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    Breathe- Chapter 12

    She finally surrendered and just said “More than just my friend. I lost part of me, and I lost my innocence.”

    She hesitated, thinking about all that had left her life in that one brief moment, the moment Marcey died. “But, I also found something. I don’t know how I would have survived yesterday or will survive today or tomorrow without you Bette.”

    That overpowering need to protect surfaced again with such force that Bette felt her own eyes fill with tears.

    “Don’t,” she stopped until she could go on without emotion overcoming her. “Don’t worry about today and tomorrow T, I will be here. You won’t have to face any of this alone.”

    Tina shook her head and tried to summon the strength to continue. “Bette, how can you promise that? You must have a life of your own that you have to get back to. There must complications with this being your case,” Tina pushed herself further into Bette, needing to be close, needing her arms around her

    “Bette,” she continued “you saved me. I know that and I know that I am holding on to you for dear life because I am afraid to let go. But I will have to let” Tina stopped unable to continue.

    “I don’t understand any of this.” Tina finally whispered, her earlier strength having vanished with the thought of Bette walking out of her life.

    “T, you know what,” Bette suddenly felt confident, as if things weren’t nearly as complex or desperate as they seem.

    “I don’t understand how feelings could develop so quickly between us. I don’t understand the depth of the emotion that passes between us in one look. I don’t understand why I want so desperately to be the one to keep you safe.

    But, while I may not understand, I do know that this is real, and I can feel it right here.” Bette brought Tina’s hand to her chest over her heart.

    Bette’s could feel her heartbeat quicken as she saw the hope and acceptance in Tina’s eyes. “It is so complicated, probably more than we even realize,” Tina said weakly, offering her last line of defense.

    “Probably more than we even realize,” Bette repeated, “But I don’t have enough strength in my body to walk away from you.”

    Bette kissed Tina again, desperate to convince and be convinced that both would stay and fight for each other and for their relationship. Their tongues met and the love and longing was communicated every time their touch was broken and they had to feel their lips together again and again.

    As Bette pulled her lips from Tina’s and began to place soft, feathery kisses on her neck, Tina gasped “Bette, make love to me. I want to give you everything that I am.”

    Bette moaned and nuzzled her way to Tina’s ear. Licking the soft skin, she let her warm breath play over the cool wet skin.

    “T, I so want you. I want to feel you, to be inside of you. I want to make you mine, you need to believe that,” Tina looked away and bit her lower lip as she heard an inevitable but on the horizon.

    “But,” she asked quietly.

    “But,” Bette continued, “It’s too soon T, it’s too soon for you and for us,” Bette kissed along Tina’s jaw and then looked directly into her eyes, knowing that all her love was there to be seen.

    She saw Tina draw a quick breath, and knew she saw it, she understood that Bette had fallen.

    “If after I have told you everything, if you still want me to make love to you, well,” Bette gave her a seductive smile and then moving her lips to Tina’s she said. “Be careful what you ask for, you just might get your wish.”

    And then captured Tina’s lips in a searing embrace that told them both there was no place to run.

    Comments

    1. Oh my, this is really really good…I don’t comment much too… just wanna let you know I’m looking forward to your mysterious yet romantic story… love the CSI part, don’t worry… just do what you think is right… ;)

    2. I love the CSI stuff; it gives the BnT story a fresh perspective. Also, I didn’t think the chapter was too long. Hell, I read the complete story only yesterday, so I wouldn’t mind another marathon of chapters. Great writing——a couple of typos aside——this story is well-written and utterly engaging. I totally feel the pair’s connection. Kudos to you!

    3. happy feet. saw your post. you couldnt put enough pages to make this story to long for me. navigating these waters is gonna be difficult. elk hair. hummm. i love csi stuff. btw (ot) b&tf is part of our club. she lives here also. kinda fun to hang with someone as obsessed as me. lol. (ot) this story is captivating, thoughtful awesome. please post asap.

    4. I have only commented on 1 story before but I really felt the need to comment on yours. This story is absolutely FABULOUS! I have been reading fan-fiction since it began. (I am a die-hard Tina & Bette fan!) CSI and CSI Miami are two of my favorite shows on TV. I love how you have incorporated the forensics into this story. It is truely fascinating!!!

    5. Awww…so sad to hear about the closing of the 13 Coins. I can’t tell you how many times I ate at that restaurant, after partying at the local women’s bars!! When I was just coming out, there was a bar just up the street called Eastlake East. At the time, it was the largest women’s bar on the west coast. My apartment was in between the bar and the resturant. Oh yes…good times! Your descriptions of Bette and Tina’s emotions, as well as how they move when they are in each others presence, is just exquisite. Thank you for what I am sure is an incredible amount of time spent thinking about, and then writing this story. Oh, and how I am supposed to concentrate on writing my next chapter, when all I can do is anxiously await yours?

    6. I love CSI. Miami and L V, NY is a little to dark for me. I like it so much I watch the reruns on the off days, I love this story,Bette seems to know her job well, Bobbie must have been her partner and got killed by some one. THANKS

    7. Now the mystery is unfolding, that’s good, and you get five stars for that :)
      I loved the way she talked to her Captain, I found back THE Bette Porter from the L word, it was great!
      Please, keep up the good job, as you always do with this story, I’m so hooked up to this :)
      And no worries about long chapters, I think I’ll adjust just fine ;D
      xxx

    8. The way I see it sox, the longer the chapter the better.. feel free to go on for hours at a time, everybody needs the freedom to express themselves aye, who are we to stop you!!
      each one is actually better then the last and considering the first one was awesome I think we are well onto mind-blowing by now! :D

    9. This is a great story Sox.Please keep writing.I like CSI stuff. I used to watch alot of Forensic Files and other stuff having to do with real crime stories.Can’t wait for their first time.

    10. Again, great story. I’m in Woodinville so am thinking of places about 45 mins. out of Seattle with Elk……….Anyway, will eagerly await the next chapter. Am almost sad it is so nice outside today as you may be playing and not writing!

    11. Oh, yes do punish us with such long chapters…we have been so tardy in reading them that we deserve to be punished!!!! Yes bring it on!!! TKS for all your effort in this story…truly a piece of art!!!

    12. Just caught up on the last couple of chapters and can’t wait for you to publish more. Such a great story. Someone earlier mentioning that when you finish this story that you should consider changing the names and trying to get it publish and I so totally agree. There are a couple of publishing companies of lesbian fictions that accept submissions.

    13. Sox, an incredibly compelling story! You are expertly interweaving the emotional and forensic. I liked Bette’s inner monologue whether or not their attraction was just a result of the circumstances. Seems that would be a realistic thought, at least at initially.

      I also like the Bette is smart enough to realize that she might be a little too close to the situation to do justice in interviewing Tina.

      Elk hair, eh? Hmmm, could this link the killer to other homicides in other parts of the country or continent…like Canada, maybe? Does the killer have some unknown tie to the reporter from the hospital?

      So many wonderful things about this story. I find myself ignoring everything else (including my tea kettle whistling) while I am reading your story. Bravo! Can’t wait for more.

    14. Excellent chapter. I love the mystery element, and I love the way the relationship is developing. Can’t wait to see how they get on when the outside world and the investigation kicks in. Looking forward to more, plese post soon.

    15. sox – this story is amazing – the detail of both emotion and mystery – the romantic mystery as well as the mureder mystery. I’m with you as it unfolds from your mind – thanks. ~bfan

    16. Each Sunday, I select one writer and read all of their work…today it was you Sox — This is so wonderful. You are terrific thanks for your talent…I have now added you to my daily favorites but must say it was delightful to spend today reading your work from start to finish…You are indeed most talented.

    17. I dont usually comment but to hell with the habits…this story is SO worth it. I was sooooooo damn giddy, skippin in my chair when I saw your new chappy just now…your story is too compelling, intriguing,fascinating,captivating….Im hooked to it like super-glue..LOL
      Oh and dont worry that it might be long..I was hoping it would never end, seriously. I was so psychd when it was 5 pages first of all and then I kept throwin glances at the scroll bar to see how fast one page was finished and to my happiness it was such a lengthy, thourough, intense read.
      THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
      Now I personally dont mind the CSI parts…it all makes up for a great reading experience. In all the suspense and everythin else happening too I just need to kepp tellin myself not to chew my nails down while reading..*haha*!!! KEEP it UPPP!!!!:-D
      Oh and i luved Bette takin it out on her boss..he didnt see that coming.lol
      Btw,so how long before Bette tells Tina ‘everthing’ bout her past?

    18. i was cranky this morning because my daughter got me up before dawn. But all is right with the world after reading your story Sox. It’s just so damn good!

    19. Great chapter. I quite like the CSI stuff it all goes to make the story for me, I can try to follow the clues.LOL Bette is going to have to explain that she has crossed the line to Tina because Tina doesn’t seem to have realised that. There is no getting away from it, it is going to cause a massive problem through the whole investigation and if there is one the trial (though I guess Bette will end up shotting him while he towers over Tina with a huge knife!). It is also going to put an enormous strain on the new relationship – one that is so complicated without all the extraneous stuff. After all that is said there is the murderer coming after them! Man this story rocks:-)

    20. so elk hair, that’s weird i didn’t know there was elk in seatle

      So a question and it might be cause I really tried and it’s 430 am but when you did the killers chapter you said he, but in this chapter you said the reporter was a she. Are they different reporters??
      Or am I just making things up

    21. Simply amazing, I am on pins and needles wondering where this is going. The intensity of B & T’s feelings has been written superbly. How the main characters will make it through these complicated days ahead, I don’t know. How I will make it until the next chapter, I don’t know that either. Perfect.

    22. Sorry if I repeat myself from previous comments, but this is great … again.

      This is so realisic. I mean that yes, Bette met Tina 31 hours ago and yes, she is failing for her. And there is the external world approaching both of them …whaou !!! I can’t wait for your next chapter.
      Personally I am fine with the CSI stuff. The way you describe the atmosphere and give us some clue, it is perfect.
      I assume Bette past will have a role in the way she will deal with her new found love, it has to be. Also even if I perfectly understand that Tina does not have any problem to deal with her feelings for Bette, it will probably be another story when she will be confronted to the outside world ? Not that I want to see her rejecting herself or Bette, but questions should play in her mind …

      Read you soon … TKS

    23. I have just caught up today and have left you other messages. I hope you don’t get tired of me telling you how much I love your story. I get spellbound by it. Thanks for the strong Bette. I like how she made a choice nice thanks

    24. You should look into getting a book deal! Your writting is captivating, well-paced, balanced and I am enjoying the way you are developing this story. Long chapters are a bonus! BRAVO

    25. Wonderful chapter, thank you so much !
      It’s such a daily pleasure to read your story…

      Well, Bette’s position became pretty hard to deal with. And so Tina’s interview will certainly be a deeply painful experiment on every possible ways.

      Now, more than ever, I cannot wait to discover the next update of your so sensitive and truly well-written story !

    26. There must be something in the air up there, that breeds people with exquisite writing and storytelling abilities. Sox and Seahurst (no disrespect to all the other brilliant authors on this fansite) but it’s just amazing. The brisk salt air, maybe?! Whatever it is, I am just in awe of your stories, and how you take us through and draw us into each emotion and situation. In commenting I find that I’m inadequate to express my great appreciation for your stories. Sox, I’ll never flip passed another investigated crime story again, without the new found appreciation I’ve gained from your writing. As you take us through their challenges, doubts, and reasonings to get to the murder, and then to their relationship, after all that madness I will be intently awaiting each new post. You give us so much intensity, and intrigue, in one post, that I almost feel ungrateful to ask for more. So, I’ll just wait patiently. Have a great weekend.

    27. SOX… i love this story… you know i had a bad feeling about that male nurse at the hospital… i wonder if her is in some way conected to this creap… what a stroy… and i am not one for murder mysteries but you got me… so keep on typing and i will always keep on commenting…thanks…oh and the chapters are never too long…please continue

    28. Excellent story. I usually don’t like the whole murder/mystery genre but your story has me absolutely hooked. Thanks for the long chapter…it’s so good I still wanted more. Great job!

    29. WOW! Everytime I’m able to log on there are like multiple posts of this story and I get to read for 30-45 minutes! Yipee!!! I love this story, of course the B&T loving but this is like the first fic that really has this underlying plot to it that seems so real. You are so talented, send this out to some publishers!! I think you’re going at the right speed, the details are amazing, again, I LOVE this STORY!!!!

    30. What!? They shut the 13 Coins down, when? I just ate there less than a year ago. I’m losing the pulse on my hometown since I moved last winter. Sigh :-(

      Now, on to reading your story, which I LOVE!

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