressing what she really wanted.  Finally, she spoke in a decibel that was barely audible.  “If my father knew what I wanted…” She blew out a breath.  “If he knew where my mind’s been going lately, he’d be beyond disappointment.  He’d disown me.”