Bette
said “Tina you are starting to scare me. What are you so hesitant to tell me?”

Tina
said “Bette, I am not sure if you remember waking up in a considerable pain in
our hotel room and I called over to the ER. The paramedics came and brought you
to the hospital. Bette you were hemorrhaging and losing a lot of blood, because
you were miscarrying…”

Tina
stopped and waited for a response from Bette. She watched what she said
register and sink into Bette’s mind. Bette’s eyes filled with tears that were
threatening to spill over.  She wiped her
face with her arm.  She looked away from
Tina and looked out the window staring off into the sunlight.  Tina gave her time and space to process what
she had said. Bette had not reached out for her, so she didn’t want to assume
that she needed physical comfort.

Tina
said “Babe?”

Bette
said barely above a whisper “Yeah?”

Tina
said “Say something…”

Bette
said “I don’t know what to say. I feel so many things right now. Most
immediately I am sad.  But, I am also
relieved somewhat.  And feeling that at
all right now, makes me feel guilty and like a horrible person. What kind of
person is relieved their baby died?”

Tina
said “Bette, please be tender with yourself. This was not an ideal situation
for you or us. I am not celebrating this by any means and I too admit that the feelings
are very complicated, but it happened and we have to find a way to move past
it. Maybe your body had to concentrate on getting better and couldn’t do both
things Bette. I don’t know. It is just a very complicated situation, but we
have each other to talk to about it. Please don’t feel guilty sweetheart. And
you are not a horrible person at all. We got put in a very crazy situation and
you and I were trying to decide what was best for us, for our family and your
body made the decision for us”.

Bette
said “I love you Tee, so much!”

Tina
said “I love you too babe! Do you have room for me to come sit on the bed or
lay next to you?”