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Bisous; #15
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These past two months, I had been fighting with the decision to tell Tash about my past, but each time I wanted to, something stopped me. Tash had brought such immense joy into my life, and I hated knowing that in this spilt second, I might have lost her forever.
I had made such a big mistake again, but there was no space for regrets right now.
All I felt was pain surging through my entire body.
How did I manage to screw up yet another great relationship?
***
I took me a while before I found the strength to move. I didn’t know what to do, so I took a deep breath and walked into Tash’s office.
“Yes?” her voice came from behind the door.
I absent-mindedly walked in to see that she was engrossed in doing something on her computer; she didn’t look up at me.
“Tash, I…”
She threw me a pointed glare, “Close the door behind you,” she said sternly, before turning back to face her computer screen.
I whipped around and shut the door, “Tash, please…” I repeated.
“If it’s anything I cannot tolerate,” Tasha said, still not looking at me, “It’s being deceived, especially,” she continued, turning to stare at me, “by the woman that I am seeing.”
I walked towards her, “Tash, please,” I cried, the tears running down my cheeks, “That was never my intention. I wanted to tell you…I wanted to so many times, but I was so afraid. There was the pressure of finding a job and then, the situation with Bette that…”
“I don’t have to listen to anything you say right now,” she replied coldly, “Everything you tell me is questionable.”
“Would you please just listen to me?” I implored.
Tash looked up at me blankly, as if she were looking at a stranger, “I expect your resignation on my desk by tomorrow,” she said.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how could she do this to me.
“But why…I haven’t done anything to warrant…”
“It’s just won’t work out, Helena,” she continued, “How do you expect me to let you continue working here when Katherine has just taken over the top position in Motorola?”
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Helena needs some happiness….maybe she needs to completely cut the ties from her pass and move on. Everytime she gets a message from Bette it just makes her feel worst.
neon is in process, my dear. in fact i plan on it being done in a day or two. i’m so touched by this part because i kinda feel like helena, all lost and lonely. good stuff, sweetie, i hope to see more soon!
Awww I love Autumn myself, my favorite season and unfortunately it passes too quickly. That was a sweet gift from Bette. More when you can!
How can you get over somebody who is so dang sweet!?! *sighs* Great chapter. Never fails to touch my heart.
I must say I love this story! I’m really looking forward to your next post for it. One other thing can the six months hurry up and get here? I think Helena and myself have suffered enough. Really, we have. But until you feel we have suffered enough I’ll read it every chance I get. Excellent update!
Man, I didn’t think she would loose her job! Sadly, while they were a comfort to each other…and a kind of love was growing, her and Tasha were not…could not completely connect because of her love for Bette. I love Tasha but ummm…was the firing legal? I suppose it would have eventually gotten quite unbearable, but what were the grounds or was that technically a mutual agreement to part? Indeed in changing her life, it is as though she’s lost control of her life. I hope she will stop going through these experiences of being dismissed, it makes her fortify her walls even more! Sometimes it masquerades as strength but really becomes impenetrability. Great update!! Btw, please, please…no moving on with Marina! lol! Thanks…PPS!
EC, EC, EC….I suffering…Man am I hurting for our heroine. I think you really need to rethink that Chicago move to get the girl…I have to confess my jaw DROPPED when Tasha fired her. No kidding. Then I thought. She should fight it, but why…Its not the job that she lost, its the love, the companionship…Yup time to move on…Call me a wus but I teared up over that snow globe and the note…You are killing me!… WHERE ARE YOU BETTE!!!I don’t know how much of this I can take…You are freaking killing me with this story…Oh BTW did I mention today how much I love this story…I just don’t know how much longer I cna take this angst…I might need to go get that book Helena was reading…OK….PPS
EC, EC, EC….I suffering…Man am I hurting for our heroine. I think you really need to rethink that Chicago move to get the girl…I have to confess my jaw DROPPED when Tasha fired her. No kidding. Then I thought. She should fight it, but why…Its not the job that she lost, its the love, the companionship…Yup time to move on…Call me a wus but I teared up over that snow globe and the note…You are killing me!… WHERE ARE YOU BETTE!!!I don’t know how much of this I can take…You are freaking killing me with this story…Oh BTW did I mention today how much I love this story…I just don’t know how much longer I cna take this angst…I might need to go get that book Helena was reading…OK….PPS
God…I feel sorry for Helena!!! I’m really loving this story!! I can’t wait for Bette to return! They really deserve happiness together! Belena 4ever!!!!
j’aime beaucoup!!! where is she indeed, autumn is definitely in the air…but it’s winter in Chicago, brrrr-maybe Tina couldn’t take it and left, yea…j’adore me update!! Cheers and PPS
Hello My Beautiful Dragonfly… I can feel this is going to be a long and hard road for beautiful Helena… isn’t it funny that she left a life in which she felt completely ‘happy’ in… because she knew she couldn’t have the one object of her desires… and when she gives it up for said person… she ends up all alone anyways… I can feel her loneliness… and her pain… and her longing… it is your power with words to infuse such raw emotions within the context of your story that makes you such an amazing gift… much love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels) (PS – yeah ‘sleeping’ can’t get enough of that huh LOL… thanks for the music it inspired me completely last night on my long walk… huggles)
wow…that was so beautiful…my eyes teared up at the present form Bette…OHHH NOOOO…A tibetter is a believer:)lol…your words my girl where so moving and powerful and full of pain that you were trying to show..so proud..well done!!!
OMG this is getting so depressing. Poor Helena. I hope that she can pull everything together and not fall into old habits. As for Bette, I hope something knocks some sense into her. I don’t understand how she can deny herself the love that they share. Stubborn little something, she is. You are writing this very well. I am feeling Helena’s turmoil. But it’s making me so anxious. I am on pins and needles hoping that she makes it thru this without screwing up even worse or getting so down that she does something stupid. I have been waiting for this update with anticipation and dread. I want to know what happens next, yet I am afraid it will not be good. Crud, you’ve got me so captivated that it’s driving me crazy. God, I love/hate it! =) With that being said, PPS! LOL!